PG? PG13? Teen? Young adult?

Discussion in 'Children's & Young Adult' started by naturemage, Dec 7, 2011.

  1. Jhunter

    Jhunter Mmm, bacon. Contributor

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    Good point.
     
  2. naturemage

    naturemage Active Member

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    Caldenfor: thank you for the observation, but he does indeed respect Kerry. Earlier in the story, he makes an attempt at seeing if he has feelings for her, and he doesn't. They are best friends, and the scene is crucial for setting up for something later on (aka, the story requires the "awkward scene" between the two of them.) Thanks for keeping an eye out.
    Also, can we please drop the "reader base" of Twilight thing? I was just referencing a scene, I don't require everyone to go in depth about the readers.
     
  3. naturemage

    naturemage Active Member

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    Okay, I have another scene that I added to the same story. This one goes into a little more detail, but I think this puts it into young adult, even though nothing happens. Take a look, let me know what you think.
    As background, the girl in this scene is Alex's ex, though they are now dating again when this scene takes place. He doesn't really have feelings for her, but he needs the companionship to keep himself going emotionally.


    On their two week anniversary, Tasha invited Alex over to her house on a weekend. It turned out her parents were out of town, and Alex’s mom had to work, so he figured it was a good a time as any to see her.
    When he got there, Tasha got right to her point by presenting herself in only her underwear and bra. They went up to her room, with all but Alex’s underwear disappearing along the way.
    They kissed like crazy all the way up, though Alex was still having trouble feeling anything behind it. He was feeling selfish all the time, because he mostly dated Tasha to get a few hours out of the day where he didn’t have to keep looking over his shoulder for a bully.
    When they got to Tasha’s bed, they were both naked, and Alex smiled down at Tasha. Tasha smiled back and nodded.
    “Be careful,” she said. “I saved myself just for you.”
    He nodded. “I will be.”
    He jumped nearly three inches, and fell off the bed when the window near the bed shattered. Tasha covered herself up instantly, fearing an intruder.
    Alex got up and looked over the bed to see what had come in through the window. His eyes widened when he saw the white owl, slightly bloodied up from the few cuts it had gotten from the glass.
    “Alex, get it out!”
    He walked over to it, waving his hands and yelling. The owl was more coordinated this time and flew out the window after a few seconds of listening to Alex yell at it.
    “Forget it,” Tasha said, getting out of her bed and grabbing her bathrobe.
    “What?” Alex was confused as she threw his underwear to him.
    “I wanted one time with you before this, but obviously it’s not going to happen. Alex, we’re breaking up.”
    “Breaking… why?”
    “I don’t like you Alex. I… well, I do, just not emotionally. You’re very good looking, but I kind of just wanted to have sex with you. I like this guy at another school, but he doesn’t date virgins.” She shrugged. “Sorry.”
    Alex felt as though his heart had just fallen down his body and out of his foot. It shattered just like the window had.
    “You… you were…”
    “I wasn’t using you. Please, you would have gotten something out of this. I’m sorry, I can’t do this.”
    Alex was hurt, but also angry. Not only had she been using him for money, but she’d been wanting to use him for sex too.
    “Now I remember why I broke up with you the first time.”
    “Well, at least I’m doing it this time. You know where the door is.” She pointed towards her bedroom door.
    Alex walked to the door, picked up his clothing on the stairs and put it on, and then grabbed his jacket at the front door. He went outside, slamming the front door on his way out.
    He stomped down the driveway, heading for home, and his tears began hitting the ground. He’d been used, by the same girl, for the second time. The only support he had, abandoning him. He could only trust himself now, and that was someone he trusted less than anyone else.
     

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