1. Skralo
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    Skralo Member

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    Is this too much?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Skralo, May 18, 2008.

    I know I've been a bit of a pain in the rear but I've gotten alot of good advice from these forums. So thank you to all. But I need your help again. This is my plot so far:

    Skralo, Lily and Alex are the gardians of the Essence (life.) Skralo has power over Fire, Lily has power over water and Alex has power over Air. These three people are pure (but not as in perfect in every way.) Where as the Eternal has power over darkness and pain. Like the Gardians being pure the Eternal is Impure. He is trying to steal the Essence to create an army of darkness to take over the world and bring darkness to the universe. But before this happens he tempts Skralo with powe and taints his heart with evil and he helps the Eternal with his conquest for the Essence. But Lily and Alex bring him back to the right side using the power of the Essence and they have a big fight right across the Earth and in the end the Eternal is shut into a void and thought not to be able to come back

    Is this too much? Because this is what I hope will be the first of many books I was wondering about how much I should do...

    All advice and help greatly appreciated...

    Skralo...
     
  2. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Personally, as soon as I saw any phrase like this (outside of a comedy), I would put the book back on the bookstore shelf, or in the dustbin.

    It's just way, way, WAY over the top. But I don't care for good/evil fantasies particularly. All bash, slash, and flash, and no believable characters.
     
  3. Mousie
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    Mousie Contributing Member

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    I agree with Cogito, but that's just me. Um, and Cogito :redface:

    Why is Skralo the only one with a cool name? And why does the Eternal want to "bring darkness to the universe"? What would he gain from that?
     
  4. tehuti88
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    tehuti88 Contributing Member

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    A good way to counter the issues raised above would be to take a closer look at the motives of the antagonist/bad guy. Instead of just wanting to take over the world and plunge it into darkness for evil's sake, etc. etc., give it a reason to do this. And not just because it's the evil thing to do and that's of course what an evil character WOULD do. Most "evil" people don't really believe themselves evil--they really believe that their way is the right and "good" way.

    As was already asked, what does the antagonist have to gain from these actions? Would the reader have any reason to sympathize with the antagonist if their needs aren't met? If the "darkness" is tainted with light, that makes it all the more believable as a bad guy...and all the more interesting.

    The detail regarding powers over specific elements seems kind of cliche to me, but I write about elemental powers, so I'm hardly in any position to complain. :/ But yes, why a name like "Skralo" and then two normal names...?
     
  5. Daniel W
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    Daniel W Member

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    As cogito said, don't make him want to just plunge the world into darkness. Perhaps the eternal was once good, but got a taste of power, and soon became addicted to gaining more power. Now he has lots of power, but he wants the power of the 3 characters mentioned in your first post.
    Maybe you could make the plot of those three characters trying to protect each other, and the essence. By doing this, they need to destroy the eternal. That would make the plot more interesting, and not the same old someone being really evil, because he's not really that evil, he's just driven by his addiction for power.
     
  6. Skralo
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    Skralo Member

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    Thanks you all for the feed back.

    Right to get straight in. I didn't say this in my first post so here goes. The Eternal is a beining of impurity meaning that he was created from dark emotions. Pain, anger, depression, dispair and so on. He wants to take over the Earth so as to creat more of these emotions to give him the power to over throw the Gardians and use the Essence to create more of himself. His goal is to take over all living matter and use it to create (deamons sounds a bit odd and over used, what could I use here?)

    As for Skralo. Skralo has always been my main character (I've been planning this book for over 3 years and the plot and genere always keeps changing.) But Skralo being the only cool name, well I can't really think of anything else... ;)

    Hope this answered your questions...

    Skralo...
     
  7. Smithy
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    Smithy Senior Member

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    You still might want to consider giving the eternal some semblance of a good side.
     
  8. MumblingSage
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    MumblingSage Contributing Member

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    That's sword and sorcery. Truly good fantasy wtih good and evil acutally explores them as a concept.
     
  9. Ocheel
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    Ocheel New Member

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    Isnt the controlling of the elements a little Cliche?
     
  10. Marcelo
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    Marcelo Contributing Member

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    Cog, You don't care of good/evil fantasy? I think the concept of Dualism is a good one, and when combined with epic struggles and believable characters, a good story is created. That means... U don't like LOTR? :eek:
     
  11. Smithy
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    Smithy Senior Member

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    I think a lot of people dislike the black and white morality aspect of good/evil fantasy. The way I tried to get around this, and deal with the increasing moral ambiguity of my characters' actions, was to have most of my characters, hero and villain alike, see everything in stark black and white terms (while the few characters who see the moral nuances tend to be self serving and either unpleasant or manipulative) while both being blind to the fact that they are actually committing great wrongs in the process of serving thier cause. And neither side ever really gets called on it, except by the aforementioned unpleasant and manipulative people.
     
  12. edens garden
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    edens garden Senior Member

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    Skralo, I think the plot idea could use a bit fleshing out. One thing i would suggest you consider is this: if the elements/ruling forces of the world are going to engage in this epic battle how is it going to effect the rest of the world and its inhabitants? It is like a story where heaven and hell fight for earth, but no one ever says what exactly is happing here. I think you should find a way to make the reader feel like they are connected to what is happening on an individual scale, not as if they are viewing the fate of a world, similar to a kid with an ant farm.

    And if you need help finding more unique names, just let me know. I have several page lists of names from just about anywhere.
     
  13. Skralo
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    Skralo Member

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    Thanks for the advie ;) will do.
     

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