1. BonanzaFan2011
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    BonanzaFan2011 Member

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    Needing a bit of help

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by BonanzaFan2011, Jul 29, 2011.

    Hi guys,
    At the moment I'm writing my fan fiction but I'm out of ways of saying for example.. he goes over, he walks over, he went over , etc.. are there any other ways of saying this? Any help would be great , thanks.
     
  2. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    Pick up a book (preferably a good one) off your bookshelf, and have a read through. Take note of the sentence structures, and how the author deals with the problem. It's all about varying the kinds of sentences you use, and their internal arrangement.
     
  3. Islander
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    Islander Contributing Member Contributor

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    Omit things which are obvious from context. For example, if the character walks around in his apartment doing things, you can just write, "He checked the news on the TV" or "He took a carton of milk from the fridge", and the reader can figure out he must have walked there. Just read through what you wrote to make sure it's clear.
     
  4. Melzaar the Almighty
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    Melzaar the Almighty Contributing Member Contributor

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    Yeah, avoid all those filler words - "then" is also a bad one. Most of the time you only need to mention the act of moving if it's significant. The resultant actions will be much more interesting to the reader.
     
  5. NaughtyNick
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    NaughtyNick Member

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    He sidled over...
    He pogosticked over...
    He moonwalked over...

    I tend to interchange between those three. Book is coming on well...
     
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  6. VM80
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    VM80 Contributing Member Contributor

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    Don't include too many 'stage directions'.

    It would be boring to read a character's every move. I once read something that literally did that, and needless to say I never finished that particular book...
     
  7. SeverinR
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    SeverinR Contributing Member

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    MSWord broke me of "then", it would always flag then(should be "and then") so I noticed I used then alot. So then I figured out how to stop using then.

    One reviewer pointed out how mechanical writing every movement. Much like robot moves.
    He moves here, places hand here, moves there, tips head, smiles, looks up
    Roboto writing. (Still working on not being movement specific.)

    If you need to specify a move try to blend it in with other sentences to break up the robotic moves.
     
  8. VM80
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    VM80 Contributing Member Contributor

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    That's a good comparison actually. It's tedious and unnecessary.

    Leave something to the imagination!
     
  9. BonanzaFan2011
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    BonanzaFan2011 Member

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    Thanks all much appreciated. Will try.
     
  10. teacherayala
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    teacherayala Contributing Member

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    I think it all depends WHY he's going over to it and what his attitude is. For example, if you want to avoid excessive adverbs or something, then the word choice for that verb had better be significant. I do recommend finding a one-word way of saying it as opposed to a two-word way. It doesn't hurt to be more concise.
     
  11. aimi_aiko
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    aimi_aiko Contributing Member

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    -Research different sentence structure
    -Rearrange your sentences
    -Use a thesaurus (just as long as you are familiar with the word - no need to sound smart)

    For example) Put the verb before the subject : Sliding over, he (blah blah blah)...and so on.
     

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