Perhaps Public is right and my idea is too childish. It's just I've been interested in fantasy since I was young and that's what I'm use to writing. Maybe I can make the story a little more mature, but not too mature, as I want this to be something people of all ages can enjoy. What are some ways I could make the story more mature. Also I could use a little help coming up with a good beginning middle and end.
Coming up with the story is your job. And this is most definitely your job! But don't let anyone decide for you whether your idea is any good. It's a summary, not the actual story, and everything depends on how you execute it.
I'm starting to think that maybe I shouldn't go with this idea. My purpose in writing this story was to share my idea of a utopian world, but I'm starting to think I shouldn't force my opinions on others.
A writer cannot force opinions to others. He or she can only offer them. But a synopsis is not the story. Write the story, or don't. That decision is yours alone. Don't abdicate all your decisions to others. Writers lead the way. They blaze the trails, not just follow the popular path.
'Do or do not. There is no try.' - Yoda, Star Wars: Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. Simple, yet ultimately wise, words. If you are going to do it, do it. Hesitate, and doubt can destroy a project. - Darkkin
I'm going to write this story. As a person I can't force my opinion on people. I can only share my opinion with other people.
It's interesting that you say you want the character to be based on you, starting with how you are and ending with how you want to be. That kind of character is often knocked and called a "Mary-Sue" - might be worth googling - but actually the thing most critics don't acknowledge is that it's a pretty good method of tapping into a certain section of young readership. They want to go along on that ride, with you. And that readership brings a huge potential market. So, I'm glad to see that you're keen to go ahead with it. I think you should be careful about the politics, though. I don't think it's necessarily a good idea to go in heavy with the politics if you're already doubting your own ideas. Perhaps go easy with the politics and use them as an uncomplicated backdrop. I don't know. Good luck, anyway.
Yes, I agree the focus of the story shouldn't be the politics of the two planets. Perhaps the focus can be about the war between the two planets. By the way I'll google Mary-Sue character and find out more about this kind of character. edit: I just looked up the term Mary Sue character and basically the character is an ideal character, usually an ideal form of the author themselves. They seem to be most popular in fan fiction, but can occur in original fiction as well.
Sounds like a pretty cool idea. But its fate will ultimately rely on how well you development the worlds, environments, character, etc. Such is life as a writer! The story sounds like it would be sort of a metaphor for how our current world is.
Just something to think about: Why would the one world attack a world more technologically advanced? It would seem like a lost cause to me on the surface, depending on what they have/don't have. The utopian world brings to mind Tolaana, from Stargate:SG1. They are high tech, peaceful among the populace, but they deal with crime rather abruptly. Kind of a police/big brother state. They also have a huge problem sharing tech with less advanced races, they won't do it because they think that they will just go around destroying. They are ruled by a council. Funny thing is though, as high tech and advanced as they were, they were still caught with their pants down and destroyed. I think you have a good idea, lots to play with.
You have a point. Why would a less technologically advanced world try to attack a world that is more technologically advanced. I'll have to think of other reasons then just to spread their culture.
To steal the technology. Maybe they have, or believe they have, some other quality that may allow them to succeed. Also, two technologies might be so different thay cannot be easily compared. A society might not have electricity and every technology that is an outgrowth of that, yet have a very advanced biochemistry-based technology.
The less technologically advanced world would need to steal technology from the more technologically advanced world in order to have a chance against them so that could be another reason why the less technologically advanced world attacks the more technologically advanced utopian world.
This story chose you. You didn't chose it. Now you need to make a decision to develop and write it or forget about it. That's in my opinion though
Yes it's a good idea. Anything is a good idea (except plagiarism), but it's your skill as a writer which will determine if it's a good story. Ideas are like arseholes, everyone has them. Don't be the guy/girl who goes around looking for confirmation before you even start writing, it does nothing to help you progress as a writer. If you're scared that you'll suck, don't be. You have to suck at something before you can become better (unless you're a prodigy, and who knows?). Excuse the clichéd sayings.
I agree, you got to suck at something before you become better. Hopefully by writing this story my writing will improve. Writing is a skill that takes time and practice to improve.
