1. Tekqueen
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    Tekqueen Member

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    Rough Story Idea

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Tekqueen, May 28, 2011.

    This idea is one I have been writing and rewriting its just the start of a story idea but not sure where to go on it. Any thoughts or suggestions would be welcomed. I apologize this might read a bit fragmented as this is a rough idea. This story is going to be a fantasy romance story as it seamed like it was going to be in that category of stories.


    I have used the names Kanee and Alexander for the main characters names. Just rough ideas for names but might decide on something better. I also wish to say thank you to you all for welcoming to me so well to this forum.

    Sorry this is a bit fragmented and I apologize again that it is.

    Story Idea:

    Setting there is an old restaurant an oriental one has an Asian style roof with dragons on all four corners of the roof. This also offers underwater dinning for customers as well. Iin this there is also a try with three Saki style containers on it and a small cup there to. Not sure if this could be she was waiting for someone. The restaurant is on old fashioned docks at night under the moonlight.

    Out on the docks Kanee watches the moonlight sparkling on the water the docks are a large set in a port by the ocean. Off in the far distance she looks over seeing a shadow on a set of docks far off into the distance. "What is that?" She says moving closer.

    Coming up closer onto the shadow it slowly takes on the form of a man sprinting down the long docks her shoes clattering against the old wood the only sound resounding in the deep dark night. A misty fog rolls over the waters and onto the docks clouding her vision. Looking beyond the fog she sees the glint of dark brown blonde hair.

    "What it can't be?" She says sprinting even faster down the docks coming up on the figure she is stunned.

    Light shines on his face "No!" She shouts as she moves closer she sits beside him running her hand down his pale face sweat built up at his forehead glitters in the moonlight.

    Silently Kanee knows what she has to do moving several feet away from him on the docks. Her arms outstretched she summons her energy as she closes her eyes and concentrates. Opening her eyes Kanee keeps her eyes on Alexander, as a steady stream of glowing energy flows from her and into him.

    Getting weak she keeps up the stream of energy, "What how is it I'm a wake?"

    Taking a few minutes he doesn't notice Kanee giving him her energy until he moves to look at her. She herself is getting weak and pale and sweat building at her own forehead.

    I am not sure the start of the story but this again is just a start of an idea please do let me know your thoughts and ideas. If any of you need help with ideas let me know and I'd be happy to offer my ideas in return.

    Tekqueen:cool:
     
  2. EdFromNY
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    EdFromNY Hope to improve with age Supporter Contributor

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    [Waiting for Cogito's stock (and excellent) reply to all such posts.]

    First of all, that's not an idea for a story, it's the beginning of a story, and a poorly written one at that. Much of the problem is sloppy typing, but some of your sentences just don't make sense. "Coming up closer onto the shadow it slowly takes on the form of a man sprinting down the long docks her shoes clattering..." Huh?? If the man is running, why are HER shoes clattering?

    If you want an opinion about your idea, tell us your idea. Don't give snippets of a scene that provides a couple of questions and no answers. I have to tell you that I've read through this a couple of times, and I have no idea what your idea is, or even what genre it might fit into.

    Rather than post your idea, let me suggest this...go ahead and write it. Don't ask us what we think of it, because if we all tell you it's terrible but you think in your heart it's a worthwhile project, you're going to write it. And, if we all tell you it's wonderful, you'll be a lock for a Pulitzer, but you don't believe in it, you won't write it. So, just write it.
     
  3. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    I agree that this is the beginning of a story, not a storyline overview for a story itself.

    If you want your beginning reviewed, the place to do it is the Review Room section -- but you have to provide at least two constructive/specific reviews for other writers before posting your own work.

    If you want ideas for your plot, you'll need to give an overview of what's going to happen overall throughout the story, and give a specific idea of where you are stuck and what you need help on.

    Good luck! :)
     
  4. _Lulu_
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    _Lulu_ Member

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    I read this last night and also didn't understand a word apart from the over use of the word 'docks'. I've just re-read it and from what I can tell, there's an unconscious man and the girl is transferring her energy to him while losing it herself :confused: It doesn't tell me the genre or the synopsis of what you want to write.

    Just remember, you are in control of your story. If you feel it's worth writing then write it.
     
  5. Tekqueen
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    Tekqueen Member

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    This is a bit of a rough idea it was only one it wasn't complete yet. I can give more detail. It was only a fragment of what the whole story could be turned into. I'll rewrite it and see if I can clear up some confusion. I wasn't sure if this is going to be the begining of the story or later in it. This is just a fragment idea that I thought could be turned into a story.

    Sorry for all the confusion and errors in this start of an idea. I didn't mean any confusion on this.

    Tekqueen
     
  6. EdFromNY
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    EdFromNY Hope to improve with age Supporter Contributor

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    My suggestion is still that instead of posting an idea and getting reaction to it, just get going on the idea itself and see what you can do with it.
     
  7. Lord Malum
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    Lord Malum Senior Member

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    Don't rewrite it. Write an overview. No dialogue. If you want to present an idea, present the idea. If you want critiques on the beginning of your story, write the beginning and post it in the review section.
     
  8. Tekqueen
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    Tekqueen Member

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    Ok thanks for the suggestion Lord Malum I'll re do this and an overview with no dialogue then by doing that it will be presented as an idea rather than a story start. Thank you again Lord Malum. :)

    Tekqueen :)
     
  9. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    A story concept means nothing. I can tell you now, it has all been done before. What matters is how you write it, the characterization, the flow, the imagery, all of it.

    There's no benefit in asking what other people think of the concept! They'll either say,"Sounds great," or, "it sounds like a ripoff of..."

    If the idea stirs you, write it. Then ask people what they think of the final story. After they tell you what they don't like about it, revise it, usually several times, until you're happy with it or until you throw up your hands and say the hell with it.

    Please read What is Plot Creation and Development?

    Also, you need to develop your own story. If you are having difficulty with the process, this is the place to ask. But don't ask people to come up with the ideas themselves for you.
     
  10. Lord Malum
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    Lord Malum Senior Member

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    :D Here to help. Looking forward to reading your overview.
     
  11. Sundae
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    Sundae Contributing Member

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    Remember, proper punctuation is your friend. :)
     

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