1. aimi_aiko
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    aimi_aiko Contributing Member

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    Kindness, Politeness and Appreciation

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by aimi_aiko, Dec 23, 2013.

    This thread has been inspired by mammamia's response in my "Happy Holidays?" thread.

    She said (paraphrased) "as an atheist who does not observe holidays, if I am wished a Merry Christmas I respond by telling the person I do not observe the holidays but thank you, and in turn I wish they enjoy theirs'"

    I was very moved by this, maybe more than I should've been. The politeness, kindness and appreciation that we show others really brightens my spirits. I am not a fan of rude people, who is? But the fact that someone takes the time out of their day to express kindness to others really makes me happy.

    I wish these values were found in everyone, but I know they are not. So I would like to take some time out of my day to show appreciation for those of you who are kind hearted souls and go out of your way to help others or to brighten someone's day. Thank you.
     
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  2. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    Is it necessary to inform others by stating your personal views first? How about a 'thanks and same to you'?
     
  3. Wyr
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    Wyr Active Member

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    We really don't know the context in which mammamia was explaining her response. While your version might be a more efficient response for someone you just met once for a few minutes and will never see again (like a cashier in a store for example,) I really don't see any harm in her explaining her beliefs to a new acquaintance. It keeps the scenario from repeating itself and might save on awkwardness down the line.

    Either way, what's the harm of someone expressing their beliefs, no matter what they are?
     
  4. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    There's no harm in it. There's really no good in it either, in my opinion, and I guess if there's no point, why say it.
     
  5. obsidian_cicatrix
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    obsidian_cicatrix I ink, therefore I am. Contributor

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    I'm not a Christian but especially at this time of year, I'd rather celebrate the similarities, than point out the differences.

    Still, I agree @aimi_aiko. Kind people make my day. I hope those that show me kindness realise how much I appreciate them. (And those that tell me when I'm being an ass, too, for that matter.;))
     
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  6. aimi_aiko
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    aimi_aiko Contributing Member

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    THIS THREAD IS NOT REVOLVED AROUND HER RESPONSE!!!

    It inspired my thread. I am just showing my appreciation for kind people. That is all.
     
  7. JJ_Maxx
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    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    To me kindness revolves around sacrifice. When you stop to help someone change a flat tire, you are sacrificing your time and energy and probably your clothes. When you donate to charities, you are sacrificing your money. Kindess involves giving to others at the expense of yourself.

    When someone wishes you a Merry Christmas, they are happy because they are celebrating something important to them. Just because you don't personally celebrate the holiday doesn't mean you can't share in the happiness of whatever they are happy about.

    As I said in the other thread, if someone comes up to me and tells me it's their birthday, I'm not going to say, 'Well, it's not my birthday and I have nothing to celebrate, but I hope you enjoy yours.'

    Just my thoughts. What high ground do you lose by wishing someone a happy celebration regardless if you personally celebrate it or not?
     
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  8. MLM
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    MLM Banned for trolling

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    About atheism specifically, in this society it is worth the trouble to remind people that atheists exist and that we're nice folk for the general purpose of normalizing atheism in a largely theist culture. So the caveat isn't without its usefulness, tho I've never actually bothered to do anything like that. It's small spuds.
     
  9. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    which is exactly why i say what i do...

    good question... i don't see what purpose garball's continued disagreement served other than as a put-down of my personal way of handling the 'holiday wishes' issue...
     
  10. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    Not putting you down, just disagreeing. Take it as you will. I see it as the same as this:
    -
    Maia: "Good afternoon, garball"

    Garball: "I always put my left shoe on first, no matter what. Every hour in the day is equally important to me. I hope you are enjoying this time of day, though.​
    -
    We just talk differently, that's all.
    Anywho, I hope you enjoy the times it takes for the earth to make one full revolution on its vertical axis shortly after the winter solstice.
     
  11. Fitzroy Zeph
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    Fitzroy Zeph Contributing Member Contributor

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    It's a no harm statement. If the person on the receiving end takes it the wrong way, well, what can you do.
     
  12. JJ_Maxx
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    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    I don't agree with that. If someone wishes you a Merry Christmas, wishing them the same will make them happier or at worst leave them feeling the same amount of happiness. However, if you say, 'I don't celebrate Christmas.', then more than likely you've made them less happy. As I said, kindness is sacrificing your own wishes for that of making others happy. It's perfectly fine that you don't celebrate Christmas, but why bring others down?
     
  13. Tharian
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    Tharian Contributing Member

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    Context, convention, and circumstance are all.

    If I walk into a shop and someone says ''Merry Christmas,'' (not that it happens in my country), then I would reply with something along the lines of ''likewise'' or ''you too.''

    If someone asks me if I put any worth on Christmas, I say, ''no not really, but I do see it as an opportunity of getting together. Even though it is superficially silly, I don't see harm in a conventional holiday where everyone puts aside their daily agenda.''

    If it's a friend I might give him my opinion without him asking. One of the things that fall into the framework of being a friend.

    But I really don't grasp what atheism has to do with Christmas. Do people seriously keep the religious background in mind when they say ''Merry Christmas?'' The commodity that is Christmas is clearly prevalent over the mass of Christ. If someone tells me that they don't celebrate Christmas because they're an atheist, they come across as self-conscious to me, perhaps even pretentious.
     
  14. JJ_Maxx
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    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    Now Halloween is a different story, that's the devil's holiday. :D
     
  15. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    halloween has nothing to do with the devil...

    the word itself is merely a shortened form of 'all hallows eve' and 'hallows' = 'saints'... so, it's just the 'eve' of 'all saints day'... which has no connection to the devil...
     
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  16. aimi_aiko
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    aimi_aiko Contributing Member

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    Dear Jesus ... *goes through thread and becomes annoyed* ... This has absolutely NOTHING to do with the point of my OP. Please close. I'm sick of people going off topic. Freaking trolls. Like I said in my previous reply, this has nothing to do with her response.
     
  17. JJ_Maxx
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    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    You need to calm down. You're new around here but you will learn that you can't control a conversation, it meanders. It is still on topic regarding your initial post, and if it gets too far off topic, a moderator will step in.

    Cheers.
     
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  18. Andrae Smith
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    Andrae Smith Gone exploring... in the inner realm... Contributor

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    Kindness is an invaluable expression of divinity and love. Being spiritual or atheist has nothing to do with the holidays for some, and everything to with them for others. However one chooses to respond, if the intent is with kindness or at least lacking malice, then it is fine. Kindness is all about respecting each other as members of the same human family and doing good willingly and selflessly for others, expecting nothing in return. The point of kindness is to create an atmosphere of goodness, knowing that it benefits everyone, especially if it catches on and influences others to pass it on.

    I appreciate all those on here who respect each other enough to show kindness and love. One thing to remember is that keeping your temper controlled is a form of kindness. Just an FYI ;)
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2013
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  19. aimi_aiko
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    aimi_aiko Contributing Member

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    No sir, I'm far from new. I've been a member here for about 2 years. I mean jeez, how long do I have to be here to be considered old? And yes, I can control conversations on my own thread. If I don't approve of what's going on it should be up to me to ask it to be closed or not. And what you all are discussing has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the OP. You all are discussing religion, not the subject (refer to title).

    That being said... I want it closed or deleted, whatever.

    Thanks.

    ps. In comparison to our join dates, I'm older than you. Thanks.
     
  20. JJ_Maxx
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    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    Trust me, I've been there and mods don't usually close threads just because the conversation didn't go the way the OP wanted.

    And they definitely won't delete it. lol.

    It's no big deal. If you don't care to participate in the conversation anymore just don't. No one is making you.
     
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  21. aimi_aiko
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    aimi_aiko Contributing Member

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    Hmm...so that's why I've always hated this forum and preferred others over this one. Now I remember why I stopped coming here about a year ago. See other forums remove your threads when you ask. This one, however, keeps them up to be trolled and piss off the OP. Okay....

    Consider myself removed.
     
  22. thirdwind
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    thirdwind Contributing Member Contest Administrator Reviewer Contributor

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    Even though you started the thread, you don't own it. Other people may wish to participate, and they should have the freedom to do so. That's why threads aren't usually deleted even when the OP asks.
     
  23. A.M.P.
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    A.M.P. People Buy My Books for the Bio Photo Supporter Contributor

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    Wow, so much rage in this thread -.-

    Ironic how a topic on being kind and whatnot derailed into upsetting people.

    That's it, no more happiness or appreciation for anyone!
    We can't handle it!
     
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  24. jannert
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    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

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    oh, dear...:( Do I dare say: "Happy New Year?"
     
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  25. minstrel
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    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Mods will not close threads unless they get totally out of hand. This one has not. And the last thing we want to do is delete threads (unless they're started by spammers or have become flooded with spam).

    Look, you started this conversation, but if others take it somewhere you didn't want it to go, there's nothing we're going to do about that. I can't close this thread just because you say so. Other members have made valuable and interesting contributions and those should be respected. You don't control conversations around your own living room, do you? Do you tell your family what they're allowed to talk about? Of course not.
     
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