1. Sidewinder
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    Sidewinder Contributing Member Contributor

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    Need help picking some adjectives and archetypes

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Sidewinder, May 25, 2011.

    So as the thread title says, I need some help picking some adjectives and archetypes. I've filled a few in based on some research, but I need to figure out ones that best express the qualities that speak to our demographic. This is a continuation of this thread. (Still open to suggestions besides masculine/feminine if anyone can think of ones that work.) It's based on a model of psychology called the interpersonal circle developed by Timothy Leary, and adapted to a theory of relationships by Dean C. Delis, PhD in the book, The Passion Trap. In the previous thread I was using the adjectives from that book, but for my purposes, those might not be the right ones. What follows is partly research and partly extrapolation by me.

    Ok this is going to take some explanation -- patience, please. And if this gets too confusing just scroll down and see if you can help me pick some adjectives and archetypes that seem to fit.

    Visualize this as a circle. I'll post some links at the bottom to help you visualize, but I'm not good with graphics and this will be easier to read. First there are two intersecting lines. If you're having trouble visualizing this, draw a circle with a big "plus" sign splitting it into quarters. On the top, write "control." On the bottom, write "yield." On the left write "separate." On the right, write "connect." Then draw a diameter from the bottom left to the top right. That should leave "Control" and "Separate" in one half, and "Yield" and "Connect" in the other.

    The polar ends of each spectrum describe the extremes of interpersonal behaviour. The idea is that each of these behaviours is an adaptive strategy, and we all express them at different times. We might tend towards one area of the circle, but depending on the situation and who we're interacting with, we express different areas.

    These strengths can be expressed in balanced or unbalanced ways. The best way to think of this is that when a strength goes out of balance it becomes a weakness. So an overly controlling person becomes domineering. The way to amend this weakness is by learning to yield a little bit. This is the crux of the whole theory of behaviour, and for this reason I think that the circle closely resembles "yin-yang."

    But wait -- there's more. Haha. Ok, so each polarity can be expressed in a way that leans towards one or another end of the intersecting spectrum. So for example, controlling behaviour can be expressed in a separating or connecting way, as can yielding. Given that people are nuanced, it's more helpful for us to describe behaviours that lean a little bit like this than it is to describe ones that are strictly at one end of a spectrum. Hence instead of just controlling we discuss controlling-separating and controlling-connecting behaviour. Hopefully this is clear when you look at the list.

    What I need is this: at least two adjectives for each heading below -- a positive (balanced) and a negative (unbalanced) one. More adjectives are what I need, but I'd like to narrow it down to two main ones for each section. Also I'd like to have two archetypes or "personality styles" to describe each of the eight behaviours -- one positive (balanced) and one negative (unbalanced). The idea is that we're suggesting guys can try to recognize themselves in one or more of these archetypes, and to stick to the more attractive versions. We'll be listing various "turn-ons" and "turn-offs" in each area. (This equates to yes, be yourself -- just be your most mature, attractive self.) Given this purpose, I need words that will be most appropriate for our demographic -- guys who are interested in dating. So when thinking of adjectives, please consider in terms of attractiveness of behaviour as it is expressed towards others. Also please let me know if any of the adjectives or archetypes I've chosen don't seem to fit. A lot of them I'm still not 100% sure on.

    In short I need a negative and positive archetype for each heading and adjectives to describe the negative and positive behaviour those archetypes express. If you're up for it, please let me know which ones don't seem to work, why they don't work, and suggest any potential alternatives. I sincerely appreciate any help. None of these are set in stone. I'm reposting the links from the other thread at the bottom as a visual reference. If you have any questions, just ask. Thanks in advance.
    _______________________
    CONTROLLING-CONNECTING
    Archetypes: The Leader/The Authoritarian
    Adjectives: Managerial/Dictatorial

    CONTROLLING-SEPARATING
    Archetypes:The Adventurer/The Thrill-Seeker
    Adjectives: Competitive/Beligerent


    SEPARATING-CONTROLLING
    Archetypes: The bad boy/ The punisher (or sociopath??)
    Adjectives: Self-assured (resilient?)/Hostile

    SEPARATING-YIELDING
    Archetypes:The Survivor/The Loner
    Adjectives: Independent/Detached

    ___________________________
    YIELDING-SEPARATING
    Archetypes:The Epicurian/The Follower
    Adjectives: Modest/Inhibited

    YIELDING-CONNECTING
    Archetypes:The Gentleman/The Pushover
    Adjectives: Accomodating/Unassured


    CONNECTING-YIELDING
    Archetypes:The Empathizer/The Wuss
    Adjectives: Sensitive/Needy

    CONNECTING-CONTROLLING
    Archetypes: The Protector/The Clingy Guy
    Adjectives: Nurturing/Smothering


    Links:
    1
    2
    3
     
  2. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    Hey! Sorry it took me so long to reply to this.

    Controlling-Connecting: The Leader ; The Control Freak. Or perhaps the "Facilitator" and the "Bully Boss."


    Controlling-Separating: The Adventurer, or the Independence-Seeker, and the Manipulator (if you're talking about the "I'll leave if you don't have things my way" type)

    Separating-Controlling: The Freestander (not sure if that's the right word...something that means they can stand alone and be just fine, like independent) and the Rejector

    Separating-Yielding: The Strong Loner; the Detachor

    Yielding-Separating: The Peacemaker vs the Follower? ("Follower," to me, has a negative connotation, as it sounds like sheeple. But that's just me.)

    Yielding-Connecting: The Gentleman and the Wimp, or the Nice Guy and the Too-Nice Guy

    Connecting-Yielding: The Counselor and the Clinger?

    Connecting-Controlling: The Protector (or provider) and the Smotherer

    Hope this helps, not sure if it fits the bill of what you're looking for.
     
  3. psychotick
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    psychotick Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hi,

    CONTROLLING-CONNECTING
    Archetypes: The Leader/The Authoritarian
    Adjectives: Managerial/Dictatorial
    The Big Boss, Him upstairs, and from Haggard - She Who Must Be Obeyed.
    Bossy, interfering, domineering



    CONTROLLING-SEPARATING
    Archetypes:The Adventurer/The Thrill-Seeker
    Adjectives: Competitive/Beligerent
    Having trouble with this as it could be two people, one an xgames thrill seeker, out for himself, the other a a sod who gets to the top by beating down his competition.
    As for adjectives, combative, victorious.



    SEPARATING-CONTROLLING
    Archetypes: The bad boy/ The punisher (or sociopath??)
    Adjectives: Self-assured (resilient?)/Hostile
    The Rebel, Delinquent, Crime lord?
    Rebellious, self involved, self absorbed.


    SEPARATING-YIELDING
    Archetypes:The Survivor/The Loner
    Adjectives: Independent/Detached
    Rambo, The Stoic, Uni Bomber?, Survivalist.
    Stoic, solo, indipendant.


    ___________________________
    YIELDING-SEPARATING
    Archetypes:The Epicurian/The Follower
    Adjectives: Modest/Inhibited
    I don't get Epicurian in this context - a lover of fine foods?
    Follower, Sheep, Shy.



    YIELDING-CONNECTING
    Archetypes:The Gentleman/The Pushover
    Adjectives: Accomodating/Unassured
    The Mark, The Victim,
    Considerate, Polite, Softly spoken, or weak, Courteous.


    CONNECTING-YIELDING
    Archetypes:The Empathizer/The Wuss
    Adjectives: Sensitive/Needy
    Mother, Mother hen, Bleeding Heart,
    Motherly, caring, concerned.



    CONNECTING-CONTROLLING
    Archetypes: The Protector/The Clingy Guy
    Adjectives: Nurturing/Smothering
    Knight, Castellon, Father.
    Looking out for others, iron fist in velvet glove, strong right arm.


    Hope that helps.
     
  4. Sidewinder
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    Sidewinder Contributing Member Contributor

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    Thanks guys. Some useful ones there.

    @Mal:
    I like Control Freak and will probably use that one instead of Authoritarian.
    Re: Follower -- yeah it's supposed to be negative. That's the negative version.
    I like freestander but not 100% sure.

    @psychotick:
    I like the Delinquent. I'll probably use that.
    Re: The Epicurean. This is from wikipedia:
    Epicurus believed that the greatest good was to seek modest pleasures in order to attain a state of tranquility (ataraxia) and freedom from fear, as well as absence of bodily pain (aponia) through knowledge of the workings of the world and the limits of one's desires.
    So that's the best way I can think of to express an archetype for positive modesty. Open to other suggestions.
    I actually like Knight and might go with that or a variation on that.

    Thanks guys. For anyone else making suggestions, some additional information -- the target market is dating guys, so for the archetypes try to think of a sexy and and unsexy version. Cheers.
     

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