1. Defender
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    Defender Senior Member

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    need a phrase as opening to story

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Defender, Feb 9, 2016.

    so basically the story starts with the awakening of a Defender, a cyborg human, for the purpose of fighting for humanity, after awakening, the defender is put through a diagnostic test, and then a female assistant or something, leads him to the citadel where the city's steward, is waiting, to brief him. Any ideas?
     
  2. Defender
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    Defender Senior Member

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    Forgot to put, would need to phrase as opening to story :)
     
  3. Tenderiser
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    Tenderiser Not a man Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    We can't write your book by committee, Defender!

    Whatever line you start with will almost certainly NOT end up being your first line in the final draft. So just write whatever comes to mind and worry about perfecting it once you have a first draft written. If you get hung up on every detail along the way, you'll never get a draft out.
     
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  4. Defender
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    Defender Senior Member

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    oh no im so sorry i did not mean to give off that impression, all my questions were based on my weaknesses as an amateur writer, like, ive never been able to write the beginning of a story to my liking, so i never end up finishing! i was not asking for anyone to write it for me, just merely asking if anone knew how i should do it, as i am very bad at it sorry for the mistake :)
     
  5. Tenderiser
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    Tenderiser Not a man Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Don't apologise. I was only teasing. :)

    You're in the same position most amateur writers are, but you can buck the trend and actually finish a novel. You just need to churn it out and not worry about whether it's perfect, or if the opening has a good hook, or any of that. Once you have those 80,000 words down, you've done more than 99% of would-be authors. There's no harm in asking for advice along the way, for sure, but try not to get bogged down in detail. Like I said, whatever you choose as your opening now probably won't be the opening of your finished novel. You might find that Chapter 3 becomes Chapter 1. Just write and see what comes out :D
     
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  6. Defender
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    Defender Senior Member

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    lol i get it now :) , well im going to begin now, and when im finished ill probably post it, and i just wanted to thank everyone who helped me out patiently every time i had a question and if its alright with you guys id like to pay my respects when the story is finished by including all of your names in my special thanks part of the book?
     
  7. Michael Pless
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    Michael Pless Active Member

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    You might also try Googling the best opening lines and look at those for inspiration. As Tenderiser said, it's unlikely whatever you write will remain as the opening sentence, although there is also some chance it will.

    From my perspective, I don't even know your POV!

    I like a short, punchy sentence, but some great stories have quite lengthy openings, but they're probably for books written when "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." ;)
     
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  8. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    I've completely rewritten the beginning of my story about a dozen times now. @Tenderiser's right, just keep going and come back to it.

    The first time I decided on the beginning I was about halfway through the book. The beginning I have now is nothing like it. And who knows, I may change it again. :p
     
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  9. Defender
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    Defender Senior Member

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    Well I'm at fault here I did not mean opening phrase, but more like the way I start the story, like for example the character awakens in a white room and is put through a test diagnostic by an operator before a human assistant arrives and guides the defender to the citadel to speak with the city's steward, the keeper and go will brief him on the alien menace before sending him to assist other defenders fend of an alien supply raid, this is the opening paragraph, but I can't think of how to put it so it sounds like an opening paragraph!
     
  10. zoupskim
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    zoupskim Contributing Member Contributor

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  11. Defender
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    Defender Senior Member

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    That is amazing, thank you soooo much, also might disappear from the forum, tomorrow as I will be going on vacation, thank you all, ill be back soon thnaks again!
     
  12. Nicoel
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    Nicoel Contributing Member

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    Oh dinna fash about how good it is. I feel like I can properly call myself a writer, because I've actually finished a book before. Is it any good? No. Is it utter shit? Yes. Would I use it as a torture device to extract information....? Possibly. ;)

    Point is, don't worry about it. The feeling of typing 'The End' is the best there is (it's ceremonial, don't judge).
     
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