1. Lucy E.
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    Lucy E. Contributing Member

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    Is this really the sort of thing she should be telling me?

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Lucy E., Jul 28, 2008.

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    Last edited: Jan 11, 2014
  2. Flonky
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    Flonky Member

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    I am more worried at this statement. The psychiatrist is being way too blunt and untactful - if you have self harmed, would you want someone to call you weak? I wouldn't. The fact that you are willing to talk to a bunch of strangers about it (this forum) shows that you are not weak.

    The psychiatrist talks about alcohol or violence then mentions stress balls? Sorry but thats just stupid. Alcohol and violence are very out going ways of getting rid of stress and similar things. Stress balls are very inwards and don't really tell people that you are stressed.

    In my opinion, you should ask to talk to a new psychiatrist - this one doesn't seem a very nice person or skilled at their job.

    EDIT: Please note that I am not a qualified psychiatrist.
     
  3. NaCl
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    NaCl Contributing Member Contributor

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    Perhaps she was trying to elicit a response from you. I'd suggest you confront her about her comments and see how she responds. You might discover she has a hidden agenda that could be helpful to your treatment goals.

    In Gestalt Therapy, patients are often presented with conflict and hard doses of reality. It almost seems like a mean-spirited approach to treatment, yet in comparative studies between Psychoanalysis (introspective development), Rogerian Therapy (supportive counseling) and Gestalt (confrontational), patients overwhelmingly voted Gestalt Therapists as the most effective.

    Call her, or make notes for your next meeting . . . in either case, give your therapy a chance to succeed.
     
  4. Lucy E.
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    Lucy E. Contributing Member

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  5. Shadow Dragon
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    Shadow Dragon Contributing Member Contributor

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    Cutting is not a weakness. When someone cuts, its there way of staying alive or dealing with something that is overwhelming. So from one ctter to another, please don't believe that you are truly weak. Like NaCl said, she may be trying to get you to rise up and confront her on this, but if she truly believes what she said, then you should get a new psychiatrist.
     
  6. Lucy E.
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    Lucy E. Contributing Member

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  7. Flonky
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    Flonky Member

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    What, so she isn't qualified? Who referred you to this student who is obviously inexperienced at this line of work?

    Wait a sec...

    ...great, you got me all confused 'cos you changed your avatar. ;)
     
  8. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I suspect that she used the term weak in order to piss you off. Cutting, like alcohol or aggression, is a dysfunctional way of dealing with stress - I hope I'm not being too blunt in saying that - and getting your anger up may be a way to get the emotions involving it to the surface.

    Psychiatrists and other therapists needn't always wear the soft fuzzy gloves to be effective. Sometimes it's better to make the client uncomfortable or even angry.

    My mother was a psychiatric social worker, so I have seen some of the less gentle side of the profession, both with her and with her circle of colleagues.

    Give this one a chance. Shopping for a therapist who you feel comfortable with may not be the best choice for making progress.
     
  9. Amphisbaena
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    Amphisbaena Member

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    Damn Cogito if you ain't got some sense about you.
    You an I are agreeing one hundred percent here.
     
  10. sfr
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    It's important to remember that therapists are people too. While I believe their is a great deal of corruption in prescribing drugs, many psychologists are good. It's a sounding wall that can help you a lot. I don't think a therapist should always have soft fuzzy gloves but saying your weak seems out of line, and I don't understand that alcohol violence thing either. I would probably not go with her in the future. Good luck with your issues, work on them everyday and it will get better.
     
  11. SonnehLee
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    SonnehLee Contributing Member Contributor

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    Another thing you may want to consider, your psychiatrist may not have those experiences, and so, in all realty, she may not know exactly what to say. I was told that exact same thing, though, not by a psychiatrist. If I were you, I wouldn't try to dwell on it too much.
     
  12. Crimson Threnody
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    Crimson Threnody Senior Member

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    Self-harming isn't as much as weak as it is wrong. I mean, you can't be weak to inflict pain upon yourself, but it is the wrong outlet. Talk to your parents about what she said, perhaps finding a new counselor would be a good idea.

    Even if you aren't religious, a Christian counselor or psychiatrist would probably be in your best interest. They aren't looking to force their views, but they would be the most likely to *not* give advice like your current.
     
  13. Lucy E.
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    Lucy E. Contributing Member

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  14. FantasyWitch
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    I think your psychiatrist needs a psychiatrist!
    That isn't something you say to a patient! I had about three psychiatrists just like this woman you are discribing until I found my perfect person to talk to.
    Self-harming... not good. But being talked to like that is just going to make you worse.


    That ^ made me raging.
    What is becoming of understanding?! I had this situation (kinda) when I was at school. I had a miscarriage and became exceptionally suicidal and told one of my mates, who in turn told a teacher (I thank her for it now trust me). Now I liked this teacher and understood she had to tell the schools social worker. Fair enough. But then i was threatened that either I tell my parents in front of my year head and school nurse or they would take me into care because my mum was obviously a "bad parent."

    *sigh*

    Sorry for the rant but yeah I completly understand the miffed-ness.
    Personally I woul have decked her... but that is just your friendly neighbourhood FW's way with horrible people like that. And it's probably not a road that you should take ;)

    Report this biaaatch to your regular psych and see if there is anything she can do about this.
     
  15. Heather Louise
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    Heather Louise Contributing Member Contributor

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    I agree with the calling you "weak" part, unfrotunatly Lucy. Now I am not saying that you are nessesarily weak or anything, but self harming isn't good, and if being pushed a little bit is what it takes to show that student psychiatrist that you aren't weak and can stop harming yourself, then it is worth it. Sometimes the best form of teaching is a form of bullying, I have learned that myself over the years. The only reason I have stuck with taking Geography is 'cos the teacher is a prick to me, and I want to show him I can get good marks and make something of myself, and that he was wrong.

    Ad for her saying that it is a worse sollution than drinking and violence, that is a stupid suggestion, you should learn to handle your emotions without anything that is going to harm yourself, as in the end, directly self harming, violence and alcohol abust is going to harm you aswell. A stress ball, perhaps. I have found myself that they are a bag of wank, but each to their own I guess. Try it, see if it works.

    If you want a siggestion for how to solve your self harming problems, whenever I feel like harming myself, I either pick up a Harry Potter book (yes, childish I know but that is what has gotten me through the last six years of my life), or I write something. Bot work a lot of the time at the moment, and stop me hurting myself, and usually cam me back down after a little while also.

    If you ever want to talk Lucy, send a PM or something, 'cos I'm always here to talk to. :)
    Heather
     
  16. Silver Random
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    It wasnt an encouragement to do those instead, it was a comparison with other problems people have... ;\

    Personally i dont really see why anyone would be surprised that they are saying that. Are you expecting them to say, "self harming is good, it shows you are strong." No. Maybe they are expected to sugar coat things a bit more though, i wouldnt know.

    Chances are it was just blunt to just try to provoke a response or, better yet, prove yourself by stopping? Seems a pretty simple technique to try though, and it looks like mentioning drinking and violence was a mistake as it could be misinterpreted, which i suppose makes sense if they are a student.
     
  17. britishcleo
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    britishcleo New Member

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    I realize it's a little late now since you're going to be able to see your regular psych now, but...

    Ignore the statement about you being weak. I strongly believe (and you're free to disagree) that the scars we have on our bodies don't tell us that we're weak. They are a story of what we have gone through in life and LIVED through. Many people that haven't cut before don't understand that. Obviously, cutting is not the answer, take it from someone that hasn't in a few years, so definately DEFINATELY continue therapy. It will help.
    As for the physical, I've been threatened with that too before, and it's terrifying.

    I would definately talk to your regular psych. about what happened, and maybe they can give you some insight into what the other person was trying to do...

    I hope things get better, and if you need anything, just PM me.

    *Disclaimer: I am not certified, etc. Don't sue me... :D*
     
  18. Lucy E.
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    Lucy E. Contributing Member

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  19. Risen Glory
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    I think that your psychiatrist is a quack. I mean, the one who said all that bullshyte.

    The problem with her is that she sees you as some monster who likes to harm herself, when she should be viewing you as an insecure--I don't know if I should say that, but I think many insecure people go to see psychiatrists... sorry if I'm not accurate--scared human being.

    All I think I can say to you is.... keep faith, and keep strong. Like one person said here, I think Christian psychiatrists--I'm not talking about those 'Christians' who are like the everyday normal person, but the Christian who you can SEE is different--or someone compassionate is the way to go for you.

    Remember: Don't let others tell you you're weak or who you are. Decide for youself. Always.

    Keep strong. Stay strong. Live strong.
     
  20. britishcleo
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    britishcleo New Member

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    My suggestion is definately continue with therapy. Don't give up now just because of one stupid person. Don't run away, as much as you may feel you need to. Life CAN get better. It took me a very long time to see this, but it CAN!

    Yeah, when my psych threatened to do the physical, she also threatened that she would commit me, (seriously??!!) if I didn't "pass" or whatever. So, I have an idea where you're coming from...

    Having a bad psych or even appointment can be devistating, especially if there's more than one in a row...
    I guess right now the only thing I can suggest is don't give up. Talk to people if you need to, do whatever can distract you so that hopefully the cutting isn't so bad. If writing, listening to music, doing some exercise, ANYTHING will help, go for it.
    We're all here for you...
     
  21. Lucy E.
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    Lucy E. Contributing Member

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