I don't know about you, but I have a mountain of regrets about my life. I feel that my teens and early twenties were pretty much wasted in a morass of laziness and general stupidity. During those years, I wasn't really doing anything, wasn't accomplishing any goals, didn't have an agenda or master plan. I was just going through the motions, watching too much television, playing too much video games, working half-ass at 3 different jobs, and studying just enough in each class to pass in college (somehow I graduated). I wasn't aggressive. I didn't appreciate how fragile life is, how important each and every moment that you live must be. I was a passive spectator. A day dreaming, risk averse, non-confrontational, slothful fool. I had lofty dreams and great ambitions, but I did practically almost nothing in way of getting them realized. So I feel very much that I deserve what I have now. No fortune. No empire. No custom designed and manufactured cars. No professional MMA career. No role in a action/martial arts series. No hot Eastern European model girlfriend(s). No adventures in South America. I was not supposed to be an average Joe. I feel I was destined for greatness, eminence, and renown, to live a life beyond the ordinary. I was supposed to be a man of distinction and merit. But because of my cowardice, my lack of work ethic, my unwillingness to do what is necessary to achieve extraordinary things, my lack of balls-to-the-wall ferocity, my ineptitude and my weakness, I am here. So what if I have a roof over my head and can pay my bills? I can say that doesn't really mean shit to me. There are so many no-name schmucks and passionless worms that populate this world. They are the majority. Honestly, I did not expect in my naïve and ignorant youth to end up essentially in the same category. But of course, this was an inevitable result of the path that I was on, a path of inaction, a lack of consistent efforts and striving. So this is my perdition, my Fall. I was born divine and dirtied my soul with run-of-the-mill mediocrity. This is purgatory for my sins. My solace is that perhaps one day I can climb out of this pit, this cesspool of failure and redeem myself. I am still young. I can do this. I will do this. The Holy Light of Divinity will shine upon me. I shall have my vindication.