1. PastPresentNFuture
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    PastPresentNFuture Senior Member

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    Romantic Uncertainty

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by PastPresentNFuture, Jul 26, 2011.

    I'm a person who has never dated anyone. I know it's not a big deal now that I'm 17. However I know of people who are 27 and still have never dated. Sometimes I think this may last until I die. I'm not mad, just worried. Anyone have suggestions that might ease my small troubles.
     
  2. LikeLightToTheFlies
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    LikeLightToTheFlies Member

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    My suggestion: Don't worry about it.

    Being single, while it does have it's downs, also have it's ups. What those ups are, however, is up to you to determine. It all varies from person to person.
     
  3. Gigi_GNR
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    Gigi_GNR Guys, come on. WAFFLE-O. Contributor

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    It won't last forever, believe me. And you're not the only person who's ever felt that way, either. You just need to find the right person.
     
  4. SteamWolf
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    SteamWolf Senior Member

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    A few tips from someone who has been there and figured it out:
    Don't worry about it at 17. That's the age when things start shaping up and what happens now won't be how you see or approach things in the future.

    Be happy. Seriously. No-one likes a sad-sack and misery attracts miserable people. Even if it's a total self-lie, it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. An outwardly happy persona affects people around you in a positive way and this in turn will actually make you happy.

    Take up community classes and a mixed team sport. Not only does it make you a more interesting person, the social side of it does wonders.

    Chicks dig self-confidence. If you don't have any, fake it until you do. No matter how physically unattractive you think you are, you aren't that bad and an aura of self confidence and an interesting personality will do far more than a trendy haircut and dad's sports car.

    Getting shut down when you ask someone out is normal. Treat it as practice and aim high, even when you know it'll end up as a fail. That's what practice is all about! And if you managed to pull it off, then it wasn't practice :D
    Don't be put off by it. Get emotionally attached to the idea AFTER you get a date, not before.

    Always remember no matter how bad you think things are, they are not that bad. And only one person can change things for the better.
     
  5. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    Don't worry about this sort of thing. Life really is too much fun to sit around worrying about having a boyfriend/girlfriend.
     
  6. Lydia
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    Lydia Contributing Member Contributor

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    Nothing to worry about. In fact, be happy you weren't dating at 13, 14, ages like that. You're 17, you're growing up (or maybe not, since I'm 19 and I still haven't :p) and you have plenty of time to find someone who is right for you.
     
  7. WriterDude
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    WriterDude Contributing Member Contributor

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    I have an ex-girlfriend who got pregnant at 16 and was forced to get married. Not to me, thankfully. :p As for me, I was 21 when I started dating, and although I'm 33 now I have only dated a handful of women and been single well over a year. Dating isn't everything. I guess what you should ask yourself is why you want to date someone. Is it becausae you want to share your life with someone, have some "fun" or because it's expected of you? In my case, it's usually the latter. And trust me, "fun" is overrated most of the time.
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. VM80
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    VM80 Contributing Member Contributor

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    Never worry about that at all.

    Everyone is different. I for one was such a kid at 17, 18 (still am one now :p) & didn't feel ready for dating etc. I was in my early 20s when I went on my first date.

    WriterDude made some good points above too.
     
  9. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    I was around 17/18 when I went on my first date. I'm still in a relationship with that girl. One of my friends back home went on his first date at 13 and now he has a child and an estranged wife, and he's only 20.

    Just like VM80 said, everyone is different.
     
  10. Heather
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    Heather Contributing Member

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    I know people have already said this, but sometimes dating younger can be a negative thing. I've never massivly been interested in dating, I'm seeing someone at the moment, but before then I'd been single for nearly three years - which people thought was a little strange. What I thought was strange was the amount of girls who were pregnant (seriously, I have less fingers than pregant/mother friends), the amount of people who were crying over their boyfriends/girlfriends, and the amount of people who just didn't seem happy.

    There's no point trying to force yourself in dating someone if you don't feel like you want to, I've learned that the hard way as I'm sure many others have. Eventually, someone will come along who you feel like you want to be with. :)
     
  11. WriterDude
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    WriterDude Contributing Member Contributor

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    And besides, the whole "better to have love and lost"-stuff is BS. It's often better to just stay friends. What are you missing out on anyway? And in return, there's much harder to ruin a friendship than a relationship, and it gives you more freedom on top of it. :)
     
  12. LikeLightToTheFlies
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    LikeLightToTheFlies Member

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    I'm not sure I agree with this.

    Granted, when me and my ex broke up, I certainly thought that at times. But, I learned a lot about myself during the two years we were together: That I'm easily whipped, am the jealous type, and someone who would rather be pissed and say nothing versus trying to sort out the thoughts in my head in an attempt to relieve a situation.

    Breaking up does suck. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm actually completely over it. But I learned things about myself that I might not have if we just stayed friends.
     
  13. PastPresentNFuture
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    PastPresentNFuture Senior Member

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    Hi guys thanks for helping. I guess the fact that my peers all dated in grade 9, sort of made me feel slightly self conscious. But again thanks for helping.
     

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