1. Hero-Jean629
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    Hero-Jean629 Member

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    Is she a round character? Realistic?

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by Hero-Jean629, Sep 26, 2011.

    Santana is a soccer-orientated, kind yet flirtatious individual in one of my upcoming stories. Very confident in her abilities as an athlete but confident in her looks as well. She's gorgeous and she knows it but unlike most who'd take advantage of it, she only uses it in "extreme" situations. The best friend to my main character, Leroy (a huge nerd), she loves flirting with him just to make him blush, she finds him absolutely adorable. She became best friends with Leroy in the 8th grade when she was new to the school, he followed her to the bathroom and confessed that he had a crush on her. Before he attempted to kiss her, she stopped him and confessed that she liked girls, a secret that no one else besides Leroy knows to today, even her family despite the fact that she'd be out with dates or score with girls all the time and tells Leroy.
    When another girl, Areti, comes and Leroy spends a majority of his time with the new girl, Santana becomes jealous by acting bitter and rather bitchy. She then starts interrupting on their "dates", making both Areti and Leroy uncomfortable, and continuously tries to "up" Areti. By the time the date is over, Leroy angrily confronts her in the rain. She then breaks down, telling him that she was jealous of Areti and Leroy's growing friendship and that she's worried that Leroy will forget her.

    So what do you think?
     
  2. Youniquee
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    Youniquee (◡‿◡✿) Contributor

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    I find it hard to tell through just a character description. I kinda have to see them weaved in the story and have opinion on it then.
    But I'll try. I think she's a realistic character, assuming she's a teenager. This might be a nitpick but she's attractive and good at sports (Bit too perfect perhaps?) Why not only pick one? Unless her being sports is apart of the story.
     
  3. Tesoro
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    Tesoro Contributing Member Contributor

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    i guess the feeling of jealousy towards a friend is something we all can relate to, but somehow this character who is "Very confident in her abilities as an athlete but confident in her looks as well" to me sounds unlikely to worry about someone forgetting her just because he makes another friend. Especially if she knows he once (or still?) had/has a crush on her. Does she only appear to be self confident even though struggling with insecurities? Because otherwise to me it sounds a little contradictory.
     
  4. Victoria Baye
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    Victoria Baye Member

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    ^I agree with the above.

    I have to say that an athletic, attractive character who knows how to use her "wiles" sounds a little egotistical, which isn't what you seem to be aiming for. An attractive person who is aware of her looks but hardly dwells on them and doesn't ever "use" them may be more likable, in my opinion.

    If her best friend is the only one who knows that she's gay, she'd obviously value his friendship, because she'd have to be working through some insecurities from withholding this information and he'd be the only one she could talk to. If she had a jealous personality type, I can see why she'd get jealous if all of a sudden he started hanging out with another girl.

    Also, if she's "scoring and going on dates with" girls all the time, she and her friend wouldn't be the only one to know that she was gay. It seems like word would get around.

    However, I do find this character pretty realistic, considering that I used to know an attractive, athletic, gay soccer player, haha :)
     
  5. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I think you should chuck the character description and write the character in the story. Depth never comes from a profile. It comes from the cumulative effect of the writing.
     
  6. Quezacotl
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    Quezacotl Contributing Member

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    I agree with this. A synopsis of a character will never give your readers the full scope of a character's personality.
    From this synopsis, we only know that this character is aware of her sexuality, enjoys teasing Leroy, and is rather self-centered. When confronted by a friend she would rather not lose, she quickly gives in. It seems as if she has a plausible motivation to break down.

    Her personality certainly does seem real. There are people with crazier stories in real life. However I cannot tell you if she is a well-rounded character.
    To do so, we have to see and know more things about her. Specifically:

    What does Santana think of herself?
    How does Santana communicate with others?
    What do other people say about Santana.

    Answer these questions through your writing and you can make a well-rounded character. Answer these questions and look at your answers. Would you believe them? Remember, the only person you need to convince in writing your story is yourself. It will become obvious to your readers if even you do not believe how your characters would act.
     
  7. Hero-Jean629
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    Hero-Jean629 Member

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    The town that they live in is very much sports orientated like nearly every kid is expected to take up some sort of sport, Leroy (MC) is not that kind-very nerdy and aspiring comic book artist, she's extremely close to him because he's the only person that knows her secret which is that she's a lesbian. While sports and looks might be her forte, school work is certainly not. They complete each-other, while she always picks him when they need to choose teams in gym (in order to protect him) and he helps her with her homework.
    She may appear one of those characters that acts arrogant and self confident but she is insecure and therefore doesn't use her looks all too much, she'd rather much use her skills (before I was writing all that in a hurry). And when she goes on dates with other girls, she heads out to other towns within a 50 mile radius which she works a lot to make the money for. In a partial dialogue to explain their relationship:
    -------------------------------------------
    "We're so taboo," She grinned at him and continued to annoyingly mash the sugar-free gum in her mouth loudly. He glared at her over his glasses before he continued his work on the problem on the paper.
    Santana leaned over to him and shrugged, "We're like siblings but-"
    He raised an eyebrow and gave her a glance,"But?"
    Leroy much felt like a rabbit looking into the face of a coyote when he saw the smirk on her face. How does he get himself into these types of situations? With her all of all people!
    He stayed perfectly still, whatever muscles he owned in his whole body tensed as she got up with a small push from the table and sauntered behind him. The sound of high heels slowly clicked behind him before her long, before the chair he was sitting in was completely turned around to face her. With a twinkle in her eye, she sat down quite comfortably on his lap and snuggled in rather nicely against his chest. Underneath the skin of his face, a fire was ignited that began to spread thoroughly down his neck.
    "We're taboo," she muttered softly against his shoulder as her fingers ideally played with his short hair, "because we are rather..." with her free hand she turned his head towards her, lips inches a part. Leroy could feel her warm breath against his lips in an inviting manner, his throat felt abruptly barren.
    Santana purred in a voice that washed over him like warm butter, "Incestuous."
    What felt like forever before Santana broke, she started to giggle and dripped her head to his shoulder. He pouted as his body vibrated from the wracks of laughter from his companion. Leroy hated this game. He always lost!
    She finally calmed down and sighed, a stupid grin attached to her lips. Leroy lightly tipped his head to the side to look at her a bit with a fixed glare.
    "I hate you."
    "You're too cute when you blush." She applied a kiss to his burning cheek before he shooed her from his lap.
    ----------------------------------------------
    Basically that describes their relationship-incestuous and taboo ;)

    To Victoria Bay-thank-you very much :) I thought since most MC's that are girls have gay best friends so I thought I might switch her around.
     
  8. Protar
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    Protar Active Member

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    So she's a confident, athletic, gorgeous lesbian? Sounds perfect and that's the problem. Sure it's well rounded and I expect there's someone like that out there but characters aren't here to satisfy all your kinks and interests. Well they are partially but if the reader thinks a character is too perfect they'll complain. Does she have to be sporty? Maybe she's just ordinarily pretty as opposed to a goddess.
     
  9. Croga
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    Croga Member

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    First a few problems believing in the character.
    If her sexuality is so controversial and secretive, why would she tell the first guy who tried it on with her?
    Surely more guys would try it on with her, why not tell them baring in mind she told him?
    Different character, but most 'geek' type characters do not hit on the prettiest girl in school and try kiss her.
    If she is both insecure and confident that is a contradiction that can really build a realism in the fact that even in our flaws people are complicated, but with being confident and insecure in regards to only one aspect of her...
    fifty mile radius, either she drives or thats difficult.

    Problems with her well she is too bright and cheerful and is someone i don't have to read the book to know.
    Almost any high school drama features the carbon copy pretty girl with confident insecurity and not too much smarts but she is savvy.
    In terms of her dark side which i think everyone has to be imperfect, why can't she have an eating disorder, or hate herself because she loves Leroy and can't find a girl who compares to him and she wishes she could be into him. She could suffer anxiety attacks when her worlds as Santana and lesbian intertwine like when her team plays a girlfriends team. then the anxiety and depression could manifest its self into cutting her thighs or her wrists, maybe even a suicide attempt.
    If thats too melodramatic then perhaps alter her perfect life to allow for smaller imperfections.

    My art teacher once told me. "you can of course draw a pencil, but unless you do an amazing job, then it will be ugly, but if you draw flowers and broken glass, even if you fall short of perfect you have a very interesting drawing." this is how i look at characters simple can be nice and beautiful, but most times it just looks like a lazy line drawing.
     
  10. Chivalrous Tart
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    Chivalrous Tart Member

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    I think you need to answer some more questions about your character. For instance, why is she a Lesbian? Were there bad experiences in the past that made her prefer females over males? I live with a houseful of people who prefer the same sex (all females), and they tended to have problems with men or were abused by family members. While this may not be the case, I think you need to have a reason for her to prefer women. Is she actually a lesbian or is she just trying to get attention? What does she get from a female and female relationship as opposed to female and male. What is her reasoning. A well rounded character needs a full history, and from your synopsis (which isn't the best way to show your character, as others have said) you don't seem to have a full character yet. I think if she is smart, pretty, athletic (i.e. perfect) she has to have one messed up past and demons in her closet.

    I guess I'm just advertising Croga's point that your character seems contradictory.

    Anyways, best of luck.
     
  11. Protar
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    Protar Active Member

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    Absolute nonsense. People don't have to have a reason for their sexuality, and that's a very old fashioned and bigoted view. I'm bi and I can tell you I haven't had a traumatic past. Personally I'm a bit offended.
     
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  12. suddenly BANSHEES
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    suddenly BANSHEES Contributing Member

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    I wish I could hi-five you through the internet.
     
  13. Protar
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    Protar Active Member

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    /high five :)
     
  14. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    To me, she's too perfect and too extreme. Too brightly colored. She's gorgeous, confident, sexually independent, athletic, kind, tells her deepest secret to a complete stranger she's barely met. She's pursued by men and women alike, to the extent that that same teenage-boy stranger she's barely met cuts out his heart and presents it to her for destruction by admitting to a crush...

    Too much, IMO. I can believe in the boy's existence; I can't believe in her. I see her almost as his imaginary friend, his fantasy.

    ChickenFreak
     
  15. Hero-Jean629
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    Hero-Jean629 Member

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    Well perhaps "told" was the wrong word to use. When he tried to kiss her, with no heart in pushing him away physically, she blurted out her secret. Of course then she broke down in the bathroom. Though at a young age, Leroy had sympathy for her and promised that he'd tell no one. Santana is sporty, social butterfly, and beautiful (though she argues it's all about skills not looks) but she can get jealous easily, has a hard time in school, jumps to conclusions, and has extreme insecurity with her sexual orientation because it clashes with her family's belief and is deeply afraid of rejection of the people she cares about. I'm not trying to make her perfect or unimaginable but I did base her off a good friend of mine. Leroy is her best friend and almost the only person she can actually relax and be herself around.
     

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