1. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    Need an embarrasing incident.

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Elgaisma, Feb 27, 2011.

    OK This scene happened and I need a motivation behind it other than the usual it was a relationship - kind of like she saw him naked in elementary school or something stupid like that. I don't want anything major but want it blown out of all proportion.

    When he gets to the sofa he stops. His mouth opens. He stares at Emily. His mouth clasps shut and his lips purse.

    'Jason this is Emy.' Gus introduces them.

    Jason shuffles a bit, 'Hi Emy. Nice to meet you again.'

    'Wish I could say the same,' she spits.

    Gus looks at Jason out the side of his eyes, 'Something I need to know son?'

    Jason avoids his father's gaze, 'I'm going to the bar.' Turns and storms off. Emy is going red with anger.
     
  2. nhope
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    nhope Contributing Member Reviewer

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    hmm...

    one night stand? unrequited love? stripper?
     
  3. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    no I don't want anything like that nothing serious not a love thing. - I am still thinking they went to the same primary school/elementary school or high school or college:

    Maybe he mooned at her when they were eight, or caught her having her first kiss behind the bike sheds or she told on him for something in school and he got into big trouble. Or one of them cracked an innocent joke that the other thought was about them. Or a found diary entry saying one of them fancied the other when they were fourteen (that is as deep as any love suggestions need to be)
     
  4. -oz
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    -oz Active Member

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    Vehicle wreck - They would both be pissed off, especially if each thinks it's the other's fault and unwilling to accept the blame.

    I'm inferring from what you wrote that this is a recent event and that these two are past college, so a mooning in kindergarden would more likely cause them to laugh at each other than continue to be angry.
     
  5. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    Vehicle wreck is closer but still feels more serious than I want - I want this to be really stupid and the emotion to be embarrassed. That is why they are not telling what it is.

    They are about 28 - I agree the mooning isn't serious enough lol something between that and vehicle wreck.
     
  6. -oz
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    -oz Active Member

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    Hmm... How about Jason cutting in front of Emily at Wal-Mart? A verbal confrontation would have ensued, perhaps getting the store manager involved, before everyone realized that this is stupid and laugh it off? They'd still be embarrassed about it, especially meeting so soon in a completely different setting. Just an idea...
     
  7. alter-ego
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    alter-ego Banned

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    On a school trip to the forest, she needed to go pee, he came across her peeing and instead of turning away watched her. When she finished she stood up and saw him smiling, then he ran away to tell his school friends. She'd been known as pee girl for the rest of her time in school.
     
  8. Mystic_snowfang
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    Mystic_snowfang Member

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    Ripped pants are always a good way to go. I mean just break down the world embarrass "bare ass" you see where I'm going?
     
  9. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    Oddly I am thinking of reversing this but its exactly what I am after - maybe blow the mooning incident out of proportion and it never went away throughout school.
     
  10. nhope
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    nhope Contributing Member Reviewer

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    okay...but since they are now 28, would something that simplistic be carried over all those years?

    Unless...there are things that happen in high school that seem to haunt, like relentless teasing, stealing your clothes from your gym locker while you are in the shower, making up a lie, teacher's pet, a foiled drama class scene, a driver's ed mishap.

    Think back to high school and what haunts you.
     
  11. alter-ego
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    alter-ego Banned

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    Would it really work reversed though? A girl would be more likely to just runaway than watch, and I boy wouldn't care so much about being seen by a girl.

    Or maybe he ran in the girls gym changing rooms at school on a dare and saw her naked.
     
  12. alter-ego
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    alter-ego Banned

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    If she'd had a mad crush on him, and he'd turned out be an ass, it might still stick in her craw.
     
  13. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    He would care if she told a teacher and he was humiliated though. Or she slapped his face something to make his incident seem less brave and lose a lot of face. Maybe in front of the whole school - then her and her friend keep giggling. They just got into the habit of resenting each other - perhaps heightened by the fact they kind of fancied each other a few years later and were mean to each other.
     
  14. alter-ego
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    alter-ego Banned

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    Could be I guess, just seemed more believable if it was the girl that was seen. And then in the reverse, why is she so mad when she see's him? Unless you are going to expand on other scenes from the past. Of course if you do reverse it and she goes and tells her friends, "I couldn't believe they could be that small!" now that might leave a lasting memory!
     
  15. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    That might work or I could just make him shy lol - I thought maybe they had a related incident later on where he accused her of bullying him. Och no it's not working you are right.

    From the scene I know she is angry and he is embarrased - it may come to me when I writing it. Didn't even know about Emily and Jason until yesterday but think they are going to become occasional secondary characters. I think I want to marry them off.

    Maybe it should be something at university instead of primary school makes more sense. His dad would probably have recognised her if it had happened then.
     
  16. Eunoia
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    Eunoia Contributing Member Contributor

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    If the girl's angry, and the boy's embarrassed then surely it would have to be the boy catching the girl doing something? It'd make sense then, otherwise why is she angry at him?

    Yeah, I think something more recent would be better. If it happened in primary school, unless it was something major, I doubt they'd still be angry and embarrassed about whatever happened.
     
  17. alter-ego
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    alter-ego Banned

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    I duno, this is getting beyond me. I haven't ever done a in depth character development. Seems like it gets very difficult to keep everything in line. I read a special edition of Fountainhead by Ayn Rand and it had a really cool section on her original character development. It was amazing to see the dramatic changes she made to the MC's.
     
  18. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    I was only thinking about an incident with my two best friends with the other one - one pinched the other on the bum, he got into big trouble for it, she thought he was a creep - ten years later they only started speaking civilly to each other because he came out the closet. However both would be ex bestfriends if I included that exact incident lol. The guy that licked me in the ear for a dare when I was ten still makes me go ewww when i see his picture lol

    I can't think of anything at university that would do this. I just really don't want it to be the cliched they had been dating and it went wrong.
     
  19. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    Character development is something I find quite easy - these two are just so new. Really just looking for inspiration - your first idea is really good and something along the lines - I just don't see Emily as having been the sort to be called pea body. But that is the basic idea.

    I find characters develop themselves as I tell the story and it maybe the story will actually tell me at a later date but would like some ideas in the back of my mind.
     
  20. alter-ego
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    alter-ego Banned

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    Yup I still remember the things from early school. It still bugs me that Debbie Price broke up with me in a big huff at a party, and then never spoke to me again all through our school years. In college kids are more like adults and have so many more emotions that the little things don't make such an impact.
     
  21. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    I was thinking maybe if the incident happened then one of them moved away straight away afterwards. Their reaction above wasn't expected.
     
  22. Show
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    Show Contributing Member Contributor

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    What's wrong with your original naked in elementary school thing? lol
     
  23. ScaryMonster
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    ScaryMonster Active Member

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    Jason was in a cinema with his friend Pewburt; they generally act like idiots when they’re together. Pewburt dares Jason to touch the hair of the lady sitting in front of him, Jason then carefully reaches over carefully of touch a few strands of this woman’s hair.

    Just as his hand is half an inch from her head, Pewburt knocks Jason’s arm and Jason ends up smacking Emy in the head.
    Emy turns around and glares at them while Pewburt rolls off his seat laughing his head off. And Jason just looks gob smacked.
     
  24. Lothgar
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    Lothgar Contributing Member

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    So, tell me again about this one time, when a young lad on a silly prank, stole her clothes while she was in the gymnasium shower. What with her being so shy, she just couldn't leave with no clothes, but she was missed and a search party from the school faculty found her, wet and naked.

    And it was all the fault of a certain lil' rotten bast...

    Oh sure, he's older now, and probably wishes he hadn't done it (especially since she grew up to be so cute), but that was a long time ago.

    And the emotional scars of such a shy girl don't fade...even years later.



    ...just the first embarrassing incident to pop into my head.
     
  25. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    As usual Lothgar that is perfect - I am using it. If I make it a dare or he was bullied into it (I don't want Jason to be a total jerk either).
     

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