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  1. Greg T.D.
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    Greg T.D. New Member

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    Opinion on a beta character

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by Greg T.D., Apr 22, 2015.

    I recently created a thread asking the opinion on a character which I had been developing, however there was an astute disconnect to the character because i had only listed aspects of the character instead of giving a more personal description. I wrote a small description detailing the basics of my charcter and quotes as in responses and other things he might say depending on the situation.

    I would apreciate your own opinion on this character, what you think i could improve upon on this character, how I could make this character relatable, and and anything else you can think of, thanks.

    Here is the description I wrote:
    Years of harassment and straying awag from much social contact has strengthened the mentality of a physically weak, feminine boy. With little in reality that motivates him he seeks inspiration from the great heroes in the novels he loves to read and remains faithful to certain beliefs he has formed because of real historical figures such as MLKJ and JFK. As a child his greatest fear was death and found himself askkng questions such as when will I die, how will I be remembered when I die, and is there a heaven or just a mundane, dreamless sleep that last forever waiting after death. He eventually overcame this fear but still realizes he won't knoe the answer to these questions until the day he dies comes. Bored with a life that has gotten old to him he desides he cannot stand to live a life of mediocrity. He aspires to do something monumental that will be remembered by the world for eternity, not just some movie star or regular celebrity but something new, never know to the world before. He knows some stories are just stories and are impossible but those stories hold tales of greatness which will not soon be forgotten. Unfortunately barries prevent him from achieving his goal as he realizes there are countless others fighting for the top in a world of cruelty and unknown, however his greatest enemy is himself. Besides not knowing where to even begin he has noone he can seek advice and confide in. His record conversation with a starnger is an incredible 2 minutes and 37 seconds. He also feels restrained and held back only being in highschool. Aside from his absurd unclear dream he has not thought of any real goals or a career. In addition to this, his history of being alone has made him paranoid toward what those around him think of him and is easily embaressed. He may hold great intelligence and cunning however he lacks motivation and has grown bored with working hard, thus his grades remain average. Often he will sit inc classes fantasizing about outrageous scenarios. His reasonig for being a social outcast is a lack of trust in others, mostly thinking people are insulting him when they are trying to talking to him. Even though his choices are well thought out for he most part, he acts impulsively sometimes as well. Finally, he longes for something strange to happen that'll make he world he has grown bored of interesting bt knows thats not the way things happen in real life and vows to follow his dream until he achieves it or it is crushed beneath its own weight.

    Basically hes weak throughout the story, until the end where the only friend he has aquired and trusts is killed right before him because of his ignorance. Demoralized and lacking any furher life options he joins the army to fight in a war that began in the begining.

    When speaking publicly to a stranger most of his responses would be quieter,unclear mumbling, sometimes sounds such as "mm" or "yea"
    However when he speaks with someone he is aquainted with he will often be much louder and open. When in public he only speaks strongly if it is a subject he is truely confident about.
    His thoughts are vey different from his voice, whether is be analysing a situation, stating a crude opinion, or most likely scream at himself at his mistakes or vowing to keep his vows.

    Anyway this is just a beta charcter so advice and options are greatly appreciated.
     
  2. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    Hi, welcome to the forum. I'd love to help you but there are two things. I can't critique what you've written until you qualify to post it in the workshop. (be here 2 weeks, have 20 posts including two in the workshop commenting on other people's work).

    And while I could comment on the character, some of us have a thing about plots and characters, in that unless you write the passage we cannot say much about it.

    A character is more than its framework, a plot is more than the idea. These things come alive as one writes. Good ideas are a dime a dozen, though I know some writers don't think that's true.

    Stick around, join the community and then post that excerpt in the workshop and you should get some good feedback.

    As for the qualities of a good character, that comes down to inner and outer conflict, and being the character you want to write about.
     
  3. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    Hi again, Greg. I see your other thread. Now I see why you posted this. Perhaps you just need some patience. It's only another week and a half. Stick with your responses in the other thread until then. It looks like you fleshed the character out quite thoroughly there.

    Definitely don't give up on us. We'll give you more once you get to know us a bit. :D
     

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