1. Dr.isam
    Offline

    Dr.isam New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2015
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0

    Me and loren

    Discussion in 'Publishing' started by Dr.isam, Aug 18, 2015.

    My name is Esam...finally I decided to share my story..but I need a good writer to help me with that
    im doctor not a writer...if you want to know what im talking about and what the story is about
    it is about an arab guy who falled in love with a jewish girl..who was killed in a car accident..on his birthday...

    I tried to share it on youtube 8 years ago....but now I want to tell the full story
     
  2. jannert
    Offline

    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2013
    Messages:
    7,774
    Likes Received:
    7,287
    Location:
    Scotland
    Okay, that is a very strange story. The ending is quite unexpected.

    I think there is a LOT to work out here. Not necessarily the writing, which is perfectly okay for a short synopsis of 'what happened.' But that's a synopsis, not a story—in the sense that it's not something you could publish as either a short story or a novel in its present form. It's just a short personal anecdote.

    So ...what is it you want to do with this story? There is obviously a twist at the end ...no hint of why she was leaving, or why she didn't want to take (you) with her. Very strange.

    You could simply expand the story as it is. Let us see more of her, what you did together, what made you fall in love with her and what made her fall in love with you. If you had difficulties coming from two different religions, we might want to see how that developed. What did your parents say to you about all this? What about hers? At the moment you're just telling us what happened to you. What we need to do is SEE what happened to you. Make those scenes come alive by writing them out, either as they actually happened, or as you want to fictionalise them. And maybe let us in on what made her make the decision to go.

    You can change names and events so they work better AS A STORY. Unless you're writing an autobiography or biography, you can change anything you want. Of course the central question is not really how difficult it can be when two religions clash, but why did she decide to leave? Was this something you expected to happen? Had you talked about it before? How would you have felt if she had not died, but actually had left for the USA—and you only found out about it through this letter? Would you have felt betrayed? Would you have gone to the USA yourself to try to find her? What would you have done ...and why? Start thinking 'character' here and not 'you.'

    There is another way to approach this, if you are going to write a novel or short story, rather than a biography/autobiography. Find the point where you wish things had been different, and change it from there. In other words, turn the story on its head and really delve into what would have happened if she had NOT died. To me, that's the story here. It's not what happened, but maybe what you wish had happened? Trust me, if you delve deeply enough into your own feelings and the realities of the situation BEFORE her death, you will find lots and LOTS to write about. In a way, her dying as she did made the whole thing easy (from an author's point of view.) Sad, but easy. You had no problems to solve after that, only the usual grieving process. While that is an important thing for your life, it's not really a gripping story. I met a girl who was different from me. We fell in love. She died on my birthday in the same place we met. The end.

    You haven't set up any conflict here. If she had died as a result of your clash of religions, that would have made a huge story. But her death was random, and random death can start a story, but it's not a good way to finish one. Readers will feel cheated. Your real story here, if you go that route, is why she decided to leave and not take you.

    Having control (as a writer) over what happens can really be a huge healing process for you. Take your grief and turn it into something else. Take the bones of this sad story and make something else happen. It doesn't have to turn into a happy story, but it does need to have literary structure, depth and purpose if it's going to be either a novel or short story. What you have at the moment is a short news item. You want this story to have meaning instead.
     

Share This Page