1. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    My son's winning poem.

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by GingerCoffee, Oct 25, 2013.

    Sherman Alexie had a poetry contest a while back. The requirement was to include all the disparate words on a list. People had to write fast because he only accepted the first 50 entries which only took a very short time. There was one winner and 4 additional finalists, my son was a finalist and here's the poem:

    Skyscrapers rake the air in a perverted photosynthesis,

    scratching at the energy they need to carry on living.

    It takes so little and there is much to spare;

    Earth is more robust than the tower cares to admit.

    Once, one of them escaped to the forest, to compete with the trees;

    it didn't work out. They found it, felled, in a field of lavender. The smells

    proved too much.

    Later, the steel beams rooted

    and an apple tree grew from the decaying corpse;

    too bad we all hate granny smiths.
    I'm beaming. :D
     
    MsScribble, Lemex, Komposten and 4 others like this.
  2. Dean Stride
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    Dean Stride Contributing Member

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    He's right, I'm more of a gala fan.

    I have to say I love this, and not just because simplicity is my weakness, but also because of its (seemingly) straightforward meaning. This is the type of poetry I like to see, and it cheered me up quite a bit. Many thanks to your kid!
     
  3. thirdwind
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    thirdwind Contributing Member Contest Administrator Reviewer Contributor

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    Congrats to your son!
     
  4. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I love the images it creates, the double meanings. I don't quite get the poem, but not because it's confusing, but only because it seems to have more layers than I can comprehend right now. Makes you think in a pretty and relaxed way, because you're filled with the images of blue sky and apple trees and towering flowers.
     
  5. Duchess-Yukine-Suoh
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    Duchess-Yukine-Suoh Girl #21 Contributor

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    Congrats, Ginger and son! Your son's almost as as good a writer as you. Maybe it's genetic. :)
     
  6. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    These were the rules:
    1. The competing poets must use these 5 words in their poems: robust, apple, hate, skyscraper, and lavender.
    2. The poem must be ten lines or less.​
     
  7. Duchess-Yukine-Suoh
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    Duchess-Yukine-Suoh Girl #21 Contributor

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    This is random, but @GingerCoffee, how old is your son?
     
  8. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Good show, wot wot! :D
     
  9. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    24
     
  10. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    a brilliant piece of poetic profundity!
    in all aspects... i can't imagine why it took a backseat to the winner... can you give me the link to the winning entry?

    i can next to never use that word in re new poets' work and i've been mentoring aspiring poets for decades, so i hope you'll pass my kudos on to your son... does he write poetry on a regular basis, or did he just toss this off for fun?
     

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