1. Catrin Lewis
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    Catrin Lewis Contributing Member Contributor

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    Is This Going Too Far?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Catrin Lewis, Aug 4, 2016.

    This concerns the same plot outline I'm dealing with in these threads:

    http://www.writingforums.org/threads/martial-arts.147495/

    http://www.writingforums.org/threads/so-what-could-she-do.145962/#post-1443263/

    The basic idea is that while my hero and heroine are on their honeymoon in Europe, they'll find out that her ex-boyfriend, a West German violinist, has been kidnapped by a gang of Red terrorists and it falls out that the only way he can be rescued is if the heroine goes in by herself and does . . . well, I haven't 100% figured that out yet, but they say discovery writing is fun.

    Anyway, the hero is already a little jealous of him in Book One, and at the beginning of Book Two, Mr. Ex has got to make himself a stink in the hero's nostrils.

    My thought was that I'd begin Chapter 1 with the heroine taking her martial arts class (krav maga!), so we know she's learning how to break holds and so on. When she gets home, the ex-boyfriend is waiting for her, and he tries to convince her to drop the hero and come back to him. She sends him on his way, but . . .

    Well, I was thinking that as he's heading out the door he'll grab her and kiss her, and for a second she'll forget herself and it'll be like old times all over again. So much so she'll forget to use the defensive moves she's learned in her k. a. class.

    When she tells the hero, he gets mad, they fight, he says some terrible things and stalks out. The two of them indulge in a few days of respective sulking, but they do reconcile and forgive each other. And then three months later he has to trust her to be part of the plan to rescue the ex, without him. I want him to struggle with the decision, but ultimately to get the better of his jealousy.

    But can I truly expect my hero to forgive his fiancee for kissing an old boyfriend, especially when he suspects/knows she enjoyed it? The general opinion from the Interwebz is that forgiveness in such cases is difficult at best, and impossible at worst. That any such kiss took place at all, no matter who initiated it, whether the woman enjoyed it or not, makes a her a skank.

    My heroine is a flesh-and-blood woman, but she's no skank.

    So should I have her evade the ex before the actual lip lock? Or maybe ought I drop the kiss altogether? I do want my protags to fight, then get back together, but maybe the issue shouldn't be this dire.
     
  2. big soft moose
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    big soft moose Active Member

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    If he really loves her then yeah he can forgive her, it might take some time and he'll be more possessive than usual for a while thereafter, but hell its only a kiss. He might be inclined to find the ex and beat the shit out of him though as forgiveness will only extend to the woman he loves, not the scuzzy ex from hell.

    It'll be a one time thing though - if she does it again the relationship will be toast.

    I speak from experience of forgiving a now ex girlfriend for getting off with a moderately famous rugby player at a party ... I didnt however forgive her when it turned out she'd been sleeping with another rugby player about 3 months later (and quite possibly the whole of the 1st and 2nd XVs and various umpires, linesmen and random spectators.... bitter ? moi ? )
     
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  3. big soft moose
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    big soft moose Active Member

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    dupe
     
  4. Sapphire at Dawn
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    Sapphire at Dawn Member

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    I forgave an ex when he indulged in about a minute's worth of sex on holiday with another girl. We'd been together for about two years at this point and were together for another two and a half years after this. It certainly helped that this was a random girl that I didn't know and knew that he'd never see again. He was also incredibly remorseful, so much so that he had a panic attack while telling me about it thinking he'd ruined everything.

    So, while I think that forgiveness in this case could happen, it'd be a rocky road and would be dependent on your character's personalities and behaviours after this point. He'd probably be more possessive and suspicious for a while after the event and I doubt he'll be happy with the rescue idea, but as long as you address these issues well enough, I don't see it being something that couldn't be overcome.
     
  5. Lea`Brooks
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    Lea`Brooks Contributing Member Contributor

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    My suggestion:

    Have her enjoy the kiss at first, then stop it almost immediately. No tongue action or passionate embrace. Just a quick, "Oh that's nice.... Wait, what? No!"

    Then, when she tells her fiance, he's more mad that she was even put in that situation. He trusts her, since she stopped the kiss, but he doesn't like her being around her ex. So he essentially tells her that he doesn't want her seeing her ex again. They argue over that, because he's her friend! She's not going to simply cut him out because of one moment of weakness. She knows it'll never happen again, but her fiance isn't so sure. But she figures that, if he trusts her, it shouldn't be an issue. He says that yes, he does trust her, but he doesn't trust him. So on, so forth.

    That's just how I saw it playing out. It would make it a little easier for you, I think, so that there was no real betrayal but still a flicker of doubt.
     
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