Mental Health Support Thread (NOT for giving medical advice, or debating)

3 weeks. With my first I only had a few days of feeling weird, but then she was also a remarkably great sleeper from the beginning so I was well-rested and able to cope. This baby is more normal and I'm quite sleep deprived which I'm convinced is making it all seem much harder to deal with.

 

My step-mother is a dentist, and she has told me a number of times that many of her patients report dreams of their teeth falling out. I've had naked dreams plenty of times, but never teeth falling out. I wonder why that happens. My most annoying recurring dream is that I'm driving a car and need to break, but no matter how hard I apply the break the car never quite stops.

 

Now to my new gripe...

So I got a job at Petco, right? I applied for a basic sales associate position, part time. I don't need the money or anything. I just wanted to get out of the house. I have no friends and my husband works long hours so I was alone the majority of the day. And I was starting to feel so worthless. I was essentially just a maid. Cleaning the house, doing laundry, etc. So when I got a job offer, I was really excited. But then I realized they weren't planning on giving me a part time sales associate position. It's a new store, so they're filling all positions, and they think I'd be good in multiple full time jobs.

Now that sounds great to some people... But of course, my anxious brain kicked in and I couldn't stop visualizing every awful scenario possible. If I took this full time position... What would happen to my marriage? We barely see each other now. With both of us working full time, we'll likely see each other even less. What about my novel? I just started writing the second draft. Working full time is going to take a lot of time away from my book. And my goal in life is to get that published.

So I freaked out a little. lol I thought about declining the full time spot and just working fifteen hours a week. But then my husband reminded me that thousands of married couples work and still spend time together. And I'll still have days off to work on my book. Plus, and this is what helped me the most... This doesn't have to be permanent. If I take the job and don't have enough time with my husband or want more days off, I can step down. I can get a new position in the company. I don't have to just accept it and struggle along. I can do whatever I have to do to make it work for me. And my manager is great, so I know she'll understand.

So... You're looking at (reading about? ) the new Merchandising and Operations Lead at Petco on Parham Road!

 

I read once that dreaming of teeth falling out means you have something you want to say but aren't saying it.

I have tornado and teeth falling out dreams pretty regularly too. Always so realistic and traumatizing.

But, I've also had some pretty incredible dreams where I could fly. If you haven't had them, you won't really understand but... They're the most magical dreams I've ever had. So liberating and peaceful. I wish I could have them every night.

 

I've had flying dreams too! They are so wonderful. And one where I was running and each bounding step took me miles at a time, so it felt a lot like flying. The exhileration and pure joy. I wish there were a way to induce those dreams

 

Baby Blues typically lasts about 10 days, so I'd consider ruling that out. My second one had acid reflux and protested sleep like it was a civil rights issue. Add to that the fact that I exclusively breast fed her, making it hard to get any real outside help with feelings, and had a pretty traumatic labor, PPD was almost inevitable. But I didn't get help. I suffered for a good three months, losing my mind and thinking I was the worst mother in the world. My point is that if you need help, there's no shame in getting it. Too many mothers suffer through this, and it is really totally justified. Being a mom to a newborn is so emotionally draining. PPD should be something we talk about so much more often than we do.

 

Wow, it really makes me glad that I'll never be a mother. >_> that sounds awful.

 

Thank you for that, I really appreciate it. I think I will seek help. I know it will probably go away on its own, but in the meantime I just feel unhappy and it's hard on my marriage. My second has digestion pain that the doctor assured me is normal, but it makes her extremely fussy at random intervals during the day and always at night. It's exhausting. I was only able to breastfeed my first for a couple months before my supply ran out, and this one only a couple weeks. So while it's nice that my husband can get up in the night to feed her a bottle, I admit I don't really feel bonded to this baby at all yet. I feel mild affection, but also an alarming amount of apathy as well, and it causes me so much guilt. I loved every stage of my first daughter's development, including her newborn stage, but with this one I just find myself wishing she'd get older and more interactive so we'd have good moments to balance out the frustrating ones.

I think I will talk to someone. I'd like to shake this feeling sooner rather than later. And you're right, I don't know why I feel shame about it.

The beginning bit is awful, but it really does get better. My first one is incredibly fun and entertaining now, and hilarious to talk to. It might get awful again in a few years, but right now, with her at least, it's pretty good.

 

Fantastic, Lea! In at the top. I'm just guessing (living overseas as I do) this is a pet store chain? If so ...wow. That would be so much fun to work with. I don't even have a pet, and I love to go into pet stores just to look around. When I was home 12 years ago, I went out and bought a huge rat cage for my sister's pet hamster. And I stocked it with all sorts of goodies and a big wheel that didn't make him bend his back to run on it. The little guy thought he'd gone to heaven. It was fun to do that.

 

Heh, teenagers are terrible. I mean I could have kids I'm not like infertile or anything, but the very thought of it sounds horrible. It's not a mistake you can reverse either. Unless you're sick like casey anthony. I hope things get better for @No-Name Slob though.

 

Yup, it's a pet store chain. It's only small animals (hamsters, rats, guinea pigs, mice, and ferrets), fish, and reptiles. But we have adoption groups bring in cats that are housed in our store (but volunteers with the group take care of them) and they bring in dogs on the weekend. I worked for Petco for a year about four years ago. It's a great company. Benefits, vacation time, and all major holidays off. And it's so fun to work at. It's not just a retail store to me. It's taking care of animals and making sure they get placed in good homes. And educating the customers is fun too. I really feel like I make a difference there.

My store doesn't open for another three weeks, and I'm really excited to just get started. I think this is going to be a fun new chapter in my life. And if it isn't? Then I change it!

 

That's excellent. I'm a little bit jealous, actually. I would have loved to work in a pet store.

 

There`s a nice big Petco in the same shopping plaza as Walmart here. I`ve thought about seeing if they had any positions open before, for a part time job or such. I just love the idea of working in a pet shop I just love animals, and working with them everyday and seeing them go to good homes seems epic. Congrats, on your job hope everything works out. If you're even half as enthusiastic as you come across about it you`ll do fine.

 

Good for you, sister! Your OBGYN is a great place to start, and should be able to help you.

 

I've had many teeth-falling-out dreams.

My recurring dream is being caught up in a tsunami or flood of some sort. I'm always the only one who can swim, so I'm trying to save my family as well as keep my own head above water. I don't think the origins of those dreams are much of a mystery, with my anxiety...

When I was a child my recurring dream was of running away from a dragon who'd got into our house. It sounds funny, but at the time they were terrifying: my mum and I would hide under the bed and I'd know we were about to die. I think I listed to my Puff the Magic Dragon tape too often before bed.

 

I had the worst nightmares as a kid. I once dreamed that my mom was gravely ill and the hospital decided to take her to a special facility. They didn't tell us where so my two brothers and I went on a quest to find her through a forest. On the way there, my middle brother sunk in quick sand and we couldn't save him and had to keep going. When my oldest brother and I finally arrived at the place they were holding my mom, they were sacrificing her to their Gods. I couldn't have been older than 5 at this time. About 18 years later, my mom developed breast cancer at the same time that my middle brother was so deep in the throes of heroin addiction that I thought we were surely going to lose him before he ended up in prison.

I always think dreams are so weird. To this day, I will any time I have a dream about my middle brother, he has relapsed. That's the only time I ever dream about him, so if it happens, I know to call him and ask about his recovery. Every time, he calls me back a few days later to tell me that he has to get clean again.

 

instead of teeth falling out i have back in school dreams. like i forgot i never finished and now have to go back and i hate it. it's apparently symbolism for things feeling out of control in my life. can't disagree with that interpretation at all. i've had the dreams so often this past year that i absolutely despise all thoughts of going back for further education ever. not that i was planning it.

 

My mother in law has really severe Bipolar, and a tendency to get off of her meds without telling anyone. She texted my grandmother saying that she wanted to kill herself and almost did it last night. She's visiting family in North Dakota. I called her as soon as I heard, and she's okay right now. She's about to eat dinner with family. I told her to please give me a call when she's finished because I'm worried about her and want to make sure she's okay.

I have this overwhelming sense that she needs to come home. She's not scheduled to leave until Thursday, but being in North Dakota always makes her depression so much worse because it reminds her of her parents who are now dead, and she always comes home saying that she feels isolated and cut off from the rest of the family. I'm not sure how to handle this situation. My husband is concerned, but after dealing with her suicide attempts and being in and out of mental hospitals, it seems like he's completely lost all motivation and exhausted all resources with her. I just don't think he has the energy to do it anymore.

I also hate her counselor. He's an idiot. She loves him, of course, but all she ever does with him is vent. Venting in a major depressive episode is not the most productive thing a counselor can encourage. She needs someone who will actually give her tools to get through these times, and make sure her medications are working.

 

@No-Name Slob I hope everything's okay. Will you be seeing her tomorrow? I can imagine it's very draining and worrying

 

She came home yesterday. My husband called my father in law and when she arrived, they went straight to a mental health hospital, where she will be staying until her medication gets regulated. Then I get a text from her that says, "Cops here. Going back to Springwood." I asked her what she was talking about, and she replied, "I escaped!!"

I guess the nurse left her in a room for too long during admittance, so she casually walked out of the hospital and began walking home. My father in law found her on the side of the road and took her home, where she took a nap. Then the police came to pick her up and take her back to the facility. Pretty long day, yesterday was ... Lol.

 

Further to my last post about my change of meds, I'm happy to report that after a few hiccups, I seem to be settling ok on Abilify. The first few days were rough as my stomach wasn't reacting favourably and my sleep pattern (which I constantly have to keep track of) was being messed up by bouts of vomiting and gut ache, and as a consequence of that my appetite suffered. Now I'm feeling much better physically, my hope is that the new drug will keep a lid on my manic and psychotic bursts without sedating me too much.

The weather here in Belfast has been lovely this past week. My daughter and I hit a nice spot on the coastline yesterday and I admired the view from the shade while she slapped on lotion and basked in the sun. I suspect I suffer quite badly from SAD so the rays have done wonders to elevate my mood. It's so much easier to be positive when I don't have to battle the elements.

Reading some of the previous posts has made me feel extremely grateful for living where I do. All my treatment is free. (Or when I say that, what I mean is that my taxes pay for my treatment, and complimentary drugs.) When I had my last serious breakdown where I had become a danger to myself, I was immediately hospitalised and put on suicide watch for a week while they rapidly stabilised me. I'm especially grateful as I have a long history of non-compliance when full-on manic. It's a safety blanket for sure. These folks look out for me when I'm incapable of looking out for myself. Long live the National Health Service! Despite what some folks might think, psychiatric care isn't always a matter of dollars and cents. (Although if the govt continue to degrade the present standard of care, I dread to think what the future may hold.)

 

Heh, respect for listening to the general consensus.

I just found it funny because, despite the golden gun ninja-cat riding a fire breathing unicorn, most people in the literary field can be extremely opinionated.

You throw a bunch of rabbits in a box and you don't have to worry about re population.

Thanks though. I may or not re-participate. It's just comforting to know that Staff pays attention.

 

Ugh... I think I'm finally going to see a sleep specialist. These hypnopompic hallucinations are becoming a bother.

Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night to see my bedroom completely symmetrical. Two writing desks, two doors to the hallway, two bathrooms, and no window. And the non-existent desk by my bed was decorated with small blue flags on sticks. There were at least twenty of them, ten or more on each side, sticking out like a halo. It took me a moment to finally get my bearings, and once the hallucination disappeared, I was able to go right back to sleep. But that was probably the most intense one I've ever had. Normally it's small things -- an image in the corner or a sound upon waking. Never my entire room.

Normally, I understand why I have them. A bad nightmare wakes me up and I see stuff because I woke up too fast. Or I'm particularly stressed, depressed, or anxious and they pop up more often. But things are fine right now. Sure, I'm a little stressed because I got offered a management position at work two days ago and I'm worried I won't be able to hack it. But I'm not so worried that it's causing me anxiety. That, coupled with the hallucinations growing in intensity, I'm worried there may be a deeper cause.

Should probably get it checked out.

 

My grandfather died on Saturday, somewhat unexpectedly. I have a court date tomorrow that I was supposed to be excused for, but I didn't hear back from my lawyers on Friday to confirm. I spent the weekend with family, trying to take care of my mom, cancelling and rescheduling various appointments, and worrying about what will happen if the funeral is the same day of my court date. Add to all of that trying to keep a cleanish house, get some writing done, taking care of two kids.

I woke up this morning to go to work, though it's supposed to be my day off, and this will be my 7th consecutive day of working. I feel unbelievably weak and exhausted. Simply saying "tired" doesn't even begin to cut it. I feel like I can hardly raise my hands above my head because my arms are jello molds. Despite the fact that I got ahold of my lawyers and everything worked out okay with the scheduling of my court date and my grandfather's funeral, I feel that the stress I've been under for the past several months is catching up to my physical state, beyond my emotional one, and I'm not sure how much longer I can go on without total adrenal collapse.

But there's no end in sight, and what additional stresses the future holds is entirely uncertain. Sigh.

 

@No-Name Slob

Sorry for your loss, that and the fact you've had a lot on your plate. I get the 'tired' thing. I'm feeling a lot like that myself right right now as my meds aren't controlling my mania quite as well as I'd like. Upshot of that is I have been bombing around like a three year old when I'm a half century. I've got aches in muscles I didn't know existed, and my head feels like it's spent too long on a carousel.

But... I've written something, at long last. Yay! I have a reason for being here, aside from being sick in the head.