1. Electralight
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    Electralight Member

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    Is this good?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Electralight, Jan 6, 2016.

    Hi! I was hoping someone could tell me their thoughts on this synopsis? I don't know if I am posting this thread in the right place... but here is the synopsis: (The title of the book would be 'Candy Wrappers')


    Malia Kotter moved to Millbury to get a fresh start, but when candy wrappers start appearing in cracks and crevices of her new house, she knows something is wrong. But nobody wants to tell her what they mean, and who -or what- is leaving them. Determined to find answers, Malia is lead to Zane Towne, a mysterious boy with a hidden past. As strange things start to happen, Malia and Zane have to find the source of the candy wrappers before it finds them, or worse, before they find out the secrets of each other’s pasts.

    Thanks!!!!
     
  2. Raven484
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    Raven484 Contributing Member

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    Lol. I love posts like this. Your answer is this: It is great, and it sucks. Someone out there will read it. Some will love it, while others will put a gun in there mouths and blow their heads off.
    The real question is what do you think? If you are passionate enough about your story, you will make it succeed. Might not be a bestseller, but many people that are like-minded as you will love it.
    The only bad story is the one that is never told.
     
  3. Electralight
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    Electralight Member

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    @Raven484 thank you for the reply, I know that, I was just hoping to get some opinions from real people who are passionate about reading and writing like I am.
     
  4. Raven484
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    Raven484 Contributing Member

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    ok then, I like the idea. Its original, as far as the candy wrappers are concerned. I would like to see some words put down.
     
  5. Aster
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    The culprit isn't exactly leaving blood from a fresh kill smeared on the walls. Not even leaving dead bodies around the house. It's candy wrappers. I'm not seeing the danger or the urgency. Sure, it's creepy that someone is doing this. But I'm not exactly feeling the threat.
     
  6. Bandag
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    I have to disagree with you @Aster. Having someone enter your home and leave candy wrappers (or anything for that matter) everywhere would be super creepy.

    @Electralight , your premise gets a thumbs up from me.
     
  7. BayView
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    I think the "enter your home" has to be played up, assuming this story is meant to work with that sort of tension. (If it's a light-hearted MG, I'd recommend upping the whimsy).

    OP - what's the purpose of this summary? Are you planning to submit to agents/publishers? If so, you'll probably need to clarify between a query letter and a synopsis - this is missing some details in order to fit into either category. If you're planning to self-publish and this is your blurb, I think you're closer, but you have room to add some more details and I think it would probably be good to do so - this is a bit light as it is.
     
  8. jannert
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    My problem with your blurb hits here: As strange things start to happen,

    That is way too vague a statement to create any tension. What strange things? The wrappers turn different colours? The smell of burning chocolate starts to make ordinary dinner unappetising? Screams are heard at night? Parents die? Do people get diabetes just from looking at the wrappers....

    I think, rather than 'strange things,' you might want to be a bit more specific at that point. You don't have to give away your plot, but if this isn't something silly, make sure the readers know it.
     
    plothog likes this.
  9. Aster
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    I do believe I said it was creepy.

    The summary just fails to create a sense of relatable urgency. Yes it's creepy but it also sounds like a juvenile prank. Kids wanting to freak someone out, but not capable of murdering small animals or, you know, people, to leave around the house instead. This is like G-rated horror.

    I just don't think the general public is going to take your summary seriously.
     

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