1. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    Post-Crush Relationship

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by Oscar Leigh, Jan 27, 2016.

    So, in my main project, a book I'm writing, Luke had a crush on Oscar before he met him. A bit after they met they started dating. And by around halfway, maybe slightly over, Luke is definitely in love with him. But Oscar, not having had feelings for quite as long, is not at that level yet. He's very fond but it hasn't quite clicked. In the period of time where this disparity exist, a few chapters, how do I portray what that would be like? What would they be feeling exactly? Obviously, it would differ depending on the person, but although they are my characters I don't have experience with this situation so I couldn't say what it's like. Anyone got some advice on this plot point/character element?
     
  2. Jeff Countryman
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    Jeff Countryman Living the dream Supporter

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    I think you could cover that period by stepping back to the objective views of other characters. Time will need to move forward, of course, so incidents need to happen to progress the time and these can be viewed through the other characters for a more 'wide-angle' view of what's happening. The incidents don't need to be major....just enough to show an objective view of their psychological makeup, habits, quirks, etc.
     
  3. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    First of, it's only from they're perspectives, so I can't really do someone else's. And that doesn't really answer my question. I want to know what kind of feelings I should depict. And how strong would they be? I really don't know what the situation would be like all I can say I think it would be awkward, that Luke as a character would try to pretend it's not even a little painful, and Oscar would feel guilty because he had a relationship where he liked them more than they liked him and they ran off with another guy. And for the record, I've got they're personalities. As I said, it's about halfway through, and he narrative is first-person stream of consciousness from them, the reader will understand a good deal of who they are by this point. The question is how to depict this bump in the relationship, because it's important as it feeds into a larger one.
     
  4. LostThePlot
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    LostThePlot Contributing Member

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    I think the best place to look is less at trying to describe exactly the feelings, more looking at how they would be interacting. So maybe Luke wants to talk about moving in and Oscar privately thinks it's just way too soon to be talking about that which makes it a point of friction. Maybe Luke just assumes they are going to be doing something together on a weekend when Oscar has plans he hasn't told him about and Luke is waiting on his doorstep when he get's home.

    The feelings themselves you can work out as you go, but just putting your characters into these situations (even just as exercises to play through the scene and get a feel for how they interact) I think will put you on the right track. If you want it to lead into a bigger deal then I'd go with just kinda letting this first one slide; they don't have a spat over it, they just have an uncomfortable moment and then these issues come back to the surface when they have a bigger fight. Maybe Oscar just grins and bears it that Luke is being a bit too clingy, maybe even pretends that he likes it when secretly he's thinking 'Oh god I just wanted to have fun'. Or Luke pretends it's not a big deal that Oscar just ignored him for a night when he feels really rejected about it and Oscar not realizing that just makes it hurt more. Something like that would feel natural to me.
     
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  5. Aster
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    If this relationship, at any stage whether just met or on their honeymoon, is important to the story and you don't know how they would feel about each other at any given time, why are you writing about two people establishing a relationship?

    If you've really never been in love, why are you writing about a relationship, especially the nuances of a relationship developing over time and feelings growing and all of that mess?

    And if you haven't been in love, ever, have you at least been really fond of someone but not actually in love with them. Can you not even think of a celebrity crush and omg what you wouldn't do for them and if they spoke to you you'd just die because your heart would explode?

    The most important superpower of the fiction writer is being able to put yourself into the shoes of imaginary people and imagine how they would feel in imaginary situations that are not imaginary to them. Thaaaat was unnecessarily wordy. But you get my point. I hope.

    If you can't emulate your own characters they are not the characters you should be writing about.
     
  6. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    Okay, that's sounds like a good kind of approach. Oscar didn't just want to have fun though. He's committed he's just doesn't have Luke's prior feelings providing the same level of it. Also, Oscar as I mentioned before has had bad experiences with relationships. Three of his four previous ended very badly. So he's a little nervous on the subject of his relationships, a bit afraid to trust some with his full love
     
  7. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    Okay, ouch. All I'm doing is just asking for advice because I'm naive on this subject. I'm not saying I can't imagine it based on my experience with feelings and the characters. But I haven't felt anything as serious as this little own the specific awkward situation. Would you prefer I wrote something without getting some advice on how realistic it is? I've seen people ask questions on this forum that are almost exclusively their knowledge, but this is something I need help on and I figured it would be good to ask some people here as well as some people I know. Also for the record, I don't develop anything more than lust for people I've never met. My biggest crush is someone I've known for years, which has positive's and negatives.
     
  8. thelostpiscean
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    thelostpiscean New Member

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    Luke would look for ways to make Oscar feel special and Oscar (since he is just fond of him and not in love yet) would try to just be nice but ward off his romantic advances. I think in the time the disparity exists, it is an opportunity for you to focus on the conflicts both the characters feel. Oscar feels rotten (maybe) for declining Luke's romantic advances and is also exploring within himself why he doesn't feel the same way as Luke.

    Luke, on the other hand, is conflicted because Oscar doesn't reciprocate and is torn between his love for Oscar and Oscar's denial. You can focus on the pathos this character feels after being turned down.
     
  9. Aster
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    Actually, yes, in this instance I would absolutely prefer you wrote something before getting advice about how realistic it was.

    My problem with your question is that it would depend entirely on the kind of people Luke and Oscar are. I just don't think you need our advice on how these characters would feel about each other because we don't know them. We can't just say "Luke would never feel that way" because maybe he's the kind of person who would feel that way. We can't tell you "Oscar would never do that" because maybe he's the kind of person who would do that.

    If you've been with your characters from day one, journeyed with them, been through all their ups and downs, then you will get a feeling for their feelings.

    Maybe if we had samples of the story and got to know your characters we'd be able to give critical feedback on the believability of their interactions but I'm not sure what benefit it will be to you having us tell you how your characters should feel based on a synopsis.
     
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  10. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    I have to agree with this bit right here. How each character handles the situation is highly, highly variable. Is Luke very demonstrative? Is he smothering with his love? Is he more reserved, his feelings inside not pouring out of every orifice? Is Oscar headstrong and assertive or is he the kind of person who, rather than deal with the upset he would cause by being up front, just kinda' cave in or ride along with the situation? I mean, seriously, this can go a million different ways.

    If we turn this into a scale of 1 to 10 as a "How much I'm into you" thing, I've been both the 10 and the 6 in different relationships, and thinking back on things, I didn't handle any of them the same way.

    I dated a guy named Danny when I was at uni who was always kinda' hot-n-cold with me. He either wanted to have sex with me for a week straight or I didn't hear from him for two months at a time. In that case, I was the 6. He was fun in the sack, so when he felt like calling me, I went. I dated another guy named Ryan who was easily the most physically beautiful guy I have ever been with (he was a model and continues in that line of work) and I put up with a lot of shit from him because he was pretty. That sounds like a stupid reason to be with someone, right? It is a stupid reason, but there I was, for almost a year, just because he was pretty. In this case, I was the 10. I dated all kinds of guys in between, about whom I felt all kinds of different ways. Each human is unique, so how you engage them is never, ever, ever going to be exactly the same as the last time. Usually, not even close.

    Also, as was stated earlier by another member, there's no way to seperate the feelings from the actions and interactions. The actions and interactions are how the internal, solipsistic feelings of each of the two individuals engage one another. Actions and interactions will moderate, mitigate, exacerbate, ameliorate, amplify, mute, extend and/or curtail the feelings each have.
     
  11. Jeff Countryman
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    Jeff Countryman Living the dream Supporter

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    Sorry for answering and trying to help.
     
  12. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    I'm wasn't putting you down I was merely explaining what it was that I asked in relation to the answer you gave. I understand your mistake. I'm sorry if I made you feel insulted/scorned.
     
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