1. zoupskim
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    zoupskim Contributing Member Contributor

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    Names

    Discussion in 'Setting Development' started by zoupskim, Feb 4, 2016.

    These are some of the words and slang I have invented to use in my story. I would appreciate critiques, judgments, and derision. No kind words please, I need to fail fast so I can get to the right spot.

    Places-

    Andella- The first planet colonized by humanity. A young, Goldilocks planet with one large continent and one large ocean.

    New Linz- A huge industrial and mining city. Home to a large population of colonists descended from European ancestors.

    Veldore- Small cultural center and research city. Home to the primary mechanisms of government and a population deeply entrenched in nationalistic beliefs.

    Concepts-

    Sepukai- A human who has a high chance of producing inbred offspring, leading to them being viewed as lesser humans.

    Synapse Soldier- A soldier who has been digitally linked to all available battlefield information, giving them tactical and strategic omniscience.

    Slang-

    Fuzz- Slang for Sepukai.

    Straft- Lobotomized prisoner. Derived from the German word Straffen, meaning tight, strict, or close fitting.

    Battlekiss- Military slang for being superficially wounded in battle.

    Lance- To melt or burn something with a heat based weapon.

    Supercharge- To fire quickly without properly aiming or even choosing a target.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2016
  2. izzybot
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    izzybot Human Disaster Contributor

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    I'm not sure there's any wrong or right answers anyway can give you. If you're looking for opinions on whether the names you've come up with sound silly or something, that's largely a matter of taste. If you're wondering if they make sense, that's really dependent on how you use/introduce them in your story.

    All I can say is that 'sepukai' makes me think of 'seppuku' and 'fuzz' is slang for the cops where I'm from, so if these terms were introduced in something I was reading those are the associations I'd make for them. It wouldn't kill my enjoyment or immersion but I'd probably snicker a bit.
     
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  3. furzepig
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    furzepig Member

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    I liked "battlekiss," "lance," and "supercharge" as slang terms. I can see how the slang could be related to the concepts. If German is an important loanword language in your world, I can see "straft" too, although it might puzzle readers who don't speak German. I don't really get the connection with "fuzz," though, and izzybot's right that the association with police is pretty strong, at least in the U.S. Agreed as well on seppukai/seppuku.
     
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  4. Tenderiser
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    Tenderiser Not a man Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    I've picked out the ones I don't like, since you asked. The rest I'm positive or neutral about. I particularly like straft and battlekiss.

    In general I echo @izzybot that you can't please all tastes. But I do think names are important - I've always thought part of Harry Potter's appeal is Rowling's ability to pick really apt names for people, places and made-up things.

    I don't know why I don't like it. 'Linz' just doesn't sound right.

    Sepukai sounds like a positive trait to me. Maybe because it makes me think Samurai.

    Makes me think of the police.
     
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  5. zoupskim
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    zoupskim Contributing Member Contributor

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    The Fuzz/police thing is a total blind spot for me, and a huge problem. Changes will be made. Thank you.

    Continue the derision. Deconstruct. It. All.
     
  6. terobi
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    terobi Contributing Member

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    Is the implication that the terms and slang are supposed to be a mash-up of different languages? Some of those terms look clearly derived from Japanese, others German. If that's the case, it's fine. If they're supposed to be a single language, you might want to make them have the same "flavour". And yes, sepukai makes me think immediately of seppuku too.

    "Synapse soldier" sounds oddly formal and descriptive for a world where there are specific names and slang terms for these things (when was the last time you heard someone refer to their laptop as an "analytical engine", for example - it'd just feel out of place).
     
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  7. zoupskim
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    zoupskim Contributing Member Contributor

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    There is going to be a loan language, and I am playing with either Japanese, German, or Finnish.
     
  8. King_Horror
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    King_Horror Member

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    Well, since you specifically asked for no kind words, I will, albeit grudgingly, not hold back.

    Andella is an interesting name, however, it having just one continent and one big ocean is very BLAND. Maybe add a few small continents, a massive volcano, or deadly waterspouts would do. Try adding a moon or two for extra points.

    Linz sounds a little too much like "Lens" to me. Maybe because my parents both work in the optical field, (Glasses), but even so. I suggest something along the lines of "New Zkim."

    I also would suggest you change Veldore. Dore, IMO, is sounding a lot like "Door." Why not try "Velconn Prime."

    Like everyone else, Sepukai is too similar to Seppuku. I got nothing on that, but you seem to have a steady imagination, so you'll most likely think of something.

    And that about covers it. auf Wiedersehen~
     
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  9. bossfearless
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    bossfearless Active Member

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    Synapse Soldier seems a bit wordy. Maybe shorten it a bit. In a 40k novel I read at some point, there was a similar concept called a Cept (short for Perception). A group of commanders (all young girls, oddly enough) who shared a neural load through a psychic link. So if we're shortening Synapse Soldier, maybe SynSol, Snap, Snaps, or maybe just go with a fancier or nastier sounding word for soldier, like Soldat or something.
     
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  10. bossfearless
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    bossfearless Active Member

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    Andella doesn't sound right for the first human colony. I think Halo actually scored the perfect hit for this concept: Reach. That was a great first colony name, something along those lines. Pathfinder I. Horizon. Vision. That's the kind of thing we slap on our exploratory spacecraft, so I figure a first colony will be something like that.
     
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  11. zoupskim
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    zoupskim Contributing Member Contributor

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    Spoiler... Synapse Soldier, a soldier reading into all information constantly, is usually abbreviated to SS by allied soldiers.
     
  12. terobi
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    terobi Contributing Member

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    Like these guys, you mean?
    [​IMG]
     
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  13. zoupskim
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    zoupskim Contributing Member Contributor

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    Synapse soldiers chuckle at the comparison. The 'Schutzstaffel' focused inward, shunning new ideas and destroying thought, whereas 'Specialists' reach outward, absorbing every piece of information they can, seeking to keep the military informed and ahead of their enemy.
     
  14. doggiedude
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    doggiedude Contributing Member

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    Andella- The first planet colonized by humanity. A young, Goldilocks planet with one large continent and one large ocean.
    I liked this one

    New Linz- A huge industrial and mining city. Home to a large population of colonists descended from European ancestors.
    This seems like it needs another syllable like New Linzy

    Sepukai- A human who has a high chance of producing inbred offspring, leading to them being viewed as lesser humans
    Not sure what you mean by this. inbreeding means breeding within ones own family line. Are these people genetically attracted to their sisters? More likely you're trying to say that these people have a lot of genetic errors in their DNA leading to some sort of mutated offspring.

    Personally try to avoid using names with too much emphasis of the letter K or Z only because those letters seem so overdone in Sci-Fi and Fantasy works.
     
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  15. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    I like them except for Sepukai, why so Japanese, and New Linz, why so German? To me it makes sense to either sound international, alien, or specifically cultural. I suppose you could do some culture mix thing like Firefly's American/Chinese fusion.
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2016
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  16. zoupskim
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    zoupskim Contributing Member Contributor

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    No, I do mean family line. The colonization process is dangerous and the trip is long. The colonists begin to start families, but shorter lifespans due to radiation, accidents, malnutrition, and a lack of new colonists leads to inbreeding. The age difference between new generations begins to blur, and the list of potential mates who don't share some ancestry is limited. Eventually, everyone on the planet is related in some way.
     

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