1. Tenderiser
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    Tenderiser Not a man Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Mental Health Support Thread (NOT for giving medical advice, or debating)

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Tenderiser, Jan 27, 2016.

    Update: This is for support, not debating whether you think mental health issues exist OR what the best treatment is for them.

    It is also not for giving any medical advice besides, "Perhaps you should see a doctor?"

    If you can't say something supportive, move on to another thread.


    This might end up as me talking to myself, in which case I'll let it slip quietly off the front page of The Lounge..

    But I thought others might benefit from somewhere to vent about their mental health issues. I know I do. My best friend is my go-to person when I'm feeling anxious or down - she suffers from anxiety too, and we're very similar people. She's currently travelling around South America with intermittent wi-fi. I don't have anyone else in my life who really understands or says anything more helpful than "Don't worry! It's not that bad!"

    Sooo... I'm struggling at the moment. I think I might need to increase my dose of citalopram, because I'm feeling like I used to before I took it - constantly anxious about tiny things, or nothing at all, with a stress stomachache to match. Someone went into the back of my car on my commute home (very low impact, no injuries or even car damage) but I handled it badly and feel like a terrible human being. I just want to crawl into a hole and wait until everyone I've ever met forgets I existed.

    Thankfully, writing is great escapism. :)

    I didn't make this thread to be all about me so if anyone else is struggling, or just wants to talk to other people with depression/anxiety/etc, please go ahead.
     
    Last edited: May 28, 2016
  2. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    Well, aside from yesterday when my boss pissed me off, I've been doing pretty good despite not seeing my psychiatrist since last... September? October? So I've been off my meds for quite some time which many here know is actually pretty dangerous. I do have an appointment on Leap Year Day to see a new psychiatrist, which I hope is much better than the last one. I am to the point though, that I think I'll just ask him to put me back on my Tegretol and that's it. I don't really want to be on fours different meds.

    I hope you start feeling better, go relax and taking a nice warm bubble bath while drinking some sparkling wine spritzer!
     
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  3. Tenderiser
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    Tenderiser Not a man Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Wishing you much luck with the new psychiatrist! Do you have to keep seeing him to keep getting the meds?
     
  4. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    Well my other one I had to go every month. Hopefully with this new one I can go every three months unless needed. I'm working part-time and going to school full-time, so taking a day off work is a pain in the ass, and I can't afford to miss a day of class because of quizzes, and they take attendance that gets factored into your grade.
     
  5. Imaginarily
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    Imaginarily Disparu en Mer Contributor

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    I may or may not be transforming from hardcore introvert to full-on sociopath.

    My empathy and regard for others is plummeting rapidly, and I can't really bring myself to worry over it. It doesn't bother me, but people sure as fuck do. :wtf:
     
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  6. Link the Writer
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    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Thanks, @Tenderiser . This thread needs to be stickied.

    It sucks to have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I'll tell you that much. It's like an invisible hand reaching over and gripping your heart, filling you with a sense of dread, uncertainty, worry of some horrible thing that will happen in the future, or regret over things I've done or didn't do in the past.

    Exercise and meditation has done some good for me, but I'll need to get into the habit of doing it daily, setting aside a time when I'm not too busy to do it. I've just started out, so yah. :p

    At any rate, sometimes I'm afraid that my usual stoicism, my “I'll-Get-Through-This” attitude is just a mask to hide whatever neurotic ‘inner-self’ that lies within. That's why I'm starting that routine early so that when the day comes that my stoicism is put through its ultimate test, whenever or however it comes, I can somehow push through without crumbling and downing a pack of Titan Claymore Ale.

    I've compared my anxiety to a demon, or perhaps an inner bully that follows me wherever I go. Doubt, fear that others judge me poorly. The usual. For a long, long time, it had clamped down on my creativity and it wasn't until the last few months thanks to the people here, especially @Imaginarily that I finally was able to push through that 12-year-long barrier and start writing freely again without worry. Come to think of it, maybe that's why I got into video games because they offered me a clear escape from my worries. I could pretend to be someone else for a while, someone like Link or Goku. A big badass that can beat away at a physical problem without fear or regret.

    My anxiety crops up in the weirdest of ways. For example, I was playing Fallout 4 a few months back and wanted to change the complexion of my main character from a black lady to a white gal with red hair, a scar on her left eye and freckles. My anxiety immediately clamped on it and called me a racist asshole for it. That I was not being politically correct.

    For wanting to change the appearance of a friggin' videogame character. That I play. In the privacy of my own room. To absolutely no one but myself. In an act of revenge, I created a new character, but used the default white male and named him...Nate. The default name for the stock/default white male character and thought, “See this, Anxiety? See that man? You. May. Suck. It.”

    It shut up after that. I did make characters that were of color/female, but only because I had wanted to, not because my anxiety made me do it.

    The other was more recent. See, I was researching a neurological disorder for a character in my fantasy and during that time, my anxiety began to interpret any stiffness and ache in my body to having a neurological disorder. It had gotten to the point where I had to pretty much write down a journal entry reminding myself that researching illnesses/diseases/conditions does not give you the illness/disease/condition.

    @Lewdog - Good luck, buddy!

    @Imaginarily - My fear is becoming a cynical, sour, mean-spirited asshole. Y'know, the grumpy old person that can't seem to say anything nice, will always find some way to take something beautiful and shred it to pieces. The kind that goes off on a nasty rant about something or someone, the kind that -- well, you get the idea. I don't want to be that person but of late, I've caught myself making snide commentaries in my head at other drivers who cut me off, or of people who could clearly walk fast enough but choose not to. I question their person rather than their actions, or imagine something nasty about them, like maybe their dad was Jabba the Hutt.

    My philosophy is turning into: “Only help the people you care about, or at least respect. The rest, I expect a reward when I'm through!” It's just so damned cynical! D:

    It's...worrisome. :{ Then again, maybe I'm just being overly critical of myself, which is what I do thanks to my anxiety. :D
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2016
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  7. Imaginarily
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    Imaginarily Disparu en Mer Contributor

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    @Link the Writer I'm glad (and humbled) I was able to help you so much. :-D

    The same as in your writing, you must do you. If you're destined to become a sour, mean asshole, well then you be the sourest, meanest asshole you can be!
    strongindependentblackwoman.jpg

    *ahem*

    What I mean is, be confident. Whatever you turn into, turn into a confident version of that thing. You don't owe anybody anything, least of all those whiny cunts who scream "I'M OFFENDED!" whenever they see their worldview challenged.

    If you don't want to be a mean asshole, well then don't be a mean asshole. Just do whatever feels most natural for you, wherever that lands.

    ...I'm rambling. You know what I'm trying to say, man!
     
  8. Adenosine Triphosphate
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    Adenosine Triphosphate Old Scratch Contributor

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    Freakin' tourettism. I am really, truly not that anxious anymore, but the slightest bit of unease gives me so many facial tics that speaking becomes physically difficult. I can push through them if I really want to, but anything that makes the transition is reduced to a splintered, jittery mess, no matter how articulate it sounds on paper. I often find myself having to weigh the advantages of debating people with the consequences of looking like a complete nervous wreck while doing so.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2016
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  9. Wolf Daemon
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    Wolf Daemon Active Member

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    Hmmm... How to sum up my mental health issues.

    One one side I feel like the guardian of light, to where I protect kind, good-hearted, meaningful, caring people.
    One the other side I feel like if I don't keep my mind together every second of every day I will go mad and hurt people in cruel ways.
    And I believe all of this is caused by a monster that has stalked me since childhood.

    So everyday is a challenge without the random outburst of anger, or fear of getting stabbed by a stranger, or fear of myself.
     
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  10. lastresort
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    lastresort Banned

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    Maybe I need to be on antidepressants. I certainly suffer from anxiety and occasionally depression. Out of work now. I'm afraid of the future and ashamed of my past. Good material for writing is about all I have to say on that score. I think poor self-esteem is my root problem. Just don't think I'm good enough and that includes writing!
     
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  11. Jack Asher
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    Jack Asher Wildly experimental Contributor

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    I was visiting every month, but I don't mind because 1.) I live in a city and she was 10 minutes away and 2.) My state expanded medicaid and my visits cost me about $0.fuck-nothing.

    But that program got shut down, and my psychiatrist got fired and took off for India. So last Friday I got a new psychiatrist, also 10 minutes way, also who takes medicaid.

    The problem? Well first she's a resident. I'm not really holding that against her, but she has to check in with her superior after every visit, so I'm really seeing an actual psychiatrist by proxy. But the second one is that I need to get my meds changed and she's not willing to adjust anything until she's got a medical history and checked in with all my old docs. Considering she's my fifth psychiatrist in three years, she has a lot of homework to do.
     
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  12. Tenderiser
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    Tenderiser Not a man Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    It took me a long time to see a doctor about my anxiety, and I wish I'd done it years sooner. Those little pills are a godsend.

    ...but some days, still not enough. I'm having a bad day. Going to book some time off work next week to have a rest.
     
  13. Imaginarily
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    Imaginarily Disparu en Mer Contributor

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    Aww, @Tenderiser! :friend:Come over, we'll have smores.
     
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  14. Hubardo
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    Hubardo Contributing Member Contributor

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    Emotional stress is destroying my physical body. Wah.
     
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  15. lastresort
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    lastresort Banned

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    I just have to turn all this rumination, absolute terror and hopelessness into something positive. I have the ingredients. Just need a good recipe and chef.
     
  16. Link the Writer
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    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Once you find that recipe and chef, mind sending it my way? I could use it.
     
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  17. Hubardo
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    Hubardo Contributing Member Contributor

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    Session with an 8 year old today, wherein we pretty much just threw paper airplanes around, turned my frown upside down.

    Here is a thing about the critical inner voice. Good stuff.
     
  18. obsidian_cicatrix
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    obsidian_cicatrix I ink, therefore I am. Contributor

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    I'm here for a whinge if you folks don't mind. I've been getting really bad restless leg syndrome due to my meds. My pdoc and I decided to reduce my dosage by 200mg for a period of three months to see whether that sported out the problem. It didn't, and in turn my mind became a bit racey. So... do I quit the medication that has been keeping me on an even keel this past year, and try one of my doc's alternatives coctails, or do I put up and shut up? Decisions...decisions.
     
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  19. jannert
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    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

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    Any chance you're also iron-deficient? I know the medication for bipolar can trigger restless leg syndrome, but if that's accompanied by anaemia, it's worse. Supplementing with iron (if a blood test shows deficiency) might help.
     
  20. Tenderiser
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    Tenderiser Not a man Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    That's a tricky one. How much is the RSL affecting you?
     
  21. Adenosine Triphosphate
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    Adenosine Triphosphate Old Scratch Contributor

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    The interest fixation of autism can sometimes prove an advantage, even in people who lack savant powers, but the tics and repetitive body movements essentially seal the coffin as far as appearing normal is concerned. At best, they create an appearance of anxiety; at worst, they make us obviously, unnervingly different, and I imagine many outsiders take them as a sign of mental retardation.

    Strip away the worst sensory and organizational symptoms, exaggerate the proficiency for rote memory and mechanical detail, and the system remains a very different breed, even if it might no longer be solidly defective. Many will improve, but few will ever climb high enough to escape the DSM's criteria. Someone with a missing leg or a mild attentional disorder might speak of overcoming their disability; the autistic has the task of forging it into something flexible enough to survive.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2016
  22. obsidian_cicatrix
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    obsidian_cicatrix I ink, therefore I am. Contributor

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    @Tenderiser It's pretty bad right now. I've been messing with when I take my meds in order to ensure I don't start to twitch as I lay down to sleep, but it's not really working as I'm too tired during the day to get anything done.

    @jannert I was reading up this morning, and came to pretty much the same conclusion.... I'm gonna nip out later and grab an Iron supplement and see if it helps. My next appointment is in May but if I don't start to feel better in a few weeks, I'll give my doc a call. He'd rather I did that than suffer in silence, and by that point we should know if we should be looking elsewhere. Kidney problems run in my family and, from what I've read, that would be the next thing on the checklist. A lot of women get it towards the end of pregnancy, and at the age I'm at now hormone balance is up the left so that might be something else to look into.
     
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  23. jannert
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    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

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    I'd be careful about taking iron supplements without a blood test result showing you need them. They can build up to toxic levels, like most minerals can, and if you're not needing them, they can be dangerous to take. My husband is presently on iron because of his surgery, but the prescription is not a repeat. He'll need to get tested every time it's up for renewal, and once he's reached a stable level, they'll discontinue the tablets.

    It's most likely that your medicine for bipolar has helped to create this situation, and as you really need to keep taking these, it might help to look for balance in other areas. Iron deficiency is one possible area ...but only if your blood tests show that.
     
  24. Jack Asher
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    Jack Asher Wildly experimental Contributor

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    I would see what other options the doctor has. Some of the stuff that's come out in the last couple of years has a much lower incidence of side effects. I don't know how the pharmacies work in Ireland, but if it's been greenlit by the FDA here, it should be available there too, right?
     
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  25. obsidian_cicatrix
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    obsidian_cicatrix I ink, therefore I am. Contributor

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    @Jack Asher My doc mentioned on my last visit that there were a couple of approved meds from the U.S. he could try me on. I'm a bit loathe to as the full dose of Seroquel is balancing me out quite nicely. Gone is the frenetic energy, delusions. running my mouth off, nights with sod all sleep, and I feel reasonably energetic during the day. It would be a perfect fit but for these cramps that started eight months in. The reason I stayed off meds for so long was because my last consultant constantly tinkered with cocktails. I didn't know my ass from my elbow half the time. I think it's better to try and sort out and treat the side-effect at this juncture. If that fails, then I'll consider other options. I know at this point I can't mess around as the condition has definitely worsened as I've got older. Being unmedicated is no longer an option.

    @jannert Worry not... I get regular bloods done. It was remarked upon that my iron levels were uncharacteristically low last time, but not by a huge margin. I haven't been paying close attention to my diet of late, as I'm neither bingeing nor starving myself. Could probably do with a bit more green leafy veg and a steak or two, if I'm honest ;)
     
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