1. Heather Louise
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    Heather Louise Contributing Member Contributor

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    Platonic Relationships.

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Heather Louise, Mar 2, 2008.

    Simple question, do you think a lad and lass can be really close mates without one of them wanting something more from the relationship ??

    Heather
     
  2. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    Yes.


    The majority of my friends or female, and I can honestly say I feel no compulsion for the friendship to be anything more. it takes maturity, though. Or extreme naiavity. Either works :p
     
  3. Heather Louise
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    Heather Louise Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hehe, I guess. I was just wondering as I have found that most of the lads I am really close with now, I have "fancied" at one point or another, even if I don't any more. Was just curious
     
  4. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    Well, maybe I'm just strange, lol. Not entirely unbelievable :p
     
  5. Raven
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    Raven Banned

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    One of my best friends is a female. She and I have been friends for a very long time. We have always been just friends and never thought for more.
     
  6. ValianceInEnd
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    ValianceInEnd Active Member

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    I have a lot of female friends, like Banzai, that I just hang out with and don't "fancy" as you put it. Though I did once try a "relationship" I guess you could call it with one and that didn't work out so well. haha :rolleyes:
     
  7. (Mark)
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    (Mark) Contributing Member

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    No, I think that's almost impossible. Someone had to have had feelings at one point or another, or maybe somebody still does.
     
  8. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    Why do you say that Connolly?
     
  9. (Mark)
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    (Mark) Contributing Member

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    It's just my experience. I've never had any kind of friendship with a female that was completely platonic I don't think. I may have had one or two, but the majority just aren't platonic.
     
  10. Eoz Eanj
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    Eoz Eanj Contributing Member Contributor

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    Nah, it's very possible

    one of my best friends is male and I am in no way looking for something greater with him than friendship. It comes down to attraction I think as to whether or not a platonic relationship will work out- the fact I'm not attracted to him is the reason for why I do not have 'feelings' for him in a 'more than friends' regard.
     
  11. lessa
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    lessa Contributing Member

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    I get along better with males than females. Always have but I don't know why.
    If I want to have fun I talk to guys.
    If I want to feel insecure I talk to women.

    Most of Dom's friends in China are female and he has promised me no grandchildren so I guess most of them are platonic.
     
  12. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    Or he's using contraception...


    Lol, sorry Lessa :p :redface:
     
  13. Kit
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    Kit Contributing Member Contributor

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    LOL!!! Way to make a mother worry, Banzai.

    I think that a relationship with a guy can be platonic, a lot of my friends at the minute are male and I have no intention for any of them to be anything more. (Granted, all but one of those are exes... but still...)
     
  14. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Absolutely!

    I've had many, many friendships with women over the years. In quite a few of them, there was "interest" one way or the other, but in many more of them, it was purely friendship.

    But even attraction need not ruin a friendship. I am not at all interested in a romantic relationship with any man, but I'm not threatened by it either; I had a friendship with a man who would flirt on occasion, but I made it clear that I had no interest in that kind of relationship, and just where my boundaries were; the friendship remained solid for a couple years after that, until he moved out of the area.
     
  15. Tori
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    Tori Member

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    I think you can, to a certain point. Most of my friends in the past have been guys, I just find them easier to talk to. The only thing I have to say about it is that even though I'm only friends with them I do find myself thinking, sometimes, about what it would be like to go out.

    However, that thinking goes out of my mind almost as soon as it comes in because I know them too well. I know about their ex-girlfriends, their one night stands, everything!!

    .
     
  16. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    In my time I have always gotten along better with males than females. I don't know why but 99% percent of my female friends have seen me as a threat. meh females aye! lol

    I've spent most of my life around male friends, though I've always had really close female friends of course. But I always find it easier to socialise with a group of guys then a group of girls.

    I have only ever had a few of male friends not want anything more than a friendship and that was...well they weren't interested in females, but they were some of the best friends I've ever had in my life. There are others that I am good friends with (away from the internet as well), that I am purely friends with, but there has been a past between us and now they are in relationships so that counts right? lol No feelings are there between us NOW other than just good friends.

    I do know that it is possible to have a friendship where no feelings are ever developed other than just friends. But there are also times when people confuse their feelings and think that they fancy a friend when they actually don't fancy them in a relationship sort of way, it is more a love for a friend and nothing more.
     
  17. Domoviye
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    Domoviye Contributing Member

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    Little from column A, a little from column B. :p
    And I'm not sorry.
    It's possible to have a platonic relationship. Sure once in a while there might be less than pure thoughts, but most people who are good friends won't do anything more than have an occasional daydream. And there's nothing wrong with that.
     
  18. Gannon
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    Gannon Contributing Member Contributor

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    Sticky and trciky question this one. My experience is that platonic relations usually stem from a more lustful one. Platonics can exist, for example with colleagues, but are rare I believe. The better friendship seems to stem again in my experience from an original seed of interest if not more. That seed makes me at least want to know the person better so ultimately you become a better friend (or blown out completely of course). I am not convinced I have ever had a meaningful and entirely platonic relationship.
     
  19. Heather Louise
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    Heather Louise Contributing Member Contributor

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    That's where I was coming form with it. Like, I have loads of close male mates now, some closer than most of my lasses friends, but nearly all off them begun with one of us having feelings for the other, even if it was ages ago now.
     
  20. Kit
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    Kit Contributing Member Contributor

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    A lot of mine stemmed from that too, but not all of them did.
     
  21. Forkfoot
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    Forkfoot Contributing Member Contributor

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    I know it's never worked for me. I've had a lot of female friends, and one of us always fell for the other at some point and now I'm not friends with any of them.

    I've also known a number of females who would tell you with 100% certainty that yes, it is possible, that they've had many male friends about whom they've never once thought in that way. Then you talk to the guys and they'll tell you up front they're head-over-heels in love with her.
     
  22. soujiroseta
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    soujiroseta Senior Member Contributor

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    i agree with Connolly at one point or another one of you will have had to have a slight attraction. you may think that it was all friendship but sometimes people just don't say anything about it for fear of losing the friendship.
     
  23. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    I don't see men and woman, I see people... thats my mentality about this sort of thing.
    I don't care for gender diffrences.
     
  24. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Wellll, I wouldn't gio that far. Viva la Difference!

    Still, many of the supposed gender differences are, in my belief, purely a product of culture.

    Humankind is not a homogenous blend. The diversity among people is worth preserving and celebrating, not used as a criterion for division.
     
  25. soujiroseta
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    soujiroseta Senior Member Contributor

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    i agree with Cogito. im sure everyone tries to see people as people but the trick is not how you see them but how you feel about them at one stage or another.
     

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