List of Cliches

Here are some horror movie cliches:

112) If you're chased by a psycho killer, do not even think of running away in a car. Trust me, it won't work.

113) Do not even try running. You'll trip or slip (mostly over nothing) and fall.

114) Don't ever, when going to the bathroom or something, say: "I'll be back." You won't.

115) Never watch horror movies if you're yourself in a horror movie. Someone will dress as the murderer from the movie you watched and kill everyone around you.

116) Teens are played by people aged 25 and older.

117) The police will always arrest one of the main characters for a murder caused by a supernatural being, even though there is no evidence that he/she killed anyone. Of course, nobody will trust the arrested one and put themselves in danger by it. And even after half the police station is killed, the police still thinks it's one of the main characters, even though said person was in jail. It's like the police in movies is stupid and even when the truth is right in front of their eyes, they don't see it.

 

Archenna, referencing your other post -- in horror movies, it's always the bimbo blond girl who's the 2nd or 3rd to die (if not the first). It's the brunette who lives to the end. Haven't you seen the "Scream" movies?

118) Whenever one lover betrays another, there's always a long pause where they stare at each other and then the chick goes "I thought I knew you!' and walks away.

119) Whenever a teen and a parent have a fight, the teen misunderstands something the parent says and gets deeply hurt, so he runs away. The parent guiltily calls "Johnny, come back!" but it's too late.

120) Whenever there's a love scene, there's no mention of birth control being used but no one has an accidental pregnancy (unless it's a soap opera).

121) Whenever someone works hard for something or competes for something that can have only one winner, the protag always gets it.

 

Bond movies,

122) Whenever he gets captured and he always gets captured by the big baddie, they always tell him their diabolical plans then lock him away in some side room with a few henchmen planning to kill him in some ridiculously complicated and evil looking way, so he can get away. Why can't one of these super villains just shoot him in the head and be done with it? You know a nice quick bang, nothing complicated, then on to world domination!

Cheers.

 

123) and there's always a corny deux ex machina to save the protag from the sadistic killer.

 

While we are on the topic of James Bond movies...

124) The officers placed in the position of watching any type of security device is always the laziest, sleepiest, most worthless piles of mush. The security displays are usually used to just further the camera shot by zooming past the man nodding off behind the monitors.

 

125) Whenever the protag is skiing away from the bad guys, the protag can do expert maneuvers and the bad guys fall on their faces in the snow.

 

Don't have a cliche to add but.

I have actually done this on a number of occasions. Sometimes I forget I have shoes on and just wear them for the rest of the day even if I am staying indoors.

 

Sitcoms:

126) Don't ever cheat at school. If you get caught, you'll be sent to the principal's office, your parents will be called and you might be expelled from school. I mean, wtf? My friends have been caught by many teachers in both high and elementary school and only got told to stop cheating. If they continued, they got an F. If the teacher was not so easy on them, he/she would give them an F without warning. No parents, principal's office, expelling - nothing!

127) If someone bullies you, at the end of the episode you two will be best buddies as if nothing happened.

128) You can only have As and Bs. If you ever, by any case, get a Cs or lover, you'll be grounded. If the subject is too hard to you, no one will care. But, of course, there's a happy end at the end of every episode so don't worry.

129) Don't ever lie to your parents. They always find out. Same goes for friends.

130) If your parents found out you cheated at school, you're grounded! Wtf - this too. I even know some people that are told by their parents how to cheat. It's not a good reason to get grounded.

131) Same as the above if they saw you coping someone's homework.

132) You're not allowed to watch horror movies under the age of 16. This is also stupid. I watched them at the age of 9 with my dad and nothing bad happened. The only consequences I have now is that I adore them.

133) If you're caught smoking, you're grounded. If it happened at school, you're sent to the principal's office and your parents are called. Again, wtf?! Come to my school. When it's the 15-minute break, half the school goes out to smoke. Students are just not allowed to smoke inside the school, but outside is just fine.

 

134) The teacher is almost always harsh.

135) The teacher is almost always a cruel person who wishes to put the student down relentlessly. I know, this is because there ARE real life teachers, sadly, who do this.

135) There is a good chance that snob in a murder series is the first one to die horribly. Why? Because the author based her off of a b<expletive> he/she knows and is having revenge.

136) The Hollywood morales of good guys: They don't attack women. So they can be the biggest dick in the movie, do all kinds of questionable things, but to Hollywood, they're still worth rooting for because they don't attack women.

137) Hollywood thinks that the only way people know if someone has cancer is by having that someone possess plucked eyelashes.

138) Hollywood loves to piss on history. Why do the research? Want huge-ass explosions in a movie set in Colonial times? Go ahead! Who cares if how the explosion was done wouldn't have been fesible had someone attempted this at the time.

139) Hollywood thinks a difilibrator is a heart-starter. Moment a guy falls down of heart attack, they put pads and "CLEAR!" *bzzzap!!* guy is back up on his feet.

140) Hollywood thinks a syringe is magical. Want someone to be knocked out? Jab them with a syringe and they'll be out in a second.

141) Hollywood thinks that the moment someone gets shot, THEN THEY MUST GET THE BULLET OUT ASAP!!!

 

142) I don't know if this was already put here, but aliens always speak nothing but english. And in 99% of cases it's never explained why.

 

143) Whenever the MC is a woman alone in her house and the killer/stalker keeps crank calling her and threatening her (think "Scream," etc), she never calls the cops. She just walks around her apartment pacing nervously or acting like a bimbo. Um if someone called me when I'm home alone and said how they were going to kill me, I'd call 911 even if they said not to, sorry.

 

144) Riding off into the sunset
145) With a bomb there is ALWAYS some form of countdown timer

 

146) And the countdown ALWAYS ends at 00:00:01.

147) Victorian Britain must've been an absolute misery according to Dickens. You couldn't walk anywhere without someone giving you a "THINGS SUCK HERE" card.

148) In contrast, Antebellum America almost always centers around the issue of the northern vs southern states.

149) The Chosen One almost always angsts about the burden he must bear.

150) If you are an orphan living in a fantasy world, the big bad killed your parents because of a prophecy or your parents managed to piss them off somehow or just for "teh evilz".

151) The little sickly orphan will almost always triumph at the end and, if he's lucky enough, will find out he's from a rich family all along.

152) In movies about estranged loved ones, the kid(s) almost always find ways to bring them back together.

153) Hey, is there a burglar in your home? Don't worry! Just outsmart him with your toys and duck under the table when in trouble! He's too stupid to navigate obstacles like this and if you do this enough times, he'll just give up and go home! (Seriously, children, don't effin' do this. If a robber is in your home and you can escape. RUN. You run your ass out of the house and don't stop until you're in a neighbor's home and they can call 911 for you.)

 

154) A girl meets a guy, they fall in love over the span of a couple weeks and all of a sudden he's the love of her life and she can't live without him(ex:Twilight actually that whole book is just one really dreadfully written cliche...)

 

This is very good advice for everyone who may encounter this type of situation, however... I think I would be fine just staying in my house as not only can I lock the door, but I also have a large variety of options at my disposal: A recurve bow that I'm trained to use, a baseball bat (Self explanatory), a Shinai & Boken (I take Kendo lessons), a nail gun though technically this is my housemate's as he's a carpenter, which means I also have to hand; hammers, mallets, chisels and lots of other wood-working tools to lengthen my entertainment and most probably my favourite, "The egg slicer".
This is extremely unlikely to happen to me though as I'm not a woman. But my imagination tells me 'if I was, I'll be fine'.

155) Cops can hit a car petrol tank from over 200 yards and cause the car to blow up.

 

Yandos, I have means of self-defense too, but...I'd still call the cops.

156) In little kid movies, the animal always loses its mother (Bambi, Land before Time, etc)

157) Said baby animal (usually) meets a human friend, or a friend of a species who would normally eat it.

 

158) If it is ranning outside and the sun is out at the same time, then the devil is currently beating up his wife.

159) In the Movie, Angels in the Outfield, Dad will stay with his son if the Angels win the pennant--He think not.

160) The sun won't come out until you tell me what is wrong with you.

161) If you are going to eat pancakes for breakfast only to see that the pancake has a big lump in the middle of it, someone's pregnant.

162) Once upon a time, there was a boy who was sad, and then his mother hugged him as the sun came out. He lived happily ever after. The end.

163) It was the best of times, it was the worse of times. It was the best of times, it was the worse of time.

164) If you come outside and your eyes spot a black car before anything else, you'll die, but if you see a green one or blue one, you'll live forever.

 

lol I've never seen any of those...

 

165) Guards armed and trained to use high powered assault rifles will have a clear shot at the hero who is standing no more than twenty feet away. Every time they fire they will miss him by a mile.

166) A hero who has never touched a sword in his life will be able to hold his own against a skilled swordsman.

167) This one applies to video games: "You have been summoned to battle a great evil. Now here is five bucks and a stick. Go forth and conquer!"

 

168) Horror movies that aren't about serial killers or cults always involve zombies, body-snatcher style alien invasions, or vampires. Seriously, I love zombie movies but they don't scare me at all because they're so predictable and usually more comedy. There are way more original horror ideas out there.

 

169) And most of the time, it's not even explained why are the dead rising. They just do.

170) When there's a prophecy about 'The One', he or she is usually someone reckless, stupid, whiny who at the end learns to be brave and is suddenly gifted with martial arts withouth having to ever learn it.

171) This one is from anime: in the magical girl animes, the main girl is always a whiny, innocent and pure hearted person who would never hurt a fly. However, the enemies never seem to kill her, no matter how easy it is to kill her - there's always someone to come to her rescue.

 

Some 'tough guy' movie cliches (apologies if these have already been mentioned)

156) The hero is always an expert shot and can pick anybody off at more than 150 yards away from firing a fully automatic weapon from the hip. The henchmen/villain is always a terrible shooter, even when the hero is feet away from them.

157) Any automatic weapon has AT LEAST a hundred bullets per clip and hardly ever has to be reloaded, even though any automatic weapon in reality has around 20-30 bullets per clip and can be fired around 2.5 seconds before running out.

158) A final confrontation between the hero and the villain will be a fist fight, where any weapons are knocked away within a short distance.

159) The villain will own at least one helicopter or other form of air travel.

160) This helicopter will be blown to pieces by the end of the movie.

 

176) Killing the main bad guy solves all the problems in the story instantly.

177) In the movies, every human fantasy hero uses swords. Where are all the axes and spears? Did the dwarves and elves steal them all?

 

178) Fantasies always involve humans, dwarves and elves. The entire point of fantasy is Making Stuff Up. New and original races, people, come on.

179) In said fantasies, no one has ever developed firearms.

180) Whenever there's twins, either one is good and one is evil, or they are bestest friends with the ability to read each other's minds and "sense" when the other is in danger.

181) In romance/family dramas, it's always the woman who wants kids and the man who isn't ready or doesn't want to. In real life it goes the other way around, too.

182) Whenever a character is faced to choose between her romantic interest and her lifelong dreams, she always chooses the partner, even if being with the person makes her give up everything else she's wanted to do.

183) Every action movie has a scene with a car flying through the air and making a badass landing (like a motorcycle).

 

MC is known to hate something(robots), police ignore all other facts, and think the MC is crazy or the villian.
I, Robot- changed the channel when the supervisor didn't believe the robots were involved in the car chase that went miles and miles destroying parked cars, small buildings etc. Ignoring the fact that they have robots cleaning up accidents before the police even arrive.