Is my character Cliche?

Discussion in 'Character Development' started by DonnyCraft(JS), Dec 7, 2014.

  1. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2010
    Messages:
    15,262
    Likes Received:
    13,084
    I would agree in general, but it's risky to explain a scientific issue in so much detail, if the science isn't accurate. I'd recommend eliminating the explanation.
     
    Renee J likes this.
  2. DonnyCraft(JS)

    DonnyCraft(JS) Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2014
    Messages:
    29
    Likes Received:
    1
    Thanks man!
     
  3. chicagoliz

    chicagoliz Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    May 30, 2012
    Messages:
    3,280
    Likes Received:
    817
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    I agree with both @ChickenFreak and with @Okon -- I do find it very difficult to believe that they'd be able to predict the very specific behavior that the serotonin problem would create. However, if you write a really kick-ass story that's just so amazing and so compelling, then I could forgive the questionable premise as part of my suspension of disbelief.

    So yes, it's a problem, but it can be a minor problem if you rectify the other issues -- that is, that we really get to know him and get caught up in the story and believe him as a character.
     
  4. bossfearless

    bossfearless Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2014
    Messages:
    141
    Likes Received:
    55
    Well, the character seems a bit wooden, but then so too does the prose. Unless you're writing from the point of view of a mechanical character, the sentences shouldn't be mechanical and choppy like they are in your firsta couple posts. And I would not have him describing himself as "I remember having..." because that's just not a thing people would say.

    Here's an example of how you could fix it:
    Now: I don't like mirrors. I have short, curly, brown hair in a crew cut. I have an angular face from my father. I have brown eyes from my mother.

    Suggestion: People always tell me I have my dad's angular jawline and all that, but I definitely have my mom's eyes. Brown, just like my curly hair. I like to keep that pretty short most of the time, but these days I always shave it down to a crew cut. See I got in a fight a while back and this other guy grabbed my hair and yanked out a big fistful, really gave a new meaning to havin' someone by the short and curlies, ya know? Anyway, nobody's gonna snatch hold of a buzz cut, so I keep it like that just in case. Added bonus? I never have to worry about styling it in a mirror; I freaking hate those things.


    Also, for the love of all that is holy: Your and You're, learn to use them properly.

    Hope this helps.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice