My Golden Orb!

Immediately I leap to my feet and commit Grand Theft Bicycle. Is it even a crime? Do I look like I care?

The paperboy crashes into the gutter and I begin to pedal after souji. The car in front of me stops at some traffic lights. Where are the goddamn breaks on this thing? Too late. My front wheel hits the bumper and I am flying through the air.

Bang. I land with a thud on the roof of the van and I can see souji sitting at the wheel with my orb on the passenger seat. Using my laser eyes I cut a hole in the glass, reach through and steal my orb again.

The traffic lights change again and I leap onto the roof of a passing car as it drives away. Haha!

My orb!

 

As i put a hand on the passenger seat to pet my pretty i realize its not there.

Souji: Where'd all this sun come from?

I look in the rearview mirror and see and orb thief hanging from the traffic light. "Why that......(countless unpermitted expletives)" i throw the van into reverse and order on of my agents to get in the drivers seat while i prepare the "Othman Gun".

The van is reversed to the light and Jade feels a cold metal on her leg. She looks down and is staring down a giant rail gun.

Jade: You wouldn't!
Souji: It was meant for someone else but,

A cruel smile replaces my face as i see Jade flee for her life leaving the orb in my possession again. I kiss it and tell the driver to head home.

 

Souji steps into his house and turns on the light to find that I am sitting at the table holding a machine gun and smiling sweetly.

Jade: Bad day?

The puny railgun is no match for my uber machinegun. After helping myself to all of the cookies and Oreos in his cupboard I open the door.

Jade: Sic him.

An angry honey badger charges at souji and I make my escape, cackling as I run down the lawn into the night.

 

Doc: How'd this happen?
Souji: Cookies...oreos and the frickin' flangin' badgers are back.
Doc: What?
Souji: Nothing just remove the teeth.

After my appointment with my doctor to have the honey badger teeth removed from my posterior i use the tracker i slipped into its collar to track it to Jade's current location. My butt still hurts so ive got a funky walk.

I come to a fancy club house where there is classical music playing and people dressed in whites playing tennis and lawn bowls. I find Jade crowded by a group of people,

Jade: ...and then i took his oreos too.

There is laughter all around but not for long as i pull out my father's fishing rod and whip the line over to where Jade is and snatch the orb. i reel it in slowly and decide to slowly walk away from the scene because i am always caught when i run

MY ORB!!!!

 

Honey badgers huh? Nice.

Zombies, charge! (That's right, I survived. One of my loyal braindead servants took the worst of the blow. Did have to replace some limbs though... But hey, I have an army of moving bodyparts!

My main force collapses with the honey badgers, and I have my artilery take out Jade's air troops. After an epic battle that takes seven days, the honey badgers emerge victorious...

In the mean while, my super-super-sneaky zombie stealth squad tells me Jade no longer has the orb... Seem Souji has it. So, I send my SSS Z SS to retrieve it. After a while, they return, with a new addition; Souji is now the newest addition to my elite zombie squad!

My orb! Now let's hide for those badgers...

 

For all his super sneakyness CG is not paying much attention as i mount a spot light at the scene and see him trying to creep (see avatar). i catch him even though its broad daylight, he drops the orb and instinctively puts his hands up. it rolls over to the ORB MASTER!!!!

MY ORB!!!!

 

The orb master? That's me, not you. I pick up the orb and my honey badger bodyguard growls at souji.

Wow, that was simple.

My orb!

 

i grab it back and kick the badger bodyguard over the startled CG for a conversion, who is soon followed by Jade,

Wow...THAT was simple!!!!

MY ORBB!!!!

 

I kick the honey badger back at souji. The enraged beast hits him in the chest and the two fall off a cliff. (Yes, I'm being lazy )

My orb!

 

Now badger-bodyguard-less (is that a word?), I simply start poking Jade.

CG: *poke*
Jade: Stop it!
CG: *poke*
Jade: Seriously, stop it!
CG: *poke poke poke poke poke poke*
Jade: ARGH! I swear to ***, if you poke me one more time, I...
CG: *poke*

Jade starts twitching, I grab the orb and run for it. However brief this victory may be, for now it is

MY ORB!

 

the poking CommonGoods has given CommonGoods a... finger cramp! and CommonGoods hold the finger and drops the orb. But BatCountry leaps from behind and drop a potato sack over CommonGood's head, rendering CommonGoods blind. BatCountry picks up the orb and goes somewhere else.

 

Hello! Thanks for recreating the game for me. I wasn't on this site for 1 year or so. Can anyone tell me how many posts it got? I would be interested. Anyway.. i'll continue.

"I follow bat closely behind, as he goes to the dreadful place called... 'somewhere else'. As bat camps beside a tree, i use my incredible monkey skills to scale a tree, pull out my bow, draw back and shoot. The arrow goes, making a whizz sound as it flies, and smacks straight into a large apple. I pull on the rope and the apple comes flying back to me. Yummy! *i eat the apple*. Now that i am satisfied, i drop down from the tree and land on bat, knocking him unconscious, and breaking my own back. As i lie there helpless, i see that the orb is right next to me. I reach out to the orb, and take it. Then i die, and go to heaven, with the orb still in my hands. NOW NO ONE SHALL GET IT! MUAHAHAHA!"

 

but when Daniel reached the pearly gates, he was sent to hell because falling off a tree and killing yourself = suicide and suicide isn't allowed. So as he falls into the deepest pits of Hades, a harpie comes out of nowhere and steals the orb and a time-space continuum or something drags the harpie back into earth where it crashes into an apple tree and falls to the ground unconscious. oh, and it drops the orb. that apple tree is conveniently the tree where BatCountry lies unconscious. BatCountry wakes up and notices the orb and picks it up. He decides 'somewhere else' isn't safe enough and decides to go to 'nowhere in particular'

 

My orb!!

Sorry, but do I really have to relay the whole god-damned story to you guys??

Fine, as Bat was walking in a cornfield which was conveniently near a certain apple tree, I felt a little peckish. But when I got to my beloved I found that she had been harvested (This is a different apple tree (it's right next to the original one))!! So I flew into a rage and ran past a harpie, who I woke by pissing on it. The harpie told me how to find the orb and then I stabbed it with a nearby arrow.

So then I followed the orb's scent and found Bat, whom I killed doobeedoobeedoo. =( no heaven, it would seem Bat hadn't invested in an arrow proof skull and these arrows are marvelous!!

My orb!!

 

Hand me the orb.

Thanks.

My orb

(And welcome back Daniel. No idea how many posts there were in the end, but there were a -lot- of them (I being responisble for more the a few). Really enjoyed the old thread, definitly enjoying the new thread )

(Also, I'm kind of sneaking this in during one of my classes, so there's no time to create an epic long post.)

 

Whew, i never really expected the game would get that far. The last time i checked on it there were 22 pages of it.

My post:

I was walking through the street on market day peering at all the items, searching for Common Goods to buy. Then i saw him, tied up at a stall, holding a glowing golden orb.
"I'd like to buy CommonGoods please," I said.
"Oh, yes, of course. An odd looking harpie drenched in something that didn't smell too good sold it to me for 1$. So i suppose you can have him for 2. And take this thing he's holding too. It blinds me like king neptunes balding head."
"Thanks!" I said, and flew off with the devil wings i gained while in hell.

 

Hehehe, made 2 dollars!

I wonder how long it takes till he figures out I sold him a coconut that I painted yellow.

Still my orb!

 

star stiffles a manacial laugh from behind the vendor.

'i wonder how long it will take cg to figure out he's holding a yellow tennis ball?', she thought to herself.

backing up, star gently rolls the golden orb around in her hand. pocketing it, she snags an apple from a nearby stall. quick hands, essential for pick pocketing.

 

star doesn't realize that i'm so desperate for the orb that i'm browsing the site on my mobile. with my new cloaking device no one can see me as i extend a slender game into star.s pocket and reclaim the orb! MY ORB! mobile style

 

Othman is ashamed that he goes on the same forum as the guy above, to portray his extreme disgust and contempt he steals the orb in the only way he appears to know ... With a M4A1 at his shoulder and the GPS thingy which can track souji's phone he reclaims the orb after showering the entire market in blood ... I'll spare you guys the detail.

My orb!

(by the way, I didn't participate in the old thread, so how big is the orb ... 'cause I was thinking it was football (soccer in UsoA) size)

 

BG_Hambone, watching the orb-battle from afar, decides it is time for action. He summons the Detroit Red Wings hockey team. After a thrilling chase, Goaltender Chris Osgood and Right-Winger Henrik Zetterberg check Othman into a nearby building. The golden orb pops out of his hands and into BG_Hambone's possesion.

"YOU WANT THE ORB? YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH MY MATES HERE!" he shouts as thirty Hockey players surround him.

My orb.

 

BG is ignorant enough to think that a mere 30 hockey players will protect him...i laugh at him as i rise from the bloody market and call upon my 30 new zealand all black friends. Dan Carter insists that they do the haka before they go and pummel the equipment wearing panzies and bring the orb back to me.

MY ORB!!!

(i always pictured the orb to be about just smaller than a football, maybe just small enough to put in your pocket or purse. but i guess it changes sizes because ive seen it hidden in many places)_

 

star scoffs at the idea of new zealanders. they don't scare her! (although 30 might.....)

can you really blame her for doing what any sane girl would do?

star screamed and collapsed in a dead faint.

"is she dead?" the leader asked, poking her in the side. souji laughed, "hopefully."

as quick as a flutter of her dark lashes, star grabs the orb from the leader's pocket and dashes off. a string of curses followed in her wake.

"good thing i was a high school track star" star laughs to herself and disappears into the library.

 

Othman woke up surrounded by books and thanked the fictional character, God, for taking him into hea- ... star had just ran right past him. Othman sighed, another orb snatcher, when will they ever learn? Othman pockets a particularly old looking manuscript and runs off in hopeful pursuit.

After running out of breath for the second time Othman decides to just shoot star in between the shoulder blades. Star collapses surrounded by books and very old people, after prising Star and the orb from a very bloodthirsty looking granny he took the orb and dragged star's corpse onto the roof for the crows, "Waste not, want not!"

My Orb ... My old manuscript written in very old and illegible Arabic!

 

ORB GRAB 100!

BG_Hambone leered at the library before him, and the mysterious figure upon the roof. He drew an arrow from his water-tight quiver and smiled to himself as he lit the end of the gasoline-doused weapon and drew the string taut. With a satisfying "whoosh!" the flaming arrow sailed effortlessly through the air, penetrating the manuscript, and setting it alight. Frightened, Othman dropped the orb over the ledge. Luckily, Hambone caught it moments before impact.

MY ORB!