1. Ryan Elder
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    Ryan Elder Contributing Member

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    Question about writing this rape/sexual assault scene.

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Ryan Elder, Feb 7, 2016.

    In my story, a woman sexually assaults a man, which is the crime that sets the rest of the plot in motion.

    However, after getting some feedback from others, I wrote the scene in an unintentionally funny way, or so they say.

    Basically what the woman does, to get the man hard is, she puts a cock ring on his penis, and then uses a penis pump, to get him hard. The ring then holds the blood in, and keeps it hard.

    But I was told by others that this ruins the horror of the same scene because a penis pump is just going to bring unintentional laughs to the reader. I did research and I asked around, and I was informed that a penis pump is the best way to force a hostage to get an erection, when he doesn't want to.

    I can't use drugs like viagra, or anything stronger, cause those drugs only get a man erect when he is in the mood. Being kidnapped and tied up, by a dangerous psycho will not get this man in the mood, and those drugs do not make one's penis just go up, in a life threatening situation.

    So since drugs are not reliable in that sense, is the a better way that will not cause laughs, like the reader's said? I am guessing that the reason why it caused laughs was that the penis pump was in bad taste? However, the villain wants to rape so she herself is in bad taste, and would probably do what it takes to achieve that.

    But if it's still going to cause bad laughs is their a better method, that would still make sense for the character to use?
     
  2. ddavidv
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    ddavidv Contributing Member

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    I don't think the pump is the problem, though there is probably some stigma associated with it (I mean, who do you know that has ever used one?). Without any knowledge other than assumption I've considered the things a weird toy for guys with a bad love life. So you need to overcome the stigma.

    The only way to do this is to write the scene in such a way that there is no room for laughter. It has to be terrifying and a bit repulsive. You will probably need to weave in some description of how/why the pump works so the reader doesn't make an uneducated assumption like I did above. This is your job as a writer. There is no magic bullet other than writing that scene so well the reader won't even consider smirking.
     
  3. Ryan Elder
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    Ryan Elder Contributing Member

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    Okay thanks. Since I am writing a screenplay though, I am only allowed to write what is scene, format wise. It's against format to go into a tangent about how penis pumps work.

    As for the stigma, which stigma would that be? Is it because of how Austin Powers portrayed the pump in that one scene that was meant to be funny and perhaps a lot of people's minds go to that?
     
  4. Cave Troll
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    Cave Troll Bite the bullet, do your own thing. Contributor

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    There are plenty of Domination vids where the Mistress uses a penis pump on the submissive for multiple reasons. It can be painful if pumped too much, it can also be used as a way of forcing them to stay erect uncomfortably against their will. So it can be sinister in a sense, but it is hard to take such a device and make it that way with out showing how sinister the operator is. There has to be something else to it to make it more scary and less funny. You could use a tens unit instead of a pump and stimulate the penis with electric shock to get it erect, that might not be construed as funny for most people while you reach the same results you are aiming for. Or you can have her use a form of prostate massage to achieve the same effect further degrading her captive. There are a couple of different options of how to help her in her rape of a man. Though fear can be used to her advantage, as there have been studies done that fear can act as an aid to sexual arousal if done properly. Just some ideas for you to play around with if you're interested in alternatives. :p
     
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  5. Lea`Brooks
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    Lea`Brooks Contributing Member Contributor

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    I've actually heard (and this isn't a slam on men or anything) that it's pretty easy to get them erect. When men are sexually assaulted, the common thing to say is, "A woman can't sexually assault a man because he gets erect -- that must mean he enjoys it." That's part of the reason why men don't come forward about assaults and feel ashamed. They feel they were "asking for it" because they were erect.

    But that isn't necessarily true. The body reacts, whether the man consciously wants to or not. I'd do some research into that, because I agree, the penis pump and vibrating ring seem too comical. I think it would be just as impactful, if not more so, to just have her perform oral sex on him until he's erect.
     
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  6. Lea`Brooks
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    Lea`Brooks Contributing Member Contributor

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    From male survivors of sexual assault:
     
  7. Lea`Brooks
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    Lea`Brooks Contributing Member Contributor

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    And from unhelpful myths about the sexual assault and rape of men:
     
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  8. BayView
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    BayView Contributing Member Contributor

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    How old is your victim? The younger he is, the less trouble the rapist will have in getting him hard, as a general rule.

    I'd say manual stimulation - for the added humiliation/pain of making him think at least part of him wanted sex, and in order to avoid the silliness of the penis pump.
     
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  9. Ryan Elder
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    Ryan Elder Contributing Member

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    He is about late 20's, early 30s, I guess. The thing is is that she kidnaps him with a pistol, and forces him to cuff himself to the bed. Since she is using a gun to control him, would he really be stimulated, since he is the type of person who is normally afraid of people with guns pointed at him?
     
  10. BayView
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    BayView Contributing Member Contributor

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    Does she need to keep the gun pointed at him once he's cuffed?

    I don't know - I don't have a penis of my own. But those I've been in contact with? They generally seem to respond pretty well to most kinds of attention.

    Alternatively - is it absolutely necessary that his penis be involved, or that it be hard if it is involved? Like, are you trying to get her pregnant or something? Otherwise, there are lots of sexual ways for a man to be assaulted that don't require an erection. Maybe you could look into some of those?
     
  11. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    :superlaugh::superlaugh::superlaugh::superlaugh:

    Are you saying you're a hottie or that men will just get excited about anything?
     
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  12. BrianIff
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    BrianIff I'm so piano, a bad punctuator. Contributor

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    She's saying penises are attention whores. :):p
     
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  13. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    I think the thing to say here is, the guy is going to be so full of adrenaline from having a gun pointed at him, that he is going to probably have an erection before the chick even does something to him.
     
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  14. BrianIff
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    BrianIff I'm so piano, a bad punctuator. Contributor

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  15. Ryan Elder
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    Ryan Elder Contributing Member

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    Well I thought he would be more violated if it was his penis, since it's part of his character development for him to want revenge for it later.

    No, she doesn't have to keep the gun on him while cuffed, but she still has to keep it next to her. I know some guys like an aggressive woman but for me I cross the line, when I can be killed at any moment, and I thought most guys would feel the same way.
     
  16. Lea`Brooks
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    You're missing the point. Having an erection doesn't mean he's turned on or enjoying it. It's a physiological response that he doesn't have control over. It's very common. Even if there's a gun pointed at him and he's terrified, there's still a chance he'd get an erection.
     
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  17. Ryan Elder
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    Ryan Elder Contributing Member

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    Yep, I understand that, and I have read the articles you posted. However, I wrote it like this before, and readers said they didn't buy the fact that he would have an erection. So I thought that the reader's had a point and wrote it, that she uses a penis pump. I was then told it was worse, to have that. So if I choose for him to have an erection, and he is screaming and fighting to break free, begging her to stop, how can I write it that the reader will actually buy the erection under such negative and traumatic circumstances?

    It's a screenplay, so I am just allowed to write what the reader sees, and cannot get into depth about psychological descriptions or anything like that.
     
  18. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    Hmmm I just read that when going into the "fight or flight" situation that your body actually shuts down the part of the nervous system that makes a man have an erection. That blows my idea out of the water.
     
  19. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    Ok let me put this out there since it was somewhat alluded to but not expounded upon. You are saying hse is going to rape this guy right? He is going to use as a catapult for revenge later? Ok well here's the deal, if you want to really give the guy a reason for revenge, have her cuff his ass face doen on the bed and sodomize him. Even iof the guy is straight or gay it won't matter if he isn't consenting to sex with her.
     
  20. Ryan Elder
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    Ryan Elder Contributing Member

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    Okay thanks. I was told that before, but I feel that it won't have the same effect. I think it's because sodomizing has been done so many times before, especially if it's a male victim, so it comes as a... well fad is not the right word, but I feel it's been done too many times, and it's not in her character perhaps. I mean if she wants pleasure it just seems logical to get the erection up somehow.
     
  21. Lewdog
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  22. BrianIff
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    BrianIff I'm so piano, a bad punctuator. Contributor

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    This situation might even make it more likely.
     
  23. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    But they didn't have sex!
     
  24. BrianIff
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    BrianIff I'm so piano, a bad punctuator. Contributor

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  25. Ryan Elder
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    Ryan Elder Contributing Member

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    I think all that auto erotic asphyxiation and prostate milking only works, if the guy is comfortable to a degree, no? What if he is trying to fight her off, would that part not be shut down to the point, where it won't work?

    And why would the character bother will all this when a penis pump and a ring is just easier and more logical? Shouldn't the reader be thinking "Hey, penis pumps are not stigmas... they are what she would logical use."
     
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2016

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