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  1. coral reef
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    coral reef Banned

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    AUSSIE! AUSSIE! AUSSIE!

    kids having kids

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by coral reef, Apr 20, 2007.

    id like everyones thoughts on this, alough im not sure if this subject has been posted before, well here it is anyway.

    what do you think about the youth of the world, having babies, some out of shear stupidity and lack of protection, some out of unfortunate circumstances such as rape, and some for the soul purpose of that famous ' baby bonus'.

    it saddend me actually, and each point is arguable, for instance
    lack of protection: some young ones out there are so naive and eager to be 'cool' and 'popular', that they believe having sex as soon as they realise what it is seems like the most awesome thing to do ever, and oh what a shame i dont have a condom handy and my mom doesnt care anyway.... and tell all their mates about and brag and be envied and oh god the joys of being young.
    but then you have to take into concideration, the lack of diciplin, the lack of education, and the lack of support there is for the younger generation these days,most of them dont know any better!

    anyway, your thoughts please
     
  2. Sayso
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    Sayso Contributing Member

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    I think a lot of it is to do with peer pressure as you say. I hate to see youngsters throwing their lives away by getting pregnant so young. For some it seems like the easy ticket into housing and not having to work but they don't realise how much harder it is to have children, not physically but emotionally too. The worst thing in the world is when that child becomes ill and there's nothing you can do about it. It tears you apart. A lot of people don't see that though and only see some twisted glamorous side to having children.

    Saying that though there are occassions when teenagers marry young and then go on to have children (or the other way around) and successful marriages. I just don't think it works for the norm like this. Some people have a lot of growing up to do before they should go out and start a family.

    Also I feel that children have no idea where they want their life to go and so perhaps see having kids as a get out clause for going out there and finding out what they want to do with their lives. Unfortunately by the time they know what they want to do they can't because they have children to think about first.

    Just my opinion.:( Please respect it.
     
  3. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    Having children is not throwing your life away no matter what age you are. Age has nothing to do with it in my opinion, what people should be more concerned about is people who do not take care of their children properly...
    People who send their kids outside all day and ignore them, that dump their kids every chance they get so they can go out and have fun.
    You know I have met a lot of young mothers and they do a darn fine job at raising their children so why should they be critisised for that.

    Also it is not just young people going after that rediculous baby bonus, or just having kids because they are too stupid to use protection and to get out of going to work.

    In my opinion teen mothers can do just as good a job as an out of teen mother can. It isn't age that matters, it is the level of maturity and whether the particular female is able to cope and take care of a baby.

    If they have a child they have a child, it is not our right to judge them for having children in their teen years, we should be there for them to help them out in any way we can not shun them for it, in the end it is not going to change things or help.

    ~Torana
     
  4. Raven
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    Raven Banned

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    Thats very true.

    Sadly though many youngsters who have kids do tend to Not look after them hence many of them having social services on their backs.

    We can't stop youngsters having kids but what should be done is a lot more to help them.
    Over here in the UK Child care centres are ridculously high on expense so those that do find jobs carry on with their school work struggle to maintain a good living when these child care centres charge way too much. Don't get me wrong in some cases they do get help with payments from the government but not always and thus young single mothers end up struggling and been unable to go to work and earn a good living because they can't afford too. Yet on benefits they really only get a pittance of what they could have.

    Its unfair and it happens but I have to agree with Torano on this don't condem youngsters for having children at an early age.
     
  5. Alice in Wonderland
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    Alice in Wonderland Contributing Member

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    Lack of education? If I was told as a kid "Use a condom or some other form of contraception or you will get pregnant, get an STD or give someone else an STD" I sure wouldn't argue. D= Who needs more education than that really? If you want to test the warning, go ahead it's your own damned fault. Enjoy life with your kid while all your friends are still living out their teenagerhood. Looks like you missed out all because you thought it would be cool to have unprotected sex...

    :s

    /rant.
     
  6. Kit
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    Kit Contributing Member Contributor

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    I think that this is quite a broad argument and it must be remembered that no two people are exactly the same, and neither are their situations.

    Yes, there are people out there who have underage sex and there are those that do it protected and those that don't. However, some people are ready and do understand the risks - sadly these are the people that already do use protection. On the one hand, you could say that more education might help the matter but then there are always those that choose to ignore the advice on hand, those who say "it won't happen to me" or who try to be 'cool'. Personally, I don't think that getting pregnant "accidentally" is cool at all... but i'll leave that there.

    Other people actually want to start a family young and make a pretty darn good job of it. Not everyone out there has a kid to sponge of the Government, though I can't deny that there are those that do. I know young people with children who do a better job of raising them than some people in there 20s or even 30s... age doesn't dictate what type of mother or even father you'll be. I feel its down to your maturity and how prepared you are.

    Its always bin argued that young people have babies and then leave it to their parents to look after it and still with their support discontinue their education, but this isn't always the case either. There are many childcare provisions made now (and my only regret here is that they should be made more freely available to older parents also) and it is more than possible that you can study and raise your child - providing it with a better future by doing so.

    The people I feel sorry for really are the unlucky ones that are old enough to have sex, know about contraception, use it and find that it hasn't worked. Then find themselves without the support of their boyfriend, family or friends. Out in the world on their own at a difficult time and no matter what people think the amount that a young mother gets from the government isn't enough to raise a child well unless she's working too. Something thats difficult at say 16/17 with no support.

    I hate fathers that don't accept there responsibility - we don't make babies by ourselves. (Before i get flamed I am aware that there are plenty of men out there that wouldn't abandon a person if they got them in this situation...)

    Anways those are my very long and considered thoughts
     
  7. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    what part of the world are you all talking about?... babies are born all over the planet, you know... not just in the so-called most 'civilized' parts of it...

    and consider history... how old were your great-grandmothers when they first gave birth?... and theirs?
     
  8. Twili
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    Twili New Member

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    There was this girl that I used to be best friends with and she the same age as me maybe a little bit younger but she's recently become pregnant. I think its kinda a sad thing because I know she didn't want it to happen. Then another one of my friends has been bragging about her and her boyfriend having sex.
    Me personally I don't think doing junk like that is to smart. Me I'd perfer to be much older and famous before I had kids.
    Thats just my oppion though, its just so terrible seeing all these people my age in school having to kids and kinda ruinning their life but its their decision.
     
  9. Jaclyn
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    Jaclyn Active Member

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    I somwhat agree. Although having children at a young age will evidently place all other personal aspirations aside; including career goals. I severely doubt the majority of young individuals have already achieved a career where in they are earning a suitable income.

    By having a child at a young age I don't believe you are necessarily throwing your entire life away, but you are placing your life at risk because you are forced to put many vital opportunities on the back burner.

    Money is a very important subject to consider when you are creating a family.
     
  10. Domoviye
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    Domoviye Contributing Member

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    Well said.

    I know that girls who become mothers at 14 can still go to college, get a career, and have a bit of fun. But its a lot easier to do all of that without the kid.
    A lot of girls I knew in high school had kids, I've lost track of most of them, but I do know that most of them didn't end up going to higher education.

    Edit: Maia, my grandmothers had kids when they were in their early twenties. I believe that their mothers did the same. I do know they all waited until they were married before they had kids.
     
  11. Frost
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    Frost Contributing Member

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    Well done on bringing nothing to the conversation.

    Times change love. This isn't the 1800's anymore.

    Anyway, teenage birth rates around the regions where I live are highest in aboriginal girls - girls that are either sexually abused or simply not encouraged to use contraception. Alot of the aboriginal communities around these parts are full of violence, petrol-sniffing and alcohol, which can all contribute to someone making a decision to not use contraception. What I'm trying to say is that there is two sides to every coin - not every teenage mother/father was someone who tried to hard to be cool. Sometimes they dont get a choice.

    Dont be so quick to judge yo :)
     
  12. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    most of you are a generation or two younger than me, which is why i asked about your 'great'-grandmothers, who may have had kids at a younger age... if yours didn't, it doesn't mean they were the rule... in many places/countries farm girls and those in rural communities often did give birth in their early teens...

    i don't think any thinking person would call bringing a historical and global perspective to a narrowly-focused discussion, 'nothing'...

    you may have a reading comprehension problem... i never said they don't... or that it is...

    yo!... who's doing the only judging here???
     
  13. Domoviye
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    Domoviye Contributing Member

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    True, many did plan to have children early, and still do in other countries. But again, most of them are married or at least betrothed. And most of those rural communities, and my grandmother, and great grandmothers, use a lot of child labour, unlike the industrialized world.
    A child in a poor country, especially in rural areas, is after the age of 5, seen as a potential worker. They're still loved and cared for, but they bring resources into the family.
    In North America children don't bring resources into the family until they are adults.
    So a fifteen year old girl in North America is going to see her, and her parents time, money, and energy going to support the child. Instead of going into her education, and future career. Again they can accomplish it, but its hard.
    So how is this a good thing?
     
  14. Frost
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    Frost Contributing Member

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    True, but any thinking person would also know that this isn't what you did. You just stated the obvious.

    Ok, so if you didn't say they don't why the hell does what our great-grandmothers were doing back in the olden days matter to us now? That was then, this is now, like I said, times change, and so now it's not exactly the norm for people to be having kids at 15/16(at least in Western civilisation). My great-grandmother had her first child at 17, so yes, they did have their kid's young, but that doesn't matter anymore.

    Can you suggest to me where in this thread I've judged anyone?
     
  15. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    ...that is 'judging'... making it clear that you think whoever you aimed that at, is...

    and i don't come here to argue, so will not respond to any more of your posts, since you seem to want to continue to do so...

    i'll leave you all to discuss the subject and offer my apologies to the OP, for my post having inadvertantly sparked the hijacking of his/her thread...

    love and hugs, maia
     
  16. coral reef
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    coral reef Banned

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    no apologies needed maia, ive only been here a short while and ive viewed many threads, and this same person seems to enjoy popping in and trying to make other members feel small and unworthy.
    very uncool
     
  17. wordwizard
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    wordwizard Contributing Member

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    *WARNING : rant

    I am 22 and my daughter is 4. I had her at a young age and wouldnt change it for a thing. I grew up fast but what did i loose out on? partying? did enough of that.....more education?...I can still do that......hmmmm frollicking in town with the girls....last time i checked- I still do that.......hmmmmm what else guys....? I am not sure what it was that made me have sex at an earlier age but dont lie to me and tell me you havent done it at an early age because thats bull- any one who doesnt think it happens every minute of the day is nieve. If I had to choose a reason it would definetly be pressure to just get it over with(how romantic lol) but not because everyone else was doing it....just not my style.

    *Did you know that your body is meant to have children at an early age?

    Just so you all know..me and my guy(the father) actually have a successful buisness that makes us alot of money so we dont rely on social services like some of you think. People are so quick to judge us because we are young but I feel that we are better off than a lot of the people who are doing the judging.
     
  18. Raven
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    Raven Banned

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    Well said wordwizard. its not the end of the world when youngsters have children. I have 3 kids and a fourth on the way. I wasted much of my youth and i didn't have my first daughter until i was 21. So having kids at an early age does not mean you've lost out. I wasted my youth Ok now Im in the army and live a good life with my wife three kids and next on the way. I have worked hard and achieved alot.
    I'm hoping to be stationed on the Falklands next year, simply because I've done enough tours in places i wont mention but The point is even if you do have a child early you can still achieve so much just sometimes its a little further down the line and sometimes its not.
    Just remember many of you/us have wasted a good portion of our youth when we could be have done much more and thats without having kids. Kids if anything are a blessing and for the good can do so much more for a persons self respect and if anything i think raising kids is a lesson and achievement in itself.




    ~Raven.
     
  19. wordwizard
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    wordwizard Contributing Member

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    HERE HERE! *wildly cheers*

    I do realize as well that everyones situation is different(as said before) but after having children there is so much more to life, and very often motivates you to become more in life. So in a wierd way...children can actually be a great motivator for becoming successful and having a full life.
     
  20. Alice in Wonderland
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    Alice in Wonderland Contributing Member

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    Wordwizard, just a little thing, I don't think 18 is a young age to have sex. It's quite young to have a child but if that worked out for you then well done. I'm truely happy for you. ^^
     
  21. Heather Louise
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    Heather Louise Contributing Member Contributor

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    i disagree with that. i am a smart lass, i get good grades in school and i could go on to collage and hopefully university and do really good things (if i put in the effort, lol.) it would be a waste if i were to not do any of that and have a child instead. some women are best looking after children, fair enough, but personally i would not be, i would much rather be out working, or learning. so to me, me having a child this young is a waste.
    Heather
     
  22. Night Haunter
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    Night Haunter Banned

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    I totally disagree with you and find it alittle insulting.
    Having a child young is not a problem you can still get a damn good education and follow on to get a good career. its the person who thinks having kids burdens you to do nothing who knows nothing. Some of the most successful people had their kids young and live productive lifes.
     
  23. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    thanks coral!... i had to wonder...

    love and grateful hugs, maia
     
  24. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    I so totally agree with you night haunter. I have known so many young mothers who had no plans for there future what so ever before having kids and their lives were suddenly turned around when their baby was born and went on to study and get degrees and live extremely well lives.

    As for young mothers not taking care of their kids, it is not just the young mothers it is older mothers as well. I have seen 30 year old mothers who can't take care of their kids and have them taken off of them, so why label only young mothers this way, that is not fair.

    I was 20 when I had my son and 22 when I had my daughter, my sisters both had theirs by the time they were 19 and we have all done fine jobs with our children. My mother had her first in her teens and so did her mother.

    You can't sit back and say young mothers are this and young mothers are that. When age is not the factor here, it is the maturity as far as I am concerned.

    Sorry if my opinions offend anyone, t'was not my intensions.

    ~Torana
     
  25. lady therese
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    lady therese New Member

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    These kids needs support. The last thing that they need are very judgmental comments from other people. Let us give them love....
     

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