Hey guys, how about including the original famous quote before mutilating it? It's just i personally don't know all of these quotes and they're a lot more funny when you do know it
“Atticus, he was a dickhead." "Most people are, Scout, when you finally see them.” - Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird “When you play a game of thrones you win or you go to jail, do not pass Go and do not collect $200.” - George R.R Martin, A Game of Thrones
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o the puddin'-race! (Address to a haggis: Robert Burns) Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great puddin' o the chieftain race! (Address to a drunken heckler: Me)
Revenge is a dish best served with some fava beans and a nice chianti. Doesn't really mutilate it though, does it?
Revenge is a dish best served after the main course, so as not to ruin the appetite. Would bold, but I haven't figured out how to highlight on my iPad yet.
Touch a word and hold, don't tap, it'll bring up a highlight box with two tags that you can drag to encompass more words.
In a similar vein Before setting out on revenge dig two graves (at least) unless you have a woodchipper and a pig farm
Syphilis is contagious, don't pass it on. Don't cry because it happened, cry because it is still happening.
Float like butter, sing and pee. Muhammed Alinot If anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also and tell him if you liked it. Jesus Effingkryste The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step and ends after two million. Lau Zoofoot Hert You must be the change you wish to see in the world because I'm a little busy with this bodacious American chick. Mahandy Gandhi STAR WARS Use derp force, Luke. -Oh Be One with Ken Oh Be TAKEN "If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will lock you in a room with Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton." -Lyin Mills
"That which does not kill us, gets a lighter sentence for the defendant." "Better to have loved and lost, than to have paid for a high priced hooker off Craigslist." "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: Bacon is awesome." "If at first you don't succeed, try, try, and then go write a blog about it."
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars, and a bill for your membership is waiting for you in your mailbox.
Every one of us is, in the cosmic perspective, Claireece Precious Jones. -Carl Sagan, discarded first draft of Contact Violence is the second to last refuge of the incompetent. Isaac Asimov Empathize with stupidity and you're halfway to thinking like a politician. -Iain Banks A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a massive increase in overtime at the gravedigger's union. -Josef Stalin
This may be an old one, but I still remember it written on an elevator wall in the mid 80's. Was either in university or at a seafood buffet at some hotel somehwhere. Does it matter ? Amounts to the same thing in either case. "God is dead." Nietzsche "Nietzsche is dead." God
