1. debbiepanell
    Offline

    debbiepanell Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2007
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NC

    My rinky dink local newspaper

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by debbiepanell, Sep 20, 2007.

    I'm not sure why I bother to subscribe to it, because, well...let's face it - I live in rural North Carolina, and the paper has a staff of about 3, and most topics revolve around how 'evil' big businesses are going to ruin the already dying towns and the local weather conditions ( farm country, remember).

    Last summer they took on two interns from local colleges. Neither of which I thought had much talent - but it was rare you would see an article from them, so no matter.

    Well, internship over, kids go back to college, but one is working as a 'special' freelance writer to the paper.

    I know its me - his grammar is fine, and he seems reasonably intelligent (I guess) but I can't stand his writing style! His introductions are usually fine - but once he gets to the middle (and especially the end) he turns into a bag of metaphors and visual statements and I can just see him scouring a thesaurus for alternate words!

    I know, a lot of people like that kind of writing, and I do too - when it serves a point. But something about this guy just IRKS me.

    Here's some examples. I'm sure he's a really nice kid, and he just needs to learn his own voice (in my opinion, which is worth about a half a cent! lol)

    "Here I am at your alter once again, offering only my words as reflections from afar, with hope to influence the lives of others as my life has been influenced over the summer.

    So, before we start another day together, you and I and the hundreds of miles between us, I trust that your faiths will never falter and your keenness to my unconventional columns will stay at its peek."

    and

    "It’s really a fault sometimes, but being a foolhardy, hopeless dreamer can have that effect over time, which brings me to my final point as I retire that innocent cloak as summer intern.

    You as a community have shared an endless amount of acceptance toward my dear pal John Benning and me, and for that I am forever in your service, though not as summer intern.

    With endless support and animating words you have helped me as a lowly summer intern steady on and persevere into what I can now consider a decent writer.

    Your beautiful minds have inspired me to be successful and acknowledge another beautiful garden to bear my fruit *— life without limits.

    So now I sweetly surrender to you all in gratitude and in promise to always stay devoted to emotion as a writer.

    Without emotion, a beautiful mind only wilts into meaningless words. "

    Is it just me? Am I being overly critical? I don't know this kid ( hell, i think hes 21), I think hes hiding his talent by writing like that.

    maybe I just need to go back to bed....lol

    and cancel my subscription. lmao
     
  2. Domoviye
    Offline

    Domoviye Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2007
    Messages:
    1,369
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Proud Canadian. Currently teaching in Nanjing, Chi
    If he's a reporter he should avoid such flowery language. Get to the facts.
    If he's a columnist then this is alright. Not what I'd read, but columnists can be as flowery as they like. Although he probably won't be picked up by any other paper in existence.
    But in either case, I agree with you it doesn't really fit in with what a regular newspaper should be writing.
     
  3. mammamaia
    Offline

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,316
    Likes Received:
    1,014
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    hopeless!... what the bleep kinda newspaper is this, anyway?... godawful grammar, rife with goofs that even a beginner should be able to see, and purple prosy to the point of puke-provoking...

    he's not hiding his talent, honey... he jest ain't got none!
     
  4. debbiepanell
    Offline

    debbiepanell Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2007
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NC
    I was trying to be nice...lol

    puke provoking - yup - you hit the nail on the head!
     
  5. Cogito
    Offline

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    35,935
    Likes Received:
    2,043
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    I wouldn't go so far as to assume he has no talent. But he isn't exhibiting much.
    My first impression was that English is not his first language.

    But it is pretty horrible, if those are representative samples.
     

Share This Page