1. illuminati
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    illuminati Member

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    Love and a .38 (approx words: 4250)

    Discussion in '"Consequences" Short Story Contest' started by illuminati, May 22, 2008.

    REMOVED: Love and a .38

    I hereby officially withdraw from this competition and retract my story. Thank you all for your kind comments on this one. There’s a valid (albeit personal) reason why I’m removing the story.

    Good luck guys n’ gals!
     
  2. Silver1
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    Silver1 Member

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    Beautiful. :)
     
  3. illuminati
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    illuminati Member

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    Thanks Silver1 :)
     
  4. Adelaide
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    God, that was terrifying. My stomach really dropped when she said Andrew had been dead for two years. Excellent work! :D
     
  5. illuminati
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    Thank you for the compliment, Adelaide. MUCH appreciated ;)
     
  6. Lucy E.
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    Illuminati, that is quite possibly the best story I have ever read on this site.
    It's the first one that's actually kept me interested. Seriously brilliant work. I loved it.
     
  7. illuminati
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    Thank you so much, Lucy E! I must admit that writing something around a pre-defined topic was tough. I'm just relieved that you guys (and gals) liked it. :)
     
  8. Lucy E.
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    No problem!
    I loved it though, I really did. I connected with the characters immediately, and the plot was great with a surprising twist! I almost spat out my lemonade when he saw Monique's slit wrists...wow.
    Great job.
     
  9. illuminati
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    Strange enough, until that moment with Monique, I had no idea whether he actually killed himself or not. The story is partly based on a friend of mine who "shot" himself and told me about it the next day. He didn't get a girl pregnant or anything dramatic like that. He just wanted to tap out. He was tired. The shot went off, but nothing came out and he lived to tell the tale. I figured that this story is about consequences and that if you shoot yourself, you'll most likely not be as lucky as he was...
     
  10. Lucy E.
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    Lucy E. Contributing Member

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    That's a great message to give out. A lot of people I know have considered suicide without considering the consequences.
    You're a really talented writer - you have a lot of ability. I'd love to read more of your work.
     
  11. illuminati
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    Thanks again. I think we should take this conversation elsewhere. I'll have my people PM your people ;)
     
  12. Tweeti6095
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    Tweeti6095 Member

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    I Thought this story was well written. It kinda flashed me back to the movie sixth-sense. It also caught my attention in the beginning, due to the fact my brother died the same way. Gun shot to the left temple. It left me with alot of questions. I do beleive their is a after life. My brother is always with me. You thought your story could help others to make sure they have safe sex. Well not only that, it also brings up the after affects of sucide also. It's a tough one all around. This story did get my attention.
     
  13. illuminati
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    Hi Tweeti, thank you for your kind words. It's sad about your brother. Sorry to hear about your loss. The part where he shoots himself and nothing comes out is based on a friend of mine that shot himself. He was lucky, but the character of my story had to face the consequences that are much more common.

    Thanks again!
     

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