My alcoholism is over.

I'm pleased to report that the days of drinking too much are officially over. I tested what would happen if I went one night with no liquor and the results?

I'm starting to notice a distinct improvement in my health (mental and physical) since I stopped drinking. Anxiety level is lowered to near non-existence and I have more energy.

The craving is still there, but I will treat it with coke, sprite and tonic water.

Huzzah for me!!

 

In truth, it's the evenings I'm dreading now as those were my usual 'drinking times' when I would let myself drink anywhere up to two to three beers every day. Of course, it was at home but still...

But I'm going to take it one day at a time, indeed one hour at a time and just treat the cravings like my anxiety. I know it's there, but I don't have to listen to it. It's not the boss of me. I am the boss of it.

 

Two to three beers per day? That's almost nothing. You'll never properly damage your liver that way. I've been hospitalized with liver disease from drinking too much. I do not recommend it.

Good for you for stopping when you're drinking that little, though. Not drinking protects your health.

 

@minstrel - I had a distant relative who basically drank herself to an early grave. I don't want to meet the same fate; especially since she used liquor to treat her anxiety. Considering that I myself have anxiety...yeah, the last thing I need is to follow in her footsteps. Even if I don't drink myself to death, I would rather not have my entire life revolve around liquor.

 

Great job, Link!

Take it from me. Even if two or three beers a day doesn't seem like much now, it's still on the slippery slope of alcoholism. My mom and step dad used to drink two or three beers a day. Then they'd drink one at lunch and two or three at night. Then two or three at lunch and four at dinner. Eventually you can drink an entire case in one sitting without feeling drunk. So you take a few shots, have some wine or mixed drinks too.

Next thing you know, you're fifty years old and so wasted in public, you're yelling at strangers, eating pizza off the sidewalk, and peeing your pants.

Good thing to quit now before it becomes even harder. Proud of you!!

 

It's great that you were able to realize it was a problem for you before it became insurmountable. Even if two-three beers a day doesn't seem like a lot to some people, that doesn't matter. The hallmark of addiction is a negative impact on your life. If that was the case, good on you for doing something about it. It's no easy thing to overcome substance abuse.

 

2-3 beers a day is a lot

 

Good on you @Link the Writer !

 

Awesome, Link. Stay strong, you can do it. I've found that doing a lot of sports keeps me automatically away from alcohol because it's very unpleasant to work out if you've been drinking even a little bit. Maybe if you find a new hobby or something, that could help you stay focused. Or you could write a character who's a recovering alcoholic.

I'm inclined to agree. While my dad can drink 3 beers a night and he's fit as a fiddle, it was a different story for his brother and 2 sisters. Alcohol consumption can barrel out of control if things aren't quite so peachy keen in your personal life, and alcohol starts to provide a safety blanket of sorts from all the shit out there. So my uncle died, and my aunts, well, they look like functional members of society, but the truth unravels when you get to know them. They're train wrecks and have a lot of health problems. Unfortunately one of my cousins has taken after her mom. Combine affinity to liquor with the Mean Drunk complex and let me say, my dad's 60th birthday was a day to remember for sure...

So yeah, you don't wanna be that guy. Not for the sake of yourself and your liver, not for the sake of your friends/family and their mental health.

 

Somebody who is a heavy drinker shouldn't just stop, as they can get severe withdrawal symptoms. They usually need help, and help is available, in the form of support and certain short-term drugs.

However, it sounds as if you weren't in that category, @Link the Writer . You recognised the problem before it got too bad.

My husband was a heavy drinker for most of his adult life. It's a cultural thing here in Scotland. He didn't drink to escape anything, but simply because everybody around him drank all the time and he liked the taste and the camaradarie that went with hanging out in pubs. He was able to keep working as a journalist until he retired, and did a good job. However, he became physically addicted to the stuff, and up till the end of 2015, was drinking 8 pints of Guinness and lager per day, while congratulating himself on not drinking spirits or wine. As if there is a big difference.

Self-kiddology is also a symptom and a problem for alcoholics. His frequent bouts of vomiting and his one bout with a burst esophagus were attributed (by him) to all sorts of other causes. Because he drank all the time he was rarely hungry, and picked at his food—most of which was unhealthy, greasy stodge. Consequently he was also malnourished with high cholesterol and blocked arteries (partly attributed to smoking, which he also did a lot of until he quit around 15 years ago.) Not to mention his behaviour, which became crabby and unpredictible—when he is, at heart, a cheerful chappie who enjoys life.

Well, he was diagnosed that year with mouth cancer, directly attributed to the constant drinking. We've spent a year recovering from the surgery, and getting him back into workable shape again—as much as the blocked arteries will allow. He lost all his teeth, part of the side of his tongue, all the lymph nodes on one side of his neck, had to have a skin graft taken from his forearm to replace the tumour they dug out of his mouth. He was lucky. It not only didn't terribly disfigure him, because the surgeon was so skilled, but all the cancer was removed and he didn't require follow-up chemo or radiotherapy. The tumor was low-grade aggressive and unlikely to return.

However, he has had to give up alcohol entirely. He's done it, and his overall health is vastly improved as a result—as has his personality. But what a price to pay!

So stick with it. Don't go back to it. Your life will be vastly improved. And if you smoke, quit. Now.

 

Well done and good for you!
It's such a personal decision that only you can make in the end and I can relate to your comment about how much better you feel without booze.
You're probably finding you now get a decent night's sleep, you wake up without a hangover, you feel refreshed and those fleeting moments of paranoia have gone, I would imagine.
The cravings will take a while to dissipate and quite rightly you've replaced the beer with what you're comfortable with, which is especially important during those trigger moments. Many of us, myself included, can become slaves to the demon drink and it's very often a cruel master that plays by its own rules.
I realised I had a problem nearly ten years ago after a boozy lunchtime and the next day went to AA, which I carried on with for two or three years. One of the most frequently asked questions in an AA meeting is: How do I stop drinking? To which the veterans always answer: Just stop drinking. Simplistic yes, but there is no magic remedy apart from that.
I don't like dishing out advice, so only relate to how I handle it, which is finding the comfort zone without booze. I often avoided situations such as parties that involve alcohol because we all have the right to say NO, which is not so easy at first, but it does become so.
One day at a time is the right way and I´d wager that your writing will also benefit enormously.

 

I don't wanna step on Stephen King's toes.

But yeah, this is for the sake of my family and my own mental health. I think my liver's gonna be OK, but I'm sure it appreciates it too. I also decided to stop because I'm worried it's having a horrible impact on my long-term memory. :/ I can still remember plenty, but there's huge gaps of time that are just...gone, and the rest are hazy. I kind of hope my brain can 'rebuild' itself as it were, otherwise I'm kind of screwed with the brain I created due to my drinking.

I've noticed that if I drink tea or milk during the usual time I used to drink beer, it makes things easier. I guess half of it is psychological; my brain was so used to beer at 5 to 6 in the evening so it's going, "OMGWTF?!" So if I drink tea while doing the activities I enjoy, my brain will get used to it and make that my new hobby.

I'm very glad to hear your husband's doing all right. My grandfather died of cancer two years ago due to excessive smoking and drinking. He never quit until he was literally unable to smoke/drink. Alcohol (and smoking) seems fine in the short run, but it's the long-term that's the problem.

Rest assured that I don't smoke. I've been around smokers before and never understood the point of inhaling disgusting crap into your lungs.

 

To be honest though, I'd see the cancer as a blessing in disguise. Now he can properly enjoy the life he still has left, and you have your husband back - the cheerful man and not the unpredictable one consumed by alcohol. Like the cancer was a warning, and he's had a second chance.

@Link the Writer if any of your friends drink, watch out for that too. It's a lot more tempting when it's "just a social thing" (guess that's what Jannet's hubby did). Who you hang out with could affect a lot. So if you're trying to quit drinking, also pick your friends wisely. It may be considerate of them - but you'd have to ask them to I think - if they didn't drink in front of you, at least at the beginning, so there's no temptation. Friends can be a good one to hold you accountable - if your good friends know what you're trying to do, they can help keep an eye on you, encourage you to keep up the good work etc. Maybe, in the beginning, when you're struggling the most in the evenings, have a friend come over - or go to them. Enjoy a film together, get some pizza and popcorn, whatever floats your boat, go out for a walk. But friends can serve as a needed and welcomed distraction, as well as hold you accountable. It may be good to have at least one close friend who might be willing to drop everything they're doing and come over when you especially need help.

In the long run, keep an eye out on how much your friends might affect your drinking habit, and cut ties with those who would tempt you to backslide - or maybe not as drastic as cutting ties but do not meet those people in settings where social drinking is an expected thing.

 

At least among my friends it's acceptable to just drink diet coke or water or whatever non-alcoholic at a get-together, but of course, if your friends aren't supportive of your decision to cut back/quit, it's best to find new friends. The social pressure can be pretty bad, though, even if friends try to be supportive. They seem to be having so much fun... one pint won't hurt, right? But it's definitely easier to stay on track when you're surrounded with people who aren't that into partying and getting trashed.

 

That's all very good advice, @Mckk . And you're right about the 'blessing in disguise' bit. Now that it's all over and the worst has happened, it definitely is. I don't think he would have lasted much longer. His liver was a mess, his nutrition was a mess, everything was a mess. If it wasn't the cancer, it would have been something else.

Our biggest downer is the fact that he can hardly walk now, due to the blocked arteries in his legs. And there isn't anything that can be done to correct this. Even though he quit smoking 15 years ago, the damage was, apparently, already done. Smoking is more deadly than people realize. It can cause strokes, hardened arteries, emphysema (which killed my dad,) lip, mouth and throat cancer, as well as lung cancer. And of course it has a detrimental effect on people who are forced to live in close quarters with a smoker as well. I grew up in a house where both of my parents smoked, and while they aired the house out very frequently, I still suffered from sinus headaches that were really debilititating. Didn't attribute them to the smoking until after I moved away from home and they stopped. And then started back up again, years later, when I got married and moved in with my husband and his mother, who also smoked. (And died of lung cancer, four years after I got married.)

Alcohol, in small quantities, doesn't hurt. It's when you can't stop drinking even a small amount, or it makes you into an unpleasant or inept person, or you find yourself unable to function without it that there's a problem. Smoking, though? There is no upside. And fortunately now, in most circles, it's considered a very antisocial habit. Drinking, however, is still 'done.' And is sometimes expected.

 

It's not the quantity, it's the effect. I knew someone who started at AA and she told me she was drinking about half a bottle of wine a day and maybe the odd beer, but she knew she had a problem.
To me, at the time, it seemed a puny amount and I couldn't understand because I was always drinking.
My delightful booze replacement is a multi fruit drink mixed with Sprite and now I'm hooked on that...
I do however allow myself a drink about once or twice a month, at home doing a bbq or similar with my lady. It's a choice thing, a huge choice thing. The point being that you wrest control back from the demon.

 

@jannert - yeah I read somewhere that smoking changes your DNA permanently - the chemicals in the smoke actually mutates things deep in your cell biology and a lot of those things do not revert back even once you've stopped smoking. So the "damage is done" thing is definitely very real. In the Czech republic they still smoke everywhere indoors it's horrible. And the smoke often drifts into the non-smoking area anyway, or you gotta walk past the smoking area to get to the non-smoking spot (they always put the non-smoking spot inside at the back. I don't get it - then we'd get all the smoke anyway!) But the cigarette companies have politicians in their pockets so for years people were pushing for a smoking ban and failed. Apparently the law finally did get passed this year though and will be in effect in the summer - we will see if the Czechs actually abide by the law. Fingers crossed! Smoking is still such a common thing here - you go down to the street and there's always at least one smoker around. You sit with a table of Czechs and 9 out of 10 will be smokers, and smoking right there at the table is perfectly acceptable. It could be a class thing here too - the upper class tend to be a lot more health-conscious.

@big soft moose - what you said about the 2-3 beers a day makes double the recommended amount of alcohol for a man per week is quite insightful. Because 2-3 beers a day didn't sound like a lot to me either - but I guess that's exactly how you get addicted. Everyone knows drinking several bottles a day is bad and most wouldn't do it - but 2-3 beers? Ah, harmless, right? Until it isn't anymore, but you've still got "it's just 2 beers!" in your head so it's even actually difficult to see there's a problem at all.

 

Drinking culture is another huge influence and being British I was part of it. Where I live now, Argentina, the culture is entirely different and many moons away from a drinking culture, although they are trying hard to catch up.

 

I used to consider myself an alcoholic. The small sense of bliss I get afterward was enough to make me forget the things I wanted to forget. So far I've become much better. I still indulge from time to time but it's safe to say I've overcome the urge to drown myself in alcohol.

 

^ Same here, @SimpleReason .

I think one of the most obvious reason my alcoholism got worse was due to the whole Trump thing. My already natural anxiety increased when he became president and started doing things that I feel will hurt America in the long run. So I treated it with alcohol, two every day with three on Fridays. I justified it with, "Well, if the world's screwed anyway, I don't see why not." Then it became an unconscious habit that I just could not stop.

So far, I've remained beer-free since Sunday. I drank tonic water last night, and it was good. I think tonight I'll have tea.

 

Trump affected you that hard huh. Well it's good to see someone else getting over the dependancy. More power to you.

 

Hang in there. If somebody had told me years ago that I would be living in a smoke-free environment IN PUBLIC I would have been highly skeptical—especially here in Scotland where lots more people smoked than I was used to. But the smoking ban has made such a huge difference. Of course it does need to be enforced, but if it is, it has a wonderful effect. Not only are people who don't smoke FINALLY able to go around and do normal things, like eat out, go to a bar, ride public transportation, visit a public building, etc, without being subjected to smoke, but it has certainly motivated lots of people to quit. Suddenly THEY are the pariahs, who have to go stand out in the rain to smoke, rather than the rest of us having to go stand out in the rain to get away from it. Indoor cleaning bills are much lower as well.

The down side is, when you are outdoors, like at bus stops or passing doorways, etc, there will be people smoking around you, which is irritating if you're downwind. There are also a LOT of discarded cigarette butts around as well. But overall, wow. What a difference.

There is a ban coming into effect soon (maybe it already has) where people are not allowed to smoke in cars any more if children are in the car as well. Taxi drivers are not allowed to smoke with customers in the taxi with them. These bans are very popular, by the way.

I feel sorry for people of my parents' generation, because they were not informed of the harmful effects of smoking. In fact, it was considered beneficial to health, in some cases. (!!!) Smoking was considered to be 'wicked' in some circles, or too sophisticated for young people, etc, but it was almost a rite of passage. It was certainly not considered dangerous to health. However, folks my age and younger? We were beginning to be told, even as early as the 1960s, that it was harmful to smoke. Anybody who started since? Well....

 

That's a bad habit I need to get rid of next.

 

We're here for you if you need it.

IDEA!! Let's make this the official 'Alcohol/Drug Addiction Support Group' thread.