1. Reilley Turner
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    Reilley Turner Active Member

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    Grammar "purred" meaning?

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by Reilley Turner, Jun 8, 2015.

    ___________ took off her cloak, only to reveal a beautiful sight. Under her rough, tattered riding cloak, she wore a long, blood red, curve-hugging dress that could only be described at revealing.


    “My eyes are up here honey.” she purred with amusement.



    What does "purred" mean in this case? I want to know before I commit to that wording.
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2015
  2. Aaron Smith
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    Aaron Smith Contributing Member Contributor

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    Well, is she a cat?
     
  3. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Typo: "as", not "at revealing"

    Grammatical error: "purred" would be a dialogue tag, meaning the direct speech before should end on a comma. Like this: "My eyes are up here, honey," she purred with amusement.

    "Purred" - guess I imagine a sultry, slightly smug voice. One that displays pleasure and confidence.
     
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  4. Reilley Turner
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    Reilley Turner Active Member

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    No, she's a female human.
     
  5. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    "Purred" is a common dialogue tag in fiction, not exclusive to cats at all. See definition 1.2 here:
    http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/purr
     
  6. Aaron Smith
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    Aaron Smith Contributing Member Contributor

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    I was joking. ;)

    It works, OP. It works.
     
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  7. Reilley Turner
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    Reilley Turner Active Member

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    Okay. That's the type of voice that I want, except add "slightly seductive" to the list. Or is this implied by her description?
     
  8. Aaron Smith
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    Aaron Smith Contributing Member Contributor

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    Try to show it more.

    (Draft)

    Her eyes fluttered, smiling wide, beautiful crimson lips.
    "My eyes are up here, honey," she purred with faint amusement in her voice.
     
  9. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    When I described it as "sultry", that does already mean sexy/seductive lol
     
  10. Reilley Turner
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    Reilley Turner Active Member

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    Ill keep this in mind. This also gives me a idea. you don't mind if I use this?
     
  11. Reilley Turner
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    Reilley Turner Active Member

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    Oh. Okay, never mind. XD
     
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  12. Aaron Smith
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    For the heck of it (if you are going to use my example) switch crimson with ruby. Crimson a negative shade of red that shouldn't associated with love at all. Same goes for blood red in your description. Just my 2 cents though; you're the writer.
     
  13. Reilley Turner
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    Reilley Turner Active Member

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    Well, for this example, I intend to use negative shades as she is evil. And this isn't love, this is using someone.
     
  14. Aaron Smith
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    My bad then. Crimson works beautifully.
     
  15. Stacy C
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    Stacy C Banned

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    'Purred' is OK, but the 'my eyes are up here' thing has been done to death, I think. A different cliche, maybe.
     
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  16. mkc123
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    mkc123 New Member

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    I think purred is OK, it fits in with the dialogue and makes the female character sound sultry.
     
  17. Reilley Turner
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    Reilley Turner Active Member

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    What do you suggest? She's a temptress, but I don't want this to get too sexual. She doesn't have sex with the people she "tempts" but instead uses them, while making them think that they are on the same level or sometimes on a higher rank than her.

    @mkc123 Thanks! For a new writer (a month or so), I think I'm doing not too bad.
     
  18. Stacy C
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    Stacy C Banned

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    I don't really have any specific suggestions, but maybe we're using that cliche differently. In my experience, 'my eyes are up here' is something a woman would say to a man whose (unwanted) attention was focused on her body. Seems like that's where your temptress wants her prey to be focused, so maybe the scene isn't necessary at all.
     
  19. Reilley Turner
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    Reilley Turner Active Member

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    Sorry for the late response, but the point of "my eyes are up here" is so that the man will look into her eyes and get entranced, as this is a magical world and she is a magic user. A corrupt, temptress magic user, but a magic user nonetheless.
     
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  20. Aaron DC
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    Awesome.
     
  21. Reilley Turner
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    Reilley Turner Active Member

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    Thanks, I really want to flesh out these characters as much as I can.

    Plus, I have a plot twist I have in mind for one of the characters
     

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