1. bythegods
    Offline

    bythegods Banned

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2014
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    Brisbane

    Novel based around self love

    Discussion in 'Erotica' started by bythegods, Sep 13, 2014.

    I'd like to share an idea I have been working on. It is inspired by real life events. It contains strong erotic imagery and also has a strong mystery element.

    This novel/short story explores events regarding a couple of lonely individuals who are neighbours. On most days they both indulge themselves in some hands on stress relief. Sadly, both people live alone and seldom make contact with each other as they enter or leave their apartments.

    One day, the man in the story finds a small hole in the wall and it permits him a very small peep into his neighbours bedroom. Much to his delight, he discovers that she too is a like minded individual who also favours similar undertakings.

    After observing her for some time he learns her schedule and is able to coordinate their activities so that he can get down to work at the same time as her.

    Unfortunately for him the situation never escalates beyond this and the two people still do not engage each other. Despite his best efforts he is finds it difficult to talk to her, and feels a little bit ashamed even. The routine continues for some time until the man makes a discovery one day. He observes that she keeps a journal, and jots down notes in a book every so often.

    The habit the man formed has eventually developed an obsession and so one day he secretly creeps into her apartment. He reads the book. The contents surprise him - it turns out he has been played all along.

    I can't say too much more without giving away detail. Perhaps I've said too much as it is.
     
  2. outsider
    Offline

    outsider Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2012
    Messages:
    968
    Likes Received:
    609
    Location:
    Glasgow, Scotland
    Have you ever considered counselling?
     
    Wyr and jazzabel like this.
  3. stevesh
    Offline

    stevesh Banned Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2008
    Messages:
    968
    Likes Received:
    646
    Location:
    Mid-Michigan USA
    Sounds interesting, properly written. I'd guess it would work best as a short story, though.
     
  4. Wreybies
    Offline

    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 1, 2008
    Messages:
    18,901
    Likes Received:
    10,090
    Location:
    Puerto Rico
    David Gerrold's The Man Who Folded Himself has an arguably similar concept that flows through the book.
     
  5. BayView
    Offline

    BayView Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2014
    Messages:
    5,664
    Likes Received:
    5,158
    Having a whole novel about this wouldn't work for me... I mean, the guy discovering consent AFTER he's been spying on this woman and stalking her for however long? That's creepy. If you were writing it as horror, it might work, I guess, but if readers were supposed to have any level of sympathy for him? It'd be pretty hard to do.

    Also, do you think you'd be comfortable actually writing the book? I'm not sure I've ever seen so many euphemisms for masturbation in one place before, except for those joke lists of all the different slang terms. If this WERE going to work, I'd think it would have to be a pretty in-depth psychological study, and the writer would have to be pretty comfortable with the ideas to go that deep into them.
     
  6. bythegods
    Offline

    bythegods Banned

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2014
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    Brisbane
    I've already written the book as a short story actually, comprising of six chapters. Its in first draft form.

    I don't believe this story needs to be a psychological study at all. I have done a good deal of research on internet forums and it turns out that a great number of people - men and women, have done this sort of thing at one point. Instead of the physical peep hole however, we have digital alternatives such as Facebook. Perhaps its natural or just most people are creeps? I believe the former.

    Where the line is drawn in the book is when the man physically breaks into his neighbours apartment. Up until that point it had been fair game. The man however is far too timid to be a potential rapist, he is stalker material at best.

    First and foremost the book is intended to be erotic. There ought not to be any psychological aspect. I am going for a little bit of the creep factor as I believe this is a driver for eroticism. The mystery element is the glue that hopefully will encourage the reader to read to end and not just limit their enjoyment to the tactical parts in between.
     
  7. BayView
    Offline

    BayView Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2014
    Messages:
    5,664
    Likes Received:
    5,158
    People are secretly watching other people masturbate... via Facebook? That's what your research told you?
     
  8. bythegods
    Offline

    bythegods Banned

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2014
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    Brisbane
    That and more.
     
  9. jazzabel
    Offline

    jazzabel Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2012
    Messages:
    4,273
    Likes Received:
    1,666
    Scary to think there are creeps out there who think drilling a peep hole in a woman's wall without her knowledge is 'fair game'. It's called 'criminal behaviour', peeping has a tendency to escalate into assault sooner or later, and the whole concept is just about as erotic as finding a power-reassurance rapist in your house. The only way this could be good would be as an interesting character study, which I gather it wouldn't be so, I guess, you have my answer.
     
  10. PensiveQuill
    Offline

    PensiveQuill Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2014
    Messages:
    358
    Likes Received:
    210
    Location:
    Australia
    The idea has potential, but erotic potential I am not sure. It's certainly not that erotic to me as a concept, its creepy. It reminds me of other creepy stories like The Young Poisoners Hndbook where we follow an obviously perverse individual out of morbid curiosity not because we identify with them.

    I'd say it has more potential as a thriller, especially if the creep factor was played to the max. As erotica I'm reasonably sure your target audience would be anorak wearing, basement dwelling men. I'm not sure how many of them would buy books as opposed to just straight up porn to whack off to.

    I cant imagine myself getting off peeping through a hole in the wall in the mind of a man who's major hobby is voyeurism with a hand on his dick. Short story in its current form, probably. Novella, novel? Not without some seriously interesting plot premise that I didnt see coming. A diary note? Not so much....
     
  11. elynne
    Offline

    elynne Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2011
    Messages:
    236
    Likes Received:
    140
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    I have to agree with @jazzabel --as I was reading the synopsis, I was finding the concept increasingly, unpleasantly creepy, rather than erotically interesting. (here, have another take on a similar concept:
    ) I get that there's a surprise twist at the end that somewhat corrects the weird power dynamic of the main character spying on the other character, but the reader isn't going to know that up front, and it's more likely that they'll be repelled by his behavior before they get to that point--or enjoy his behavior, and then be upset/disappointed by the twist ending (whatever it is). if you wanted to ensure that people would read it through, I think it'd have to be presented in either a horror-erotica context, or you'd have to do a lot of work on the protagonist's character to make him engaging despite his behavior.

    I also agree with @BayView --"self-love" is... I'm not sure how to explain it it, a heavily loaded in a way I'm pretty sure you don't mean euphemism for masturbation, and if you're going to write erotica you need to be willing and able to use the terminology that people are going to connect with.
     
    khawlaazwar likes this.
  12. Selbbin
    Offline

    Selbbin I hate you Contributor

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2012
    Messages:
    3,246
    Likes Received:
    1,811
    Location:
    Australia
    Just because a character's behavior isn't moral doesn't mean it isn't compelling. I like this story. It reminds me of the type of people Selby wrote about. But yeah, it seems like a depressing, not erotic, story.
     
  13. 123456789
    Offline

    123456789 Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2012
    Messages:
    6,347
    Likes Received:
    3,092
    The story sounded great(was even going to ask to beta)...until you said it was meant to be erotic. Mystery, I'm in. Erotic....Are you sure it's erotic?
     
  14. PensiveQuill
    Offline

    PensiveQuill Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2014
    Messages:
    358
    Likes Received:
    210
    Location:
    Australia
    This. Your attitude towards sex [from this section anyway] appears to be quite pious which is at odds with how most people view sex. Yes it can be a glorious experience, a sharing of human love etc. But mostly it's not. There is a strong carnal element to sex that frankly a lot of people enjoy, and why not? It's no sin to simply like the sensations and arousal that sex brings. Frequently it's not about the miracle of life but about the lusts of the flesh. And I dare say people buying erotica are firmly in the camp of the latter when they are reading it.

    Auto-erotica isn't self love. It's masturbation, as base as that sounds, that's what it is. And tossing oneself off has spawned a large industry, so clearly, its quite common and nothing to be ashamed about. I don't know a single female who does not own a vibrator or recommend one to others. They are not loving themselves, they are using a vibrator and none of us need cute descriptions to understand what that means.
     
  15. bythegods
    Offline

    bythegods Banned

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2014
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    Brisbane
    Actually he finds a hole - not drills a hole. Imagine yourself in a similar situation. Say you were highly strung due to lack of relief. There is a neighbour who lives beside you and you find that person attractive. One day you find a hole with which to spy upon them. Would you? If so would you take the next logical step? Could you help yourself?
     
  16. bythegods
    Offline

    bythegods Banned

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2014
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    Brisbane
    I suppose in a way its an unconventional romance of sorts. There are erotic moments that I hope work for certain people. However if you get an overwhelmingly creepy vibe off it I will also be satisfied. I'm seeking to stir emotions - I have been creeped out a few times during reading literature; strangely each time I was repulsed enough to put it down I also had the desire to return to finish the experience.
     
  17. jazzabel
    Offline

    jazzabel Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2012
    Messages:
    4,273
    Likes Received:
    1,666
    Of course I would not feel tempted to 'relieve myself' by peeping, found hole or drilled. Id let my neighbour know. If I suspected my neighbour of illegal activities, I might even spy on him, I might even catch him masturbate, but it wouldn't be something I'd consciously seek out and I certainly would not be whacking off watching him whack off, eww, :blech:.

    Peeping, incidentally, is almost exclusively - male behaviour. (I'm not aware of any women peeping Toms, but never say never in medicine, right?) They, like paedophiles and rapists, have their logic and excuses, but in reality, they are inept yet aggressive deviants, who thrive on violating boundaries of women, and as such often escalate towards rape, stalking or worse. There's nothing romantic about it, trust me, I worked with these people before.

    However, just because I think your protagonist is a slimy pervert, it doesn't mean I wouldn't read the book. One of the favourite books of mine is Nabokov's 'Lolita' - a 1st person unreliable narrator sob story of a convicted paedophile murderer. I always recommend it as an example of how to make the most appalling characters relatable. And even so, you just might surprise me. Convince me of your character's genuine feelings, whatever they may be, don't worry about what I think of him before I read the book.
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2014
  18. Mangyhyena
    Offline

    Mangyhyena Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2014
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    2
    Go for it. You know what you're trying to say and show, so follow through.

    Did you honor your characters by showing them honestly, no pulling punches or dumbing it down? Did you honor your readers by writing the best story you were capable of writing when you wrote it? Have you taken every step you can to ensure the quality?

    If the answers are yes, it's time to publish and get to work on your next story. Nothing promotes existing work like newly released work.
     

Share This Page