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  1. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    Let's talk about polygamy

    Discussion in 'Debate Room' started by Oscar Leigh, May 22, 2016.

    So, I'm sure you've all heard the slippery slope fallacy about polygamy being a consequence of same-sex marriage. Now this is, as I said, a fallacy. But it raises the the question of how acceptable polygamy is and whether it should indeed get marriage as well.
    The first concern for me is jealousy. I've always thought it would be risky to have a relationship with multiple people for as long as I've been mature enough to really think about the subject. But how valid is that concern? And should we allow people to make their own mistakes, and not worry about how many people can actually achieve a group marriage?
    There's also of course the concern of harem building, given the oppressive sexist nature of many polygamy cultures. How much will there be inequality and force if it is encouraged by recognition such as marriage rights?
    A third point is while sexual orientation can prevent feelings for the people a "traditional marriage" model encourages you to be with, monogamy can happen with anyone and polygamists can manage. Now it would be sad if they had feelings for more than one person but couldn't get them recognized, but they can at least manage.
    Overall, the main question is of the ideal world. How far have we come and how good and logical are people? In a more ideal world polygamy wouldn't have the risks it does, but are we close enough?
    What do you guys think? Release the hounds!:superlaugh::superlaugh:
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2016
  2. 123456789
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    123456789 Contributing Member Contributor

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    Absolutely. I have always felt the ideal relationship is two girls to every one guy. Unfortunately, in this close minded society we live in people like me are often persecuted for having different beliefs.
     
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  3. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    To me the ideal relationship is me + Chris Hemsworth but to each his own.:p:p
    Anyway, so your saying you think polygamy should be fully embraced with marriage rights?
     
  4. Acanthophis
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    Acanthophis ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Contributor

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    The more the merrier. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
     
  5. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    Wow, the debate room creating small cordial interaction? What is this, the loungue? Where is the long heated discussion? I was actually aiming for serious discussion of this.
     
  6. No-Name Slob
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    No-Name Slob Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

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    I support polyamory, but polygamy is somewhat different and has it's roots in oppressive cultures, so I'm not sure that I support polygamy ... which makes me question my own open-mindedness, I'll admit.
     
  7. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    How do you define the two? What's the separation?
     
  8. Acanthophis
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    Acanthophis ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Contributor

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    Polygamy is spousal-specific, whereas polyamory is an intimate relationship involving more than one persons. I can understand why @No-Name Slob would point out the difference.

    You can be both, but historically speaking, you wouldn't be married to two women because you fancied both of them. There is usually something to gain, as marriage used to be all about family gains.
     
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  9. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    Aahh, yes, that is a relevant thing. How it works. I do mention the element of polygamy's cultural implications that she brought up in my OP.
     
  10. 123456789
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    123456789 Contributing Member Contributor

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    My provocative days here are over. I pass the torch on to you. You certainly deserve it.
     
  11. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  12. No-Name Slob
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    I think that as polyamory gains more social acceptance (many categorize it under "Queer," and tack it onto the end of LGBT ... Q), polygamy could be a natural progression. Though I don't understand the point or purpose of marriage in a polyamorous relationship.
     
  13. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    Well it's the same purpose as in any other. Recognition.
     
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  14. No-Name Slob
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    I guess I view marriage more as a contract between (traditionally two) people that they will love and cherish and be faithful to one another other, and yes, that covenant is recognized by the state, but that is secondary to the overall purpose of marriage. Polyamory in its nature, is about people who engage in an open relationship outside monogamy, and while oftentimes that looks like 3 or more people in the same relationship, it also means two people in a primary relationship, also sleeping with or having relationships with other people separately. And by that definition, I don't understand the point in entering into a monogamous contract, when the very nature of the relationship falls outside the bounds of monogamy. I don't question the validity of the relationship, but the bounds of marriage seem counterintuitive to it.

    I'm trying to reason your initial conversation into viability, because the kind of polygamy you referred to originally, I don't ever see happening because of the traditionally oppressive nature of it. However, if you want to talk hypothetical and viable possibilities, then we'd have to discuss something which is slightly left of your OP, and that's where I was going with it.
     
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  15. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    I meant general non-monogamous models. But that includes polygamy. I mean, having two wives isn't necessarily a sexist institution, it just often is.
     
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2016
  16. X Equestris
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    X Equestris Contributing Member Contributor

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    As long as everyone involved is an adult, and everyone is aware of all of the spouses, I see no compelling reason for the government to ban it.
     
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    Cave Troll Bite the bullet, do your own thing. Contributor

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    I don't have a problem with a man or a woman having multiple husbands or wives. I say cap it off at about 5, that seems like an ideal figure to aim for at the very most. Now for those who think polygamy is oppressive are just trying to compare it with harems, which are much more oppressive considering the ones in the harem are basically property.

    Having said all of that I would be perfectly happy with one really good woman, cause I have a possessive nature and don't like to share my partner. (Now to find a woman that will love my short skinny ass).:superlaugh:
     
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  18. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    Well, it's not about banning it. It's not illegal already, and I'm not proposing we do. It's just about what legal status it should have and what privileges.
     
  19. X Equestris
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    X Equestris Contributing Member Contributor

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    It's illegal in the US.

    https://www.hg.org/article.asp?id=31807

    That doesn't stop polyamory, just as a lack of legal recognition for homosexual marriages didn't stop people from having homosexual relationships, but it's impossible for one to have the relationship recognized by the government as a marriage.
     
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  20. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    So when you say "polygamy is illegal" we're talking the marriage is illegal I think? But polyamory is legal, right? I'm confused.
    And I'm starting to think it probably should. Concerns remain, but as I said in my Op, "are we close enough?" Perhaps we are.
    I would like for someone to address the point about jealousy. How do you know that people won't get jealous in a three or four person relationship? What is the evidence of how many people maintain a stable interaction with all of the people in that relationship? I'd like to see the info.
     
  21. X Equestris
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    X Equestris Contributing Member Contributor

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    Multiple partner marriage (polygamy) is illegal. The government doesn't have the right to prevent multiple partner sex or cohabitation.
     
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  22. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    Cool, so that's the premise I'm going off. Where do we go from here? As I said, what about the jealousy issue I raised? What do we know about that? Is it a big issue, or does polyamory work out relatively peacefully and we shouldn't be worried about jealousy between members?
     
  23. zoupskim
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    zoupskim Contributing Member Contributor

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    I long for the day when any number of all genders can exist together in large, self supporting, harmonious communes, raising multiple shared childen in a diverse, pandisciplinary educational system. Only once we have mastered the concept of "Family units" can we begin construction of the hearthships, and start on our colonization of the stars.
     
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  24. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    Interesting dream of yours. Sounds fascinating, at the very least.
     
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