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  1. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    Judges orders mother of 10 month old to stop breastfeeding

    Discussion in 'Debate Room' started by erebh, Nov 14, 2013.

    http://blog.sfgate.com/sfmoms/2013/11/14/pennsylvania-judge-orders-woman-to-stop-breastfeeding/#15728101=0

    I saw this on the news last night. A judge has ordered a mother of a ten month baby to stop breastfeeding so her estranged partner can have custody for two days a week. She says the baby won't take a bottle so on the two days he is meant to have the baby he can't feed her. She also says she can't express two days worth of milk to keep the child going in her absence. The World Health Organisation have recommended all mothers should at least try breastfeed while formula is a last option. The judge said he will have the baby in care if she does not bottle-feed the baby.

    I'm surprised this is the first time I have heard of such a case - what do you guys think? Should she express enough to keep the baby going even if it means she visits the baby up to 10 times with fresh milk over the two days in the father's custody? Is she just using this as an excuse the punish the father? Should the baby have been introduced to alternative nutrition sources before now? Is she right and the judge is a douche? (Douche the word being used in the article to describe the judge). What do you think of the father? The article says he should be ashamed but is he just exercising his rights as a dad in a day when fathers all over the world are abusing their responsibilities?
     
  2. thirdwind
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    thirdwind Contributing Member Contest Administrator Reviewer Contributor

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    I'm sure there's a way to work around all this. Maybe have the father take the child for a few hours each day instead of the whole day.

    Actually, I'm not even sure when babies are supposed to stop being breastfed. Is there an agreed upon age in the medical community?
     
  3. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    From the article:
    The World Health Organization recommends that a woman exclusively breastfeed until a child reaches six months, and then start solids, while continuing to nurse until 2 years. Moser’s daughter, Jasmine, should be eating an array of solid foods in addition to her mother’s milk at this point.
     
  4. Fitzroy Zeph
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    Fitzroy Zeph Contributing Member Contributor

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    Sounds like another dysfunctional couple story. They need to talk so the kid gets the best outcome, not them. They're both dick-wads for letting go to court, one more than the other.
     
  5. JJ_Maxx
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    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    I think we are missing a few facts in the case and a lot of the hype generated by the story is because of the emotional nature of both divorce, custody, breast-feeding and the steretype of 'dead-beat' fathers.

    We don't know how rigid the fathers schedule needs to be, or what other time slots he could find.

    As the story says, the baby should be eating a mixture of breastmilk/formula and solid foods by now. This very well could be a case where the mother is just using this as an excuse to prevent the father from seeing the baby.

    The main issues are:

    The baby should remain healthy, which doesn't preclude formula, according to research.
    The baby should be able to have a relationship with both parents.

    It seems that the judge didn't say, 'stop breastfeeding' as much as he said, 'you have to make accomodations for the father.' which she may not want to do.
     
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  6. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    My son wouldn't take a bottle of pumped breast milk the first 8 hours he was in day care, then he caved. It's just a matter of waiting them out, most of the time, not a harm to the kid.

    As for can't express 2 days worth, meh, you pump the two days the kid is not there. If you are that fanatical the child not get a drop of formula, then deliver the milk.

    At 10 months, I think the dad deserves overnight time with the child. Children have a right to the love of both parents unless one of the parents isn't safe or competent. Mom needs to get over it for the sake of her child.
     
  7. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    You don't know if they are both dick-wads, could be one or both. Sometimes it only takes one.
     
  8. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    Unless your milk comes out by the gallons, a kid at 6 months is often not satisfied by just milk. I had to give my son solid food at 4 months. It was shocking. He went from waking up every couple hours to sleeping the night through with just a little cereal.
     
  9. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    Should the judge have the right to go against the WHO and demand she stop nursing or should he have ordered she introduce the child to solids?

    In this case the dad is just exercising his rights and she's the dick-wad?

    Like JJ said we don't about the father but we can assume he's not a junkie or felon from the fact she would have thrown that into the mix.
     
  10. Fitzroy Zeph
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    Fitzroy Zeph Contributing Member Contributor

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    If a court has to decide a breast feeding issue, they are both dick-wads.
     
  11. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    How is the father a dick-wad? He just wants to see his baby, he didn't order the judge to make that command.
     
  12. JJ_Maxx
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    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    Do we have any indication that the judge ordered such a thing? It could be that the judge told her she had to give the father visitation and the mother translated it as, 'the judge ordered me to stop breastfeeding.'
     
  13. chicagoliz
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    chicagoliz Contributing Member Contributor

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    Generally, they breastfeed for a year, so we're not even talking about that much time. Now, of course, there are some people who breastfeed until the kid is old enough to walk up to mom and unbutton her blouse himself. But pretty soon the kid will start to get more of his nutrients from food than from milk/formula or whatever.
     
  14. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    I can't find the court transcript, just a gazillion sites quoting the mother in the video. If she's lying about the judge's words it won't go down well next time she has to appear - will she take that chance by lying to the world's press now?
     
  15. JJ_Maxx
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    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    I think it happened like this:

    Father wants two days visitation.
    Mother says she can't do that AND continue to breastfeed.
    Judge agrees with the father and orders visitation.
    Mother goes to the news and says the judge ordered her to stop breastfeeding.
     
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  16. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    so she's a lying piece of crap who's using their child as a weapon against him? Maybe the judge should give her 2 days a week custody...
     
  17. GingerCoffee
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    I do believe you are confusing stopping for a 2 day dad visit with stopping altogether, and I don't think WHO says exclusively breast milk no solids at 10 months old so I'm not sure what you are talking about.

    In third world countries with contaminated water supplies, formula is a hazard because it gets mixed with unclean water. The WHO guidelines stem from the history of unethical marketing (Nestles was the biggest infamous culprit) of baby formula in third world markets, telling mothers that modern formula was superior to their milk which then resulted in millions of fatalities due to the bad water the formula was mixed with.

    The WHO guideline has nothing in it that says a mother can use the issue to manipulate visitation rights.
     
  18. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'm not confusing anything, I'm taking the girl's on video statement that the judge told her to stop breastfeeding and get the kid on solids or he would have the child taken off her.

    With regards the WHO's guidelines/advice, if you read back you'll see I quoted the article. If the article is wrong, take it up with the newspaper that wrote it. Please look elsewhere for a row. I haven't once put my own thoughts into this thread, I've only asked questions and raised awareness.
     
  19. GingerCoffee
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    It's a safe assumption the news account has some of the details wrong; a 10 month old should be on solids plus milk, regardless of what the woman said the judge ordered and it is very likely there are other explanations and options besides weaning one's child; and I know the history of the WHO and breastfeeding guidelines (see Nestle's baby formula controversy).

    So if you are saying you are just the messenger, my opinion is not changed.

    Does the child not deserve a relationship with the father? Should the father abandon the child for the sake of some breast milk guideline that is being applied without consideration of individual circumstances? Do you accept a one-sided story as likely undistorted truth?
     
  20. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    I would have expected myself to be wholeheartedly on the mother's side. Breastfeeding, when it's possible, is the best thing for the child, with lifelong health benefits. This child is more than a year away from the end of the time that breastfeeding has value. This situation could make breastfeeding no longer possible, not just during those two days, but permanently--not all breastfeeding mothers can switch to exclusively pumping, and not all children can switch back and forth between breast and bottle. Regular interruptions could result in the milk no longer flowing.

    Despite all that, I'm getting a vibe that I don't like from the various websites writing in support of the mother. And I find myself seriously doubting that the judge actually said, "Stop breastfeeding!" as opposed to "Find a way to make it work!" I'd like to see a transcript. Yes, there may not *be* a way to make it work (that is, for overnights--there needs to be a way to "make it work" for the father to get lots of daytime time with the child if overnights are impractical for a little longer), but all the same, I feel as if facts are being sculpted here.
     
  21. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'm not accepting the girl's story as the complete truth at all and you'll see from my OP, yours are more or less the same questions I asked.
     
  22. Fitzroy Zeph
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    Fitzroy Zeph Contributing Member Contributor

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    It's the absurdity of the situation. I've since read through some of the other theories about how this might have actually transpired and some of them make some sense.

    He's a dick-wad because he couldn't figure out what kind of woman he was with before having a baby with her.
     
  23. Jack Asher
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    Jack Asher Wildly experimental Contributor

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    I'm not sure, with a name like Fitzroy, you should be casting aspirations on other people family planning techniques.
     
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  24. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    It's the absurdity of this post; you have no idea as to their relationship. He could have met her one night in a bar and that was it till he found out she was pregnant and now he wants to stick by his child for all you know.


    How old are you? I thought there was a minimum age on this forum?
    I hope you meet the perfect woman and she remains that till you both leave this planet.
     
  25. Jack Asher
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    Jack Asher Wildly experimental Contributor

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    ***Psst!***
    No one tell him. Fitz is a german prefix meaning "bastard of". His name literally means "Roy's bastard".
     
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