Maybe I'm just too sentimental right now. Why should you even care reading this? Don't know, you might be bored or just as sentimental as me right now. I don't want to sound like a selfish c*nt, I really want you to know that I appreciate everyone who reads this or gives me even answers, own opinions, or critics etc. ... First off, I'm from Germany and an 18 years old student (so excuse my bad English). My ex-girlfriend broke up with me recently - just another reason for my mood right now. Even if I still love her, I somehow NEED an new start. I must forget her, but I see her at school. My feelings won't listen. My mistakes shall repeat, no matter how mature I've become for my age... I have my own apartment, my own side job, I'm one of the best in my sports club, and my accomplishment at school is great. So everything except for my love life works splendid, so heck, why should a spoiled guy like me even cry about life? Most of people just want my "sorrows". But I must let you know that I worked really hard for everything I have now. My parents tried to care, but they couldn't even take care of themselves. Twists about drugs and alcohol... My father just took my money at night for that stuff. I beat him. I looked for my own apartment. New money safed. Jeeze! What do I care about my past? This is where I want to come to my present state... Yes, you could have had the worst life ever, but when you get happy, you just get happy. No matter what. As for having the best life ever. You can always get sad. So. There are poor people out there who have to fight for their lives - against cancer, poverty and war. ...My broken heart must be a joke, but what if you would give away your health and treasures just for a certain person..? Is that a paradox? -No, it's rather subjective. Impression (environment + other lives). Expression (you effecting environment + other lives). Consciousness (how much does impression effect you?). Mood (how do you work with expression?). (= experience with your senses, express with your feelings). And that's it. That's what everyone's life is. We only experience what we can see, hear smell etc... And express them for others. But what truly matters is your own mind. It's the only thing that creates ya own reality. No book, no teacher, no society, no religion - and not even my post here gives you truth. The world is a dynamic mess, formed as cosmic mass. So. Why should we live when we all die anyways? Simple. Since everyone got his own mind, you have the right to decide for yourself. Knowledge doesn't matter because 1. who knows what's true that has been told and 2. everyone comes to life without orientation. So anyone can be filled with anything, no wrong content. Often a matter of luck and unluck. If you need a guide, follow what your body and mind says. 'cuz it's all that matters, just be aware of consequences. You are born thanks to your parents, you later have sexual experiences on ya own for a reason of mood or love and finally the intelligent result of life: new life possible. Past, present, future. So might love be the meaning of life? Without love, you wouldn't have had born. Without love, there is no future for further life. This is how it worked centuries ago at least, but you cannot replace the origins with technology (artificial insemination etc...). People just need something they can follow or hold at, or something they believe in... Even if you believe in a religion that is full of lies, it is still healthier than believing in nothing and being depressed. Paradox? No, again subjective, but much better than truth to us human! I know this might be very abstract, but do not misunderstand me. With free will, you still decide on your own what's true and what not. Human beings are not meant for truth, actually. They're rather based on gene, meme and environment (= the impression you get at least). Why am I doing this? Hell, I'm just in love and even as a very powerful person, I gather self-confidence through people. Can't change it just like that. Or mabye I could..? There is nothing you can exclude in life, you shouldn't be ignorant, 'cause reception has to do with the ability to think for oneself. Now. Guide me.
"The first cut is the deepest, baby, I know The first cut is the deepest But when it comes to being lucky, he's cursed When it comes to lovin' me, he's worst I still want you by my side Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried But I'm sure gonna give you a try And if you wanna try to love again Try, Baby, I'll try to love again, but I know" Sheryl Crow - Lyrics This is all I can say, and I imagine it's been said a million times before: It's always painful to be left behind, sometimes more than other times. But the pain really does heal with time, you have to trust that. Unfortunately there's no way to speed time up. There is another lover for you out there, on a planet with almost 7 billion people, the odds are in your favor. Friends, distractions, go to your writing place... and wait it out. But most of all remember it will get better.
I'm wondering if this is a piece of writing the OP wants some guidance on he thinks this is a site for emos... either way he lost me after the 2nd paragraph and I'm waiting on news from the seagull...
@GingerCoffe; Thanks, cannot exclude a good future yet. @erebh; Not reading the whole thing but making pointless comments? Seems legit.
Breaking up is always tough, and even if it sounds stupid, there's not much you can actively do. Time will heal your wounds. I agree with GingerCoffee on this. Distractions and time will do the trick. The meaning of life, you ask? Is '42' a valid answer? I'm sorry, I don't know, and I don't really care what the meaning of life is. I just try to get what I want from it, even if it's not going the way I planned, really. Nice Cat Stevens song you quoted there, GingerC .
("...if you can't live without it, then simply you are not ready for it yet..." smiled the goblin, adding "...funny how one always seems to calling that person towards one, and then, when the time is right she appears and you knew that today's wilderness period was necessary, so don't compromise by settling for some stopgap partner, instead grow whole in her absence till the day she is just there, because she will note your inner strength by it, moreover she can trust better someone who can be happy alone, not someone weak to needs...")
