Maybe I should be a little more clear as to the plot of the story. What happens is she meets this guy at a party. She falls for him, but finds out he's not the guy she thought he was. He turns out to be abusive and controlling. The rest is her trying to get out of said relationship withthe support of friends and family and her knight in shining armour. At least, that's how it was supposed to go. But it seems that he showed his true colours before she fell for him. She is not stupid enough to think she derserves to be treated that way, and won't fall for him. I think i've decided that the best raod to take is the rewrite. Make him smooth and sensitive in the beginning so she falls for him easily. That way, the change in his attitude is more dramatic and she doesn't see it coming.
Personally, I think you need a more interesting plot. Every romance I've read has a girl falling for a bad guy, then a good guy. Every romance movie I've ever watched has some variation of that. Most romance plays I've seen involve it somehow. Heck, even some romantic songs mention it! Of course, as many have said before in this forum, no idea is truly original, and it's the writing that makes it so, so if you think you have the writing skills to innovate an ages-old idea, by all means go for it. Otherwise, scratch everything out and begin a new plot. Your female lead seems to have no actual flaws other than being The Victim. The Victim is not a bad thing to be in order to get readers to symphathize with her, but if it's her only defining trait, I'd say you have a problem on your hands. Your male 'jerk' lead also seems to be the stereotypical jerk, with nothing else attributed to him. Now, sometimes, this isn't a problem, but since these are main characters, it's a huge one. Your characters seem to not change their values at all, and they are one-dimensional. So, what you have are static and flat characters. Of course, I'm judging without seeing any writing, so I'm most likely horribly wrong, but it's the best I can do to make these assumptions based on reading every post in this thread. Your knight, based on what you said, seems to be introduced into the story a little later, and he doesn't sound too developed either. Is he just 'the good guy'? My suggestions, which you should feel free to ignore are as follows: Write about your characters outside of the story. See how they react. Get to know them, see them take shape before your eyes. Not once in this thread have I seen you mention that the female lead doesn't want to fall for the bad guy, you've just said it's not logical, but you can force it. You need to be at a point where your characters tell you to shut up and write their own story. That's when you're ready to write a novel. Think of them as people in your head, merely using your fingers to tell about themselves. (I actually wrote an example here, but decided to use it for a story of my own as I really got into it :redface: )
You've determined this based on a few sentences and the information I've shared here. My characters are flawed just as anyone else is flawed. I merely stated the basics idea of what I am trying to accomplish. The white knight is actually a main character from the beginning of the story. No he's not just 'the good guy.' In fact, he does a few things he's not proud of at the beginning himself. As I've stated before, this IS my problem. My characters are developed enough to be interacting on their own. I need them to do one tihng, but because I've given them such strong personalities, they've refused to do something so out of character. Either way, I've taken a break from the story. It no longer captures my attention because I'm no longer the same person who started writing it three years ago.
Taken directly from my previous post: Of course, I'm judging without seeing any writing, so I'm most likely horribly wrong, but it's the best I can do to make these assumptions based on reading every post in this thread.
Yes, I'm aware you said that. I was in a rush to get to work and could only reply quickly. There is no need to be a smartass, thanks.
Ever talk to a person about her previous boyfriends? Ever notice that, when you ask why she broke up with him (if that was the case) she will say, "Because he's a jerk." Many people may stop there, but not I! I persist, "If he is a jerk, then why did you date him in the first place?" She will often say, "I don't know. I was stupid." Sometimes, however; she will say, "Because I didn't know it at the time." Sometimes, a guy will act COMPLETELY different BEFORE he begins dating a girl than he does after he is dating her. What you should do is have him not quite controlling, not quite abusive. In fact, he could be a complete gentleman beforehand. After they are dating, things will begin to take a turn for the worst as he settles into his situation and his true personality begins to reveal itself. It happens, as is evidenced by so many failed relationships, relationships with abusive husbands or even abusive wives.
Ouch. I think we all need to CHILL OUT FOR A MOMENT! Let's take a chill pill! A chill pill! Hold out your hand! Hold out your hand with the chill pill in it. Have you got the chill pill? You got it? *Pops my hand against my mouth, then speaks in a muffled voice* Now TAKE the chill pill!
Sorry, I was having a bad day yesterday and I took that a little far. lol. I realise it was rude, but the wink was condescending and unnecessary. I do apologize though. But, like I said, I've decided to put the story aside (if not scrap it entirely). I have another one in development I'm much more excited about. Thank you to those who tried to help.
Wow. I apologize that I made you upset. I didn't mean to. It was just a smiley face, I didn't think you would take it to mean I was being condescending.
It's fine. I totally overreacted anyway. I'm bi polar and sometimes I take out my irrational anger on people who don't deserve it. I really don't want to start anything with anyone on this site. I value the support I get here. Hopefully you won't hold it again me. lol
You will need to dumb her down in order to make your plot work. An intelligent person would not need to be "rescued," because they would figure out a way to get themselves out of the problem. They might find it difficult and painful, sure, but they would be able to do it alone. Remember that if you need someone to help you, it means that for some reason, you can't do the task on your own. In this case, the most simple explanation is stupidity. Even if your male MC manges to hide all his flaws, she won't want to stay with him once she figures it out. Will it hurt? Sure. Will it be difficult? Depends on how hard she fell for him. Will she be able to do it? Ordinary people do it all the time.
From what I have seen in life, I don' think that any of this has to do with her intelligence level. I have seen plenty of smart people in messed up relationships. People are not cognitive beings that wrestle with emotion. People are emotional creatures who happen to able to think. Many smart women fall for jerks and have a difficult time separating from them. Perhaps her "knight" helps to provide her with the emotional strength to make a leap that she find difficult. I think that is where the author was taking this.
Sometimes one story does not work, and you move to another. However, I would not be too quick to scrap it. I think that all plots start off with rough spots, and all character start with needing additional depth. The first thought of almost any writer is a cliche, and you re-re-re-write until you work a boring block of stone into a sculpture. It sound like to me you are just half way through the process, and there is still skipping and sanding to do.
I disagree with those statements on almost all accounts, but I highly doubt that debating is going to help sweetchaos in any way. I suppose we all have our opinions and she can choose the one she prefers the most.
Actually, I'm more likely to agree with JohnNoZ. I consider myself a fairly intelligent person, but I have found myself in a situation that wasn't as clear cut as you seem to think it is. He was a jerk, but by the time I found out I was too deep into to get myself out without the support of friends and family. Relationships are fully based on emotions. Love is not in your head, but your heart. As much as I would love to continue with this story, I'm not the same person I was when I started writing this three years ago. I have changed drastically in that time, and the novel is no longer something that the new me is interested in it. At the time, I had been going through something similar to the characters and it was more of a form of therapy than actually wanting to follow through on the story. The new novel I'm developing is something that actually captures my attention and that I'm actually have more fun planning and asking questions about. It more matches the person I am now.
