1. art
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    art Contributing Member Contributor

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    Playground banter

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by art, Aug 18, 2011.

    Apparently, if you call someone a 'bitch' while in a school playground about these parts, this is what you're likely to hear in reply:

    'A bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are nature. Nature is beautiful. Thanks for the compliment.'

    There are a few leaps in logic there, but, you've got to say, that's sensational. :D I'm sure we used to have similar tortuous stock retorts when I was a nipper but I can't remember them for the life me.

    Do folk know of/ remember others?
     
  2. Gallowglass
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    Gallowglass Contributing Member Contributor

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    Whoever smelt it dealt it.
     
  3. Dante Dases
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    Dante Dases Contributing Member Contributor

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    Said the rhyme done the crime ;)
     
  4. Gallowglass
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    Gallowglass Contributing Member Contributor

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    Whoever came back made the crack ;)
     
  5. Mercurial
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    Mercurial Contributing Member Contributor

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    My dad always taught me to say, "I'm rubber, and you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!" Followed by a tongue-face: :p

    It worked in elementary school... Middle school was another story. :rolleyes:
     
  6. Eunoia
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    Eunoia Contributing Member Contributor

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    Haha, classics.

    I can't remember any. :(
     
  7. marina
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    marina Contributing Member Contributor

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    Apparently the UK has trumped the US on playground banter. That supercilious witticism, "Your mom", is all we got. :D
     
  8. art
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    art Contributing Member Contributor

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    LOL. The poked-out tongue..the gestural equivalent of calling someone a nincompoop or a twit.

    In Britain one would progress in this fashion:

    Age 3-5 poke out tongue

    Age 5-8 flick someone the Vs

    Age 7-8 flick someone the Vs while poking your tongue out between them (Literally a schoolboy error this one. This multi-faceted gesture was meant to be an advance on simply flicking the Vs but was actually a regression given the infantile ludicrousness of it all)

    Age 8 and above the middle finger:eek:..its verbal equivalent being the f word.
     
  9. Steerpike
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    Steerpike Felis amatus Supporter Contributor

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    I though the two-fingers (the V) was sort of the equivalent of the middle finger. What's the distinction? I'm curious.
     
  10. Gigi_GNR
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    Gigi_GNR Guys, come on. WAFFLE-O. Contributor

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    I had a pretty bad temper when I was younger... any comebacks I had were a punch or a few choice words, maybe both. :p
     
  11. art
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    art Contributing Member Contributor

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    They kind of broadly mean the same I guess but flicking two fingers was the sort of thing we might have seen our grandfathers doing - it has a long history - while the middle finger is/was coarser, more rebellious, newer (or such is the impression..the actual history of it might contradict this..).
     
  12. Steerpike
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    Steerpike Felis amatus Supporter Contributor

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    Thanks, art. Interesting.

    I've seen British characters on American TV flick the two fingers before, but I don't often see the middle finger used on broadcast television that is regulated for inappropriate content. I assumed that regulators had no idea what the two fingers were, so you could get away with it. I remember the character Spike, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, using them, for example. And Rik on the british show The Young Ones used it quite a bit and that's been shown on broadcast TV here. But I don't see middle finger used on broadcast TV.
     
  13. hiddennovelist
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    hiddennovelist Contributing Member Contributor

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    You guys never used any of those? I used to use all of them...along with "whoever denied it supplied it." Aww yeah.
     
  14. Lost_in_Thought
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    Lost_in_Thought Member

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    I use to live in a Igloo, but it melted :)
    I've heard many playground insult in my time. Most of them in the posses also insult Americans (I'm Canadian what to you expect) My favorite one isn't overly to bad anyways
    Kid one: *grabs a friend's hand as to shake it* "Hello are you a smart Canadian or a dumb American?"
    Kid two: *confused* "A smart Canadian of course!"
    Kid one: *points finger a few centimetres away from forehead* "Am I touching you?"
    Kid two: "No" (hopefully anyways)
    Kid one: *shakes hand exaggeratedly* "Nice to meet you, Dumb American"

    Another one I like that seems okay to post:
    kid one: "Hey did you know that if your hand's bigger then you face it a sign of stupidity (or cancer which ever you prefer)
    Kid two: "really?" Put hand over face to see.
    Kid one: *Slaps the hand that over the kids face* (this one is awesome because if they tell on you can say he/she slapped themselves)

    I had so much fun as a kid (evil laugh)
     

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