Male rape victim

Discussion in 'Character Development' started by Dagolas, Oct 1, 2015.

  1. Ben414

    Ben414 Contributor Contributor

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    Go ahead and explain how you're able to tell what sort of reaction I had. Using that same logic, I could just as easily claim that you didn't show any reaction to the facts about gender disparities in child sexual abuse.

    Your argument rests on your ability to create and substantiate a fabricated emotion in me about 20 minutes ago. Good luck with that one.
     
  2. Aaron DC

    Aaron DC Contributor Contributor

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    Statistics: reaction leads to posting outrage I care about disparity.
    Shelter disparity: we need to do a cost:benefit analysis and anyway I don't want to talk about it.

    Just a guess.
     
  3. Ben414

    Ben414 Contributor Contributor

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    Now your argument rests on a generality that lacks any credible evidence. Do you see how you're not going to win this one? When someone doesn't comment on an issue, it is impossible to critique a fabricated argument on the issue.
     
  4. Aaron DC

    Aaron DC Contributor Contributor

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    I do see that you'd rather win a point than express any sort of concern. Compared to your original outrage post, I think the fact that you have had multiple opportunities to express a single GAF and have failed to do so more than proves the lack of them for this issue growing in your field where they grow. Perhaps agreeing with me is so distasteful that it overrides the concern you do feel for the disparity, who knows.

    Anyway I don't mean to put you down and do apologise if that's how it has come across. I am very new (believe it or not) to the whole field of abuse and violence stats and in particular how those events are being treated in the media and political arenas. I have personal experience with numerous women and never see anything indicating anyone gives a shit about boys being abused, or men for that matter. When another man expresses some concern through mentioning stats but is immediately told he is wrong and goodness don't get the stats wrong coz women and girls might miss out on help -- and all I see is women and girls getting help -- and when I mention that, I see no apparent concern, it bamboozles me.

    Anyway I'm out.
     
  5. ManOrAstroMan

    ManOrAstroMan Magical Space Detective Contributor

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    How we doin' over there, Dag?
     
  6. Dagolas

    Dagolas Banned

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    I count three responses to OP and thirty pointless debate posts.
     
  7. Aaron DC

    Aaron DC Contributor Contributor

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    Did you count this one?

     
  8. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Contributor

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    Uh, yeah... How about we try to focus on helping the OP instead of debating statistics and gender disparities? The latter belongs to the debate room. If you bring up the lack of, say, shelters, think about it in the context of the OP's character. How will it affect him if he can't find support?

    Anyway, back to the topic. Because society views men and women somewhat differently in this regard, I've understood men hide and even ignore the fact they were raped more readily and stubbornly than women because it's a blow to their masculinity, to the false notion that men should be able to take care of themselves and cannot be reduced to such a vulnerable state where they could be taken advantage of, simply because men are usually considered saviors, not those in distress. Imagine reporting the crime. A big-ass male cop is asking you questions. He stares down at your 6'2'', 200lbs frame and it looks like his eyes are saying "how the hell did this happen? Why didn't he just fight them/him/her off?" and your every answer sounds like an excuse, a sign of weakness, to your own ears. It's diconcerting. Fuck, this could happen to anyone.

    However, once you get past societal expectations and stigma, the feelings rape victims (or 'survivors,' if you prefer... I personally have zero problem with the word 'victim') go through are probably somewhat similar. There's shame, self-blame, fear, distrust, feelings of vulnerability and helplessness, anger, all of which can lead to depression, substance abuse, reckless behavior and risk-taking, over-compensation, or isolation from the rest of society. Even though the event is in the past, it can, unfortunately, be a part of his everyday life. Glimpses and images. Aversion towards certain situations. Paranoia (he might carry a weapon and be more on guard than before). As much as some people oppose to this, I do think the way it happens matters. The more violent or humiliating the rape, the heavier the baggage, I'm afraid (and I'm not saying this to disparage or belittle others' experiences, just pointing out that different things can cause different outcomes. You might write the aftermath differently if he was raped by a woman instead of a man). If you get an STD as a souvenir, you'll also have that to deal with. It's not just the mental wounds that can destroy your life, but whatever physical marks it may have left on your body; a disease, disability, etc. For example, if it's a disease that requires daily medication, imagine remembering the rape every time you take the meds. Something like that is very hard to bear, especially if you find no support, can't afford therapy, and so on.

    There's lots of material on the internet detailing the experiences of men in particular. On some level, listening and watching a man talk about it can be really quite shocking because outside prisons, we aren't really used to hearing about it happening. Male rape is kind of a joke (you know, "be careful not to drop the soap"), so when a man tears up and tells you he was seconds away from killing himself because of rape, it's really quite heartbreaking (for example, check out the documentary Invisible War).
     
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  9. Aaron DC

    Aaron DC Contributor Contributor

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    There's also some good threads of the same topic available if you search titles only for rape in all forums.
     
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  10. sidtvicious

    sidtvicious Contributor Contributor

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    Hey Dagolas,

    If you're looking to read other authors who have tackled this issue. Crime Fiction has done it over and over again.

    I'd suggest James Lee Burke who writes Louisiana centered crime fiction--Swan Peak in particular has a haunting male on male rape scene at the beginning and much of the the latter story is devoted to the ramifications. Burning Angel has a male on male rape scene, but also a sexual assault (sans penetration)--and how that effects male identity in a male-centric society.

    The "Three Sisters" scene in "Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption" by King captures the brutality, but doesn't deal with the fallout as well.

    "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini has a male on male rape scene, which is written well.


    I think the important thing to do in a rape scene is to treat it simultaneously as both a scene of violence and sex. By which I mean. Less is definitely more. Such a scene is definitely a double-edged sword. One one hand if you're gratuitous it can be taken as exploitation/fetishization--a major turn off to readers. But if you're too brisk you risk the question of "why does it need to be a rape scene?" If it's too cookie cutter any form of violence could replace it.

    If I think of other examples in fiction I'll note them here.

    Good Luck,
    Sid
     
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  11. Dagolas

    Dagolas Banned

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    I've said previously it's not my intention to show the rape, it happened a year or two before the short story even starts.
     
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  12. Dagolas

    Dagolas Banned

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    I've said previously it's not my intention to show the rape, it happened a year or two before the short story even starts.
     
  13. Justin Rocket 2

    Justin Rocket 2 Contributor Contributor

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    I can see the value in what you're saying here as long as you are comparing apples to apples (your volunteered time to his volunteered time) and government money isn't being included.
     
  14. Justin Rocket 2

    Justin Rocket 2 Contributor Contributor

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    One dynamic which sure does seem to hold a lot of energy is the gross disparity in how much more poorly male victims are treated by society, the majority of politically-motivated "experts", and government services. This should certainly have an impact on how the character and his loved ones deal with the incident. It has a lot of rich content available for use. Think about the isolation (including from unexpected corners like feminist rape counselors who believe that taking time away from female victims is morally wrong) and efforts to regain a sense of manhood
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 4, 2015

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