1. Heather Louise
    Offline

    Heather Louise Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2006
    Messages:
    2,972
    Likes Received:
    32

    Pushing Your Way In

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Heather Louise, Oct 4, 2008.

    Owkay, so following a conversation I had with someone the other day, do you ever feel like you push your way into a group of people, or force yourself on people, whether they want you there or not?

    For example, and this what we were talking about, I don't care if you don't want me there, I don't really notice, but I will come and sit with you and be quite happy chatting away with everyone ... and I somtimes get the feeling that I am not quite wanted there ....

    This is a feeling I get sometimes, when you feel slightly out of a group of people who you like talking to, do you force yourself back in again, stay where you are, or hide even further back incase they don't like you any more?
     
  2. Nilfiry
    Offline

    Nilfiry Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2008
    Messages:
    670
    Likes Received:
    81
    Location:
    Eternal Stream
    Naah. I've never had that problem; I am actually reclusive (with exceptions) and hate imposing on people. I don't talk to others unless they speak to me first (with exceptions). Everyone who knows any slight bit about me knows I'm an impassive person (with exceptions), so I don't care. However, if I ever do feel slightly out, I plan to say nothing and let everyone else bring me back into the conversation.
     
  3. Cogito
    Offline

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    35,935
    Likes Received:
    2,043
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    I tend to cruise among the periphery of conversations, Mostly I just listen, but sometimes I'll say something if the conversation strikes a chord with me. Even then, I don't usually hang long in any one clump of people.

    For a 6'4" guy, I can manage to be pretty invisible in a crowd, and I usually prefer that. After all, listening is what I mostly learn from, not from talking.
     
  4. Speedy
    Offline

    Speedy Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2008
    Messages:
    4,866
    Likes Received:
    81
    Location:
    Australia
    If im ever pushed out of a group, or feel left out, i'll just find something else to do/find. Unless i was really close and the "finding something/someone" was difficult.

    But im like that, i really dont get that attached, nor care for it. Apart from my partner which is different.

    COnversation wise (sorry think i took it on a bigger level) - i just listen, not a real talker, unless someone actually asks me directly. Im a pretty good listener. Some people pick it up and talk to me, some dont, and dont come to me, no lose, but i wont push my way in too help them unless i see it as something i believe i should.

    Or if it involves sport maybe..
     
  5. The Freshmaker
    Offline

    The Freshmaker <insert obscure pop culture reference> Contributor

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2006
    Messages:
    1,784
    Likes Received:
    79
    Location:
    St. Petersburg, FL
    I'm pretty self-conscious about doing that sort of thing, which I'm pretty sure stops me from doing it. I'm pretty insecure and paranoid when it comes to my social skills. Like, maybe I'm crazy and annoying and I'm not even aware of it. So, if I think there's any chance of me not being wanted somewhere, I'll find something else to do.
     
  6. Eoz Eanj
    Offline

    Eoz Eanj Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2006
    Messages:
    2,208
    Likes Received:
    41
    Quite often, which is why I save myself the trouble now by just not talking to people at all

    lolol

    'Hi- I'm anti-social!'
     
  7. tehuti88
    Offline

    tehuti88 Contributing Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2008
    Messages:
    642
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Michigan
    I always feel like I'm pushing my way in, no matter what the circumstances. Just by replying to this post (or any post, or e-mail, anywhere online) I feel like I'm pushing my way in. "Who the heck wants to hear this idiot's opinion anyway?"

    It's the same in real life, even more so, which is one reason why I don't talk to people; even should they ask something I'll give the shortest answer possible, because who wants to hold a conversation about something I'm interested in? People insist they want to talk and get to know you, but it's not true. I know from experience.

    This is why I wish I could find somebody interested in the same things I am, then I wouldn't feel like I have to shut up to avoid boring or imposing on them, and I wouldn't get bored of what they say, because we'd both talk about the same things. Unfortunately, my interests don't seem that common.

    (I do wish people would stop misusing the word "antisocial." That means AGAINST society, not AVOIDING/WITHDRAWING FROM society. If you're "antisocial," that means you're more likely to vandalize things or kill somebody's pets or commit murder, rather than just avoid conversations and socializing. Asocial is the proper word.)
     
  8. Foxee
    Offline

    Foxee Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    May 2, 2008
    Messages:
    2,663
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Pennsylvania, USA
    I tend to wander around, not really joining any group, until I get interested talking to someone. Then if the conversation continues to be interesting sometimes other people will join in (hence making a group) or we'll happily natter away and ignore everyone else. The only thing is, if you get buttonholed by a bore it can be difficult to get away.

    Other than that, I'm more like Cog, I think.
     
  9. Scarecrow28
    Offline

    Scarecrow28 Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2008
    Messages:
    496
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    That's Classified
    I tend to be more reclusive and generally will just listen. The biggest issue with this is when I do make a comment pertaining to the conversation, everyone previously involved tends to turn towards me and give me a strange glare like "who are you".
     
  10. Eoz Eanj
    Offline

    Eoz Eanj Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2006
    Messages:
    2,208
    Likes Received:
    41
    I wish people would stop using the word introverted when, technically, there are only varying degrees of extraverison- but that's never going to happen.

    Calm down and have a kit-kat.

    [​IMG]
     
  11. Heather Louise
    Offline

    Heather Louise Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2006
    Messages:
    2,972
    Likes Received:
    32
    Aye, that's sorta the thing that goes through my mind when you're talking to people, and you get one of those looks which says they reeeeealy don't like you. It's a shame 'cos a few people in this group are canny with me, only the others glare at when I'm there.

    Although, I've realised recently I'm a lot more confident that I used to be. I've been having a bit of trouble with some arguing and the general stuff that goes with school at the moment and I just sort of sat back and went "if they have a problem with me, it's their problem, not mine", whereas usually I'd feel reeeeealy consious about it.
     
  12. Carmina
    Offline

    Carmina Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2008
    Messages:
    3,909
    Likes Received:
    49
    Location:
    Woodland California
    I take a predatory approach in social situations. I separate the weak ones from the pack . By that I mean I find the others who don't look like they belong or who are being ignored and chat them up. Then we get our own group going and no one I left out. I do believe, however, that you have to put yourself in there or no one will notice you.
     

Share This Page