1. sarahmarshadlam
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    sarahmarshadlam New Member

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    Negative feelings after having your writing read?

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by sarahmarshadlam, Jun 23, 2010.

    Hi,

    I wondered if anyone else feels like this; I write something and think it's pretty good, I'm happy with it. Then I let someone read it and even if they have only positive comments I feel embarassed and think it's rubbish.

    Maybe it's because it's like wearing your heart on your sleeve, showing someone something that has come from your inner depths and it makes you very critical of it?

    Sarah
     
  2. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Never. But if you do, that's your inner harpy chewing away at your confidence. Tell her to shut up and gnaw some rawhide toys instead.

    There's an inner critic, and an inner critiquer. The inner critic tells you things like, "What do you think, you're gonna be a writer? You'll never amount to anything. Stop fooling yourself and do something more suited to your talents, like garbage collection." It;s the voice of your nasty Aunt Matilda, who never smiled her entire life, and was only invited to family gatherings for fear she'd spread nasty rumors if she wasn't under a close eye.

    You inner critique, on the other hand, will say things like, "You know, your police officer character is a Johnny One Note. If you showed a more compassionate side of him, he'd be more identifiable to the reader."

    The inner critiqiuer is always pushing you to improve. He or she is worth listening to. The inner critic only wants you to give up, and should be mercilessly beaten senseless.
     
  3. w176
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    w176 Contributing Member Contributor

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    Nah. We have a society in the western world that don't teach you to accept praise for what it is. Many feel like you, feels singled out, and rather makes you feel unsecure and self concious.

    It goes away if you practice. Smile, try to relax and be proud and interested in the other persons opinion.

    If you don't want to reply in a way that don't seem like "showing off" or making other feel inferior i got a tip. Especially getting a compliment from people that are not writers/painters/whatever themself. You can always say something along this lines:

    "Thanks. I'm happy to hear that. I spent a lot of time on it. Part X was tricky and I am pleased with how Y turned out."

    Just commentating how the working process went, rather then final result makes easy conversation, and neither bashes you or raises you to the sky.
    But never bash your own work. It just makes you feel bad and anyone listening uncomfortable. But it okey to admit that some parts were tricky or hard, imho.
     
  4. sarahmarshadlam
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    sarahmarshadlam New Member

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    Thank you for your reply! You are right, I tend to just feel bashful and forget about it. I will try and change the voice into a good critque and ask it why and how can we make it better!
     
  5. Show
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    Show Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'd write ways to tell that inner part of me to shut up but then he'd just tell me how unoriginal those ways are. :rolleyes:

    But yeah, I know the feeling the OP is talking about. It looks good until somebody else is reading it, and then it seems cheap. To reassure us those, the best of television shows are kind of the same way.(At least for me) It captivates me but it always seems kinda campy when showing it to somebody else.
     
  6. Promostarr
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    Promostarr New Member

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    I love letting others read my writings. But i hate all my works personally, with a few exceptions! Other people like to read them so i always feel rewarded after they read them :D
     
  7. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    to cut down on negative feelings, just be selective in who you ask to read your work and especially works in progress... don't ever show it to friends, or anyone you're related to or sleeping with, for instance...

    and when showing it to helpful/interested ustrangers, pick only those who are discerning readers, and/or knowledgeable about the business of writing and your particular medium/genre...
     
  8. Gigi_GNR
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    Gigi_GNR Guys, come on. WAFFLE-O. Contributor

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    Yeah, I usually feel that way, too. I have no idea why, but that's usually why I don't like my writing to be read by my family. I think the all-positivity and no constructive criticism makes me feel that way.
     
  9. Show
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    Show Contributing Member Contributor

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    I disagree, I think friends are great people to show it to. :p They may not help you get it published but they can be helpful ideas of what an average reader might think. Sure, experienced writers are better for improving it, but I don't think that opinion is everything. Sometimes a lot of
    "professional" writing advice I've read seems to be out of touch with some things. So in the end, you gotta feel good about what you're writing.
     
  10. Midnight_Adventurer
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    Midnight_Adventurer Active Member

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    Some writers are more then happy to pass around bits and pieces and wait for people to comment about it, whether that response is positive or negative. And then there are writers like you and me. I was happy with what I’d written until I let my class of other writers at College get their sticky little paws on it. Yes I was feeling rather ordinary after the experience (and I should in fact be working diligently on fixing my writing right now) but it's something as a writer you have to accept very quickly. Your writing (if you want to become a published author) will be out there for the public to see, it will get judged by people who will and wont like it. Experience will teach you that but more importantly remember that as a writer; you can’t please everyone. Just write what you want to write and try to stay positive. :)
     
  11. Switch
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    Switch Member

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    I think now that you are on this forum, it is a much better idea to post your work in the Review Room as you will get advice form other expereicned writers who will give you excellent consturctive critisicm and will help you improve your work and writing style altogether.
    Family members and friends can give you their opinion on whether or not they liked it and maybe point out a few spelling errors or similar but unless they too are experienced writers they wouldnt be able to give you help on how to improve.
     

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