1. LibbiShannon

    LibbiShannon New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2013
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0

    Plot development...

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by LibbiShannon, Mar 2, 2014.

    Okay, so I want to write a story of a teen mum.. but not the normal boring story. My character will be from a rich family and well educated from a elite girls school. It will be based in Melbourne, Australia.
    She is a only child raised by the nanny and Butler as her parents work 12 hour days... she got everything she wanted but a family which is all she ever wanted, as her parents work and the rest of her family Grandparents, cousins, auntie and uncles are back in England and France. Her mum is French well her dad is English and they where both born there, when her mum was 17 she went to finish her schooling in England where she meet the dad. They both moved out to Australia where they got good jobs in Surgeon and Psychology. She gets pregnant by her boyfriend of 2 years, when she is 17. At the time of her exams she finds out she is pregnant which is October/November... in December her boyfriend passes away from a clot in the brain or accident I havent decided yet.
    As she get half way through her pregnancy she find out there could be something wrong with her baby, when the baby is born, it is born at 35 weeks, but everything was fine when the baby is 6 months old it has a seizure and it hasn't meet the milestones that it Should of.
    also I'm in a hole, should I make her have twins? I'm just a boy or girl? Just give me a thing to think about as I'm stuck in a hole
     
  2. Tesoro

    Tesoro Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2011
    Messages:
    2,818
    Likes Received:
    300
    Location:
    A place with no future
    That is entirely up to you. If it has an impact on the story, that is something you need to decide. Otherwise, it doesn't matter.
    I'm just a little confused here, what is the actual story? Is it her everyday life as a teen mom or is there something at stake here? (other than her health) from what you tell us I have a problem spotting a story question.
     
    Andrae Smith likes this.
  3. Mans

    Mans Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2012
    Messages:
    1,073
    Likes Received:
    593
    Location:
    Iran
    I think it is better, you make your character a honest girl instead of a girl that has had some illegal sex with a non-hubby person. It reduces the value of the story. Specially when she brings an illegal baby. The cancer which she had, was better than the deed she committed.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2014
  4. Tesoro

    Tesoro Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2011
    Messages:
    2,818
    Likes Received:
    300
    Location:
    A place with no future
    :confused::confused::confused:
    Where did she write that?
     
  5. Mans

    Mans Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2012
    Messages:
    1,073
    Likes Received:
    593
    Location:
    Iran
    Girl+ boy____in the church ______ legality
    Girl+ boyfriend__ out of the church____ illegality

    The difference is just one " friend" out of the church
     
  6. Robert_S

    Robert_S Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2013
    Messages:
    876
    Likes Received:
    170
    When does a church get to decide law? Answer: Never. The last thing we need is forced child marriages, stoning and death to unbelievers brought back.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2014
  7. Mans

    Mans Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2012
    Messages:
    1,073
    Likes Received:
    593
    Location:
    Iran
    I don't want we have a religious debate here but the law which you mentioned is not a man-made society law but is a formal divinity contract (law) that is not removable. If even a folk don't believe in God but they marry based on their own tradition and ceremony, God counts it, as a legal marriage. But if some of the nowadays girls and boys, namely, boyfriend and girlfriend go in bed without any previous religious law or ethnic tradition and ceremony, that coupling is illegal (major sin). Also the children who are born as such, are illegal.
     
  8. Andrae Smith

    Andrae Smith Bestselling Author|Editor|Writing Coach Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2012
    Messages:
    2,640
    Likes Received:
    1,668
    Location:
    Washington State, U.S.A.
    But God has no bearing in this fictional story... :confused: We can't project our concepts of God and marriage onto the story that doesn't have it.

    At this point in the development, having a child out of wedlock (which is a pretty common scenario these days) may pose a more interesting form of tension of the family is religious or has some moral stance against teenage sex. The tension between the girl and her parents doesn't even have to come from a religious perspective. If there is no tension between her and her parents, I don't quite see the story.

    Which leads me to echo @Tesoro. What is her motivation? What does the protagonist want that she can't get? That's what'll make this story interesting. Readers need to be able to cheer for their mc (sort of), to get behind them and hope they attain what they're after. Without that, we have nothing but a chronicle of events.
     
  9. Renee J

    Renee J Senior Member

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2013
    Messages:
    460
    Likes Received:
    220
    Location:
    Reston, VA
    My book has lots of "illegal" sex.
     
    Tesoro likes this.
  10. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,150
    Likes Received:
    1,034
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    libbi...
    sorry, but site rules don't allow asking for help with schoolwork, or helping anyone with their schoolwork...
     
  11. Andrae Smith

    Andrae Smith Bestselling Author|Editor|Writing Coach Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2012
    Messages:
    2,640
    Likes Received:
    1,668
    Location:
    Washington State, U.S.A.
    Just wondering, where does the OP suggest this is a school assignment? I didn't get that impression when I read her question.
     
  12. Tesoro

    Tesoro Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2011
    Messages:
    2,818
    Likes Received:
    300
    Location:
    A place with no future
    She did in another thread, posted today. "What should I do?" It's in the same section. :)
     
    Andrae Smith likes this.
  13. Andrae Smith

    Andrae Smith Bestselling Author|Editor|Writing Coach Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2012
    Messages:
    2,640
    Likes Received:
    1,668
    Location:
    Washington State, U.S.A.
    Thanks. I thought it was time to get my eyes checked already! :oops:
     
    Tesoro likes this.
  14. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,150
    Likes Received:
    1,034
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    a moderator should combine both threads, if they're not locked for breaking the schoolwork rule...
     
    Andrae Smith likes this.
  15. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2010
    Messages:
    15,262
    Likes Received:
    13,084
    Mans, are you able to consider that these are your rules, and the rules of your culture, but they aren't everyone's rules? You'd communicate better if you could add, "Based on my culture..." or "Based on my beliefs..." before you make these absolute statements. As a writer, I think that it's important to understand that not everyone thinks precisely the same way that you do.
     
    Simpson17866, jannert, Mans and 3 others like this.
  16. Mans

    Mans Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2012
    Messages:
    1,073
    Likes Received:
    593
    Location:
    Iran
    :) ChickenFreak, but I didn't dictate something to others. I even didn't persist on the realities which I expressed. Also, I refused to continue any discussion about this matter. I even didn't respond to Adrae Smith's post and I hope he is not bothered.
     
    Andrae Smith likes this.
  17. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2010
    Messages:
    15,262
    Likes Received:
    13,084
    I don't want to discuss the religion either. I'm talking about the fact that you often phrase controversial opinions as if they're truth. Yes, they're truth *to you*. But they're not truth to others, and speaking as if they are will drastically reduce your chances of persuading anyone. Why wouldn't you want to simultaneously avoid offending others, and maximize your chances of persuasion?

    Pretend that I'm a vegetarian. Pretend that I say:

    "It would be better if you make your character a compassionate girl and have her order a salad instead of a steak in the romantic scene. Having her eat the remains of a murdered animal reduces the value of the story."

    The most obvious response to this remark is, "Um...you do realize that not everyone is vegetarian, right?" No one will seriously consider my suggestion, because my false assumption that everyone agrees with me on vegetarianism will dominate the response and distract from any serious consideration of my suggestion.

    What if I instead said:

    "Personally, I'm a vegetarian, so seeing your character eating a steak would make me lose sympathy for her. I want to see her as an entirely sympathetic character here, and that's not happening for me. You might want to consider the possibility that some of your readers might be vegetarian, and have her order something else."

    Now, the writer can ignore me just as thoroughly either way. I don't have the power to dictate morals to her. But I think that in the second case, the odds are higher that my suggestion will be taken seriously.
     
  18. Mans

    Mans Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2012
    Messages:
    1,073
    Likes Received:
    593
    Location:
    Iran
    So as you offering me, I am inevitable to use an additional phrase to my comments [ I believe - it sounds - in my opinion - I think - it seems to be so... Maybe.. it is like ... and so on ]
    For example, "I suppose Earth has a moon"-" In my opinion, water never goes up from a hill" - " Its sounds the old man that is walking in the park is a human" - " Maybe the chocolate is made from cacao" ( Hi, ChickenFreak it is just a joking with you) :D
     
  19. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2010
    Messages:
    15,262
    Likes Received:
    13,084
    You are welcome to completely ignore and dismiss my advice, if you wish.
     
  20. Simpson17866

    Simpson17866 Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2013
    Messages:
    3,406
    Likes Received:
    2,931
    @ChickenFreak I am a vegetarian, and that's how I would do it too ;)
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice