1. DeathandGrim
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    DeathandGrim Contributing Member

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    Omnipotent government

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by DeathandGrim, Jan 3, 2013.

    My goal here is to make an ever present force in a story that the readers know is always around but never appears until it has to. It want it resemble a scary omnipotent entity that the reader as well the story characters know "Do NOT f--- with."

    Basis: The world government in my series has an internal bureaucracy called "Blackout" created solely for regulating organized crime after the issue of mercenaries and high frequencies of war and organized crimes reached critical mass in the late 70s. Marking every ten years since its inception as a 'Mercenary Era' for notation reasons (I.E. Mercenary Era 1,2,3,etc.)

    So in order to help the struggling global economy stabilize the government began less spending on stopping organized crime and put more focus into benefit from it, by recruiting officials around the globe into a network that's able to keep its eye on organized crime 24/7. Using their profits as a stimulus to the world economy as well as bribing authority to look the other way and under certain circumstances also lighten most punishments or burdens (I.E Jail time, Fines, etc.)

    With such a global and omnipotent force there are certain rules to adhere to that carry severe punishment if otherwise:

    - Exposure of Blackout's existence will result in the in the culprit's addition to the 'Black List' (Meaning execution of said culprit removal of any record of culprit's existence)
    - Failure/Refusal to make payment to Blackout will result in removal of protection from Blackout (usually leading to swift apprehension by the appropriate law enforcement due to them knowing where they are)
    - Rogue criminals who are not within an organization are not tolerated and will not be protected
    - Extreme crimes against humanity will immediately lead to revocation of Blackout Protection
    - Crime involving property damage above $1 Million will immediately lead to revocation of Blackout Protection
    - Crime against the World Government will immediately lead to revocation of Blackout Protection

    Premise: The World Government has their hands in all profit from organized crime due to the large quantity of them. Rather than attempting to bust them up they instead take a base fee that's determined by the size of the organization plus a 15% of their bi-monthly profit, in exchange organized crime global will receive less pressure as long as they adhere to boundaries set. Breaking any one of the boundaries set will lead to severe punishment with zero tolerance.

    Did I hit my goal? Is there something I could add or maybe lose to get my desired effect?
     
  2. TimHarris
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    TimHarris Senior Member

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    In other words, they have regalized robbery? (and addded taxation)

    I am a bit at loss at what exactly it is you are asking. It seems you have most of the background for the story figured out already, which is good. Now you need to write some characters into the story, have them interact with the world, and us their interactions to form a plot.
     
  3. DeathandGrim
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    DeathandGrim Contributing Member

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    Oh this is for the story, I don't consider Blackout to be a character but more of the world they live in

    I want the world to be oppressive for everyone, not just the victims of crime but the criminals themselves also. Everyone is under the thumb of some kind.

    My goal with Blackout is to have the big looming presence hanging over everyone's head that when everything is stripped down they're always above everyone
     
  4. NigeTheHat
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    NigeTheHat Contributing Member Contributor

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    Well, if you want to know if this could be some scary ever-present threat... yes. But then, so could a landlord looking to kick a struggling family out of their home. As with so many other things, it all depends on how you treat it in the story. The way to build tension tends to be less about building something frightening as showing people frightened of it.
     
  5. Hwaigon
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    Hwaigon Contributing Member Reviewer

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    Second to the right, and straight on till morning.
    ...without the need for reading anymore after seeing a few points describing the Blackout, I suggest you read 1984; not merely to draw on it or to be inspired, but it's an
    educational must if you want to write about some kind of society oppressed by totalitarian government (provided you haven't read it yet, of course)

    Take hold of some conspiracy-inclined book - their imaginative input is really amazing and such knowledge will help
    to make the government in your story enough elusive. Definitely this is an idea, for which tackling you'll need to go into
    a fair research - if you want it to sound serious and credible. There are numerous resources for it...and very interesting to read, too.
     
  6. TemporalV01D
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    TemporalV01D Member

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    Perhaps if you want Blackout (or rather the "looming presence") to be felt more in your story, perhaps you should refer to and mention government propaganda at random points in your story (especially near the beginning). For example, perhaps a character passes a massive animated billboard that reads various important laws or how the government supposedly protects the world from choas or whatever. I'd put signs of the government's presence everywhere (think WWII Nazi ruled cities). You seem to have everything else figured out. :)
     
  7. Drusy
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    Drusy Senior Member

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    Question: Whose point of view are you going to be writing this from?
     
  8. Thumpalumpacus
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    Thumpalumpacus Contributing Member

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    One problem I have had with my own WiP (which deals with an overarching, but not omnipotent, government) is that of making the government powerful enough to command awe and dread, unscrupulous enough to justify rebellion, and at the same time not so omnipotent that the MC is rolled up by the fifth chapter. Definitely a challenge.
     
  9. DeathandGrim
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    DeathandGrim Contributing Member

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    From a Mercenary's perspective. So he's under them and knows of its power.
     
  10. prettyprettyprettygood
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    prettyprettyprettygood Active Member

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    Have you read The City and the City by China Meiville? If not, it concerns a mysterious (but not supernatural) all-seeing and all-powerful authority, and in my opinion it succeeds in creating that 'looming presence' feel; you might want to give it a try. :)
     
  11. Drusy
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    Drusy Senior Member

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    That's the POV I probably would use too. It gives you the interaction between all the characters.
     
  12. DeathandGrim
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    DeathandGrim Contributing Member

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    Sounds like a good read

    I'll take it :)
     
  13. BritInFrance
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    BritInFrance Active Member

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    A very good read. Some really original ideas too.
     

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