1. Aleque
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    Aleque Member

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    Need help for revenge story

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Aleque, Feb 15, 2011.

    Hello everybody

    I am struggling to accomplish a story about vengeance and justice.

    My story in a nutshell so far:

    1). A guy (Steve) is paralyzed and in a wheelchair. His brother (Eddie) gets killed by a gang.

    2). After excessive amount of rage, and will to do something, Steve miraculously gets his feeling back in his body, which he slowly begins to train.

    3). He trains over longer period of time and can finally begin to function individually. It takes some time for him to get used to it.

    4). Steve begins gathering info and putting the pieces together, to find out who killed Eddie and why.

    5). After some clues are found, a much bigger picture is revealed. A whole organization was behind the hit. It was all planned.

    6). Steve finds out that the reason the gang killed Eddie was because he was onto something scientifically. He was doing some chemical research and had a breakthrough inventing chemicals, which can both be used as remedy as well as a weapon.

    7). Steve finds the missing pieces of his brothers work, and works toward completing his work.

    8). Longer period of time, where Steve develops his character, finds more clues and hones his craft.

    9). Steve accomplishes his goal. He set the things right. He avenges his brother. He gives the chemical away to help people. (it can be a cure). He destroys the corrupt, bureaucratic organization, that has been defiling the structures of society.

    10). Steve dies of a terminal illness, which A). he already had in the first place B). he got from the exposure to those chemicals C). or he sarcifices himself somehow for the greater good


    I have been toying with this plot for lots of years now and I sacrificed lots of plot elements, and started from scratch, to keep it simple.

    I would love some feedback on the story, and some questions so that I can clarify the story elements that might seem vague.

    What I am unsure about atm. is that Steve needs a perfectly good reason to spend so much time and energy and essencially dedicating his whole life to avenge his brother. Most people would accept (in time) the fact, that someone very close to them died, and move on with their lives, but Steves reason have to be bigger than that. He has experienced such injustice in his life that it has been eating him up inside out, and when he was paralyzed, he could do nothing but watch.

    He have experience similar situations when he is developed, and deal with them. He has finally the power to act.

    Any feedback is appreaciated.
     
  2. -oz
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    -oz Active Member

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    An idea for you: What if Eddie gave Steve an early version of the cure, which helped him get over his paralysis? He tells Steve about this dream he has of curing people... Steve begins to have an idea of what Eddie's working on. After he's murdered, Steve puts together the cure and Eddie's dream, and vows to get revenge and get this cure out to everybody.

    Another idea: what if Steve works for said corrupt bureaucratic organization, only realizing its nature once he's gone up the chain and has been paralyzed. He knows about the organization, but has no clue it's behind his brother's murder until he pieces everything together. This would give him one more spark of revenge to fume on.

    These are just a couple ideas to kick-start brainstorming...Hopefully they help a little bit. Overall, I like your plot line, and hope to read some part of the story in the future!
     
  3. Leonardo Pisano
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    Leonardo Pisano Active Member

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    Aleque

    The story is plausioble, I think.

    The chemical might have something to do with a threat to big business (e.g., energy efficiency, some vaccine so people never get the flu anymore).

    Eddie could be the guy who always helped Steve, so they have a special bond. Or his twin (cliché?)

    The avenge can be to finish hi bro's work as this nullifies the reason for the kill.

    I think letting yr hero die is an anticlimax, unless you want to say that Steve's achievement is something bigger than life.
     
  4. Leonardo Pisano
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    Leonardo Pisano Active Member

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    Aleque

    The story is plausible, I think.

    The chemical might have something to do with a threat to big business (e.g., energy efficiency, some vaccine so people never get the flu anymore).

    Eddie could be the guy who always helped Steve, so they have a special bond. Or his twin (cliché?)

    The avenge can be to finish hi bro's work as this nullifies the reason for the kill.

    I think letting yr hero die is an anticlimax, unless you want to say that Steve's achievement is something bigger than life.
     
  5. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    Don't write in him dying to sacrifice himself for the better good - this kind of seems Mary Sue-esque when in combination of his miraculous recovery and the badassery that follows. :)

    Option B perhaps?
     
  6. Warrior Poet
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    Warrior Poet Member

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    If you're going to kill him, and the rest of this story is violent like I think it will be, be consistent. Kill him brutally. It makes the sacrifice that much more wrenching.

    So far the plot seems really cliche, though. It's a good plot, but it's been done hundreds of time. Do something new and original, do something yours. In fantasy this extends to the world. In one I'm working on, the residents of that world don't measure directions by North, South, East, and West. They actually use the four directions the Cheribum described by Ezekiel could move, which are generally going to be more reliable anyway. The sea around a certain islands tastes sweet and not salty.

    It sounds like your story is going to take place in a big city, right? Make the city your own, of course. And then the stuff that happens in it, it has to be interesting. You could probably send the same message with different events. Play around with it!
     
  7. Allegro Van Kiddo
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    Allegro Van Kiddo Contributing Member

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    I don't get it.

    1. What kind of "gang" are you talking about? When you say gang I think, street gang.

    2. How does steve heal?

    3. What is this drug? Steve gets sick from it, but it's a cure too? Do you have any idea what it is or is supposed to do?

    Motivation:

    Since his brother got murdered that's motivation enough.
     
  8. Aleque
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    Aleque Member

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    Thanks alot for all of your replies, I really appreciate. It helps my motivation alot :)

    I will keep on brainstorming
     
  9. Aleque
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    Aleque Member

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    Great idea. And I was thinking about that too. To make a fictional world, country, city (even currency) that can portray a mirror image of our society.

    Gotham City from Batman is my first thought when thinking about this. And the city from The Crow, which inspired me alot too.
     
  10. Aleque
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    Aleque Member

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    Perhaps I will make the main character die at the very end of the story. That makes the story better imo.
     
  11. Allegro Van Kiddo
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    Allegro Van Kiddo Contributing Member

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    I like that he dies.

    Anyway, the sequence that you explained in your last post makes a lot more sense to me now. Since the drug heals him, then it's fine because we're now into science fiction and anything goes.

    Bullet:

    Sometimes if people get an injury to their frontal lobe (behind the forehead) they end up getting a lobotomy. That can go a couple of ways and a person can become docile or maybe more angry and aggressive. That would be a bad combo with your brother getting killed.

    It might be worth it to look up some cases like that if you can find them.
     
  12. Aleque
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    Aleque Member

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    I appreciate alot all of the replies. Thanks :)
     

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