Older than Old I get disillusioned with the whole idea of finding someone special and I just say the heck with it, been this long without anyhow. I love being a grandma, but don’t let the researchers out there fool you with the idea of grandma’s babysitting, darning socks and baking cakes all the time. Haven’t you noticed grandmas and grandpas are getting younger looking all the time? The need for love and companionship is something that has no age limit on it, I can promise you that! And well, like you probably already have guessed, I’m looking. Sometimes I forget that I’m old going on older. Actually, I’m closer to sixty than fifty. Sometimes I tend to forget that I’m not that fair maiden anymore, until I accidently passed a mirror one day and saw gray hair running amuck. It’s always time for a rinse and there is always seems to be that winkle around the eye that wasn’t there yesterday. The chicken fat around the neck---- oh lord, the chicken fat. Vain or not, if I had the means I would have it all sucked out like the movie stars do. It kills me when people tell me that I don’t look my age, “your skin is so smooth for your age,” they say. Really, I smile to myself maybe I don’t really look so old. And then I look in the mirror again. (Ha, ha, ha) It’s even funny to me. I got a catch in my back the other night and couldn’t get out of the car for five minutes or more. It doesn’t happen that often. I tell myself, anybody can get a catch in their back. Ok, the catches are more like twisting of the ligaments, tight, like a rubber band---- really tight. Getting old is not so bad. It just stinks when I can’t remember if I paid the phone bill for last month and find out after it’s been turned off that I hadn’t paid it at all. How can one forget to pay the phone bill? It’s one of my few links to the outside world. I know I paid that bill. I wrote it in big letters, and underlined it too----on the calendar, on the wall above my head, pay the phone bill---- ok, maybe I did forget to look at the calendar. I read somewhere that if one lives long enough, Alzheimer or dementia is bound to set in sooner or later. Every night before I go to bed I pray, “Lord, keep me in my right mind.” I learned that prayer from my grandma Brown. She never lost her mind. Oh Lord I need someone to go deep sea diving with, to play soccer with, go roller skating or skiing with and all those great things. There’s no need of me fooling my self now is it? I’ll take what I can get, someone I can sit on a porch and hold hands with under the moon. Someone to read a book too and rub each others backs with liniment before bed time. I’ll be glad to take someone who can help decide if we will have whole prunes or prune juice for breakfast. I prefer the whole prunes my self. When I get that feeling, you know, the need for companionship, I get out my make-up case and try to cover up the wrinkles. I start an exercise regime and pull out the old crossword puzzles. Look out all you young men out there (hmm, just might be a little cougar in me this time.) I’ll mark it on my calendar: you’re looking for a man, young or old don’t matter. Some widow told me to do that, write it down if you want it---whatever you want---and don’t forget to look at it every now and then.