1. Duchess-Yukine-Suoh
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    Duchess-Yukine-Suoh Girl #21 Contributor

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    Sad people are sad

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Duchess-Yukine-Suoh, Nov 10, 2013.

  2. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    I have friends who are married and they have their shared email address is lesandgayleen@ whatever. com - I think that is a punishable offence.
     
  3. live2write
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    live2write Contributing Member

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    This reminds me of what people do in normal relationships on facebook.
     
  4. Aurin
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    Aurin Member

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    Other than number 9 which I personally find weird, seems like whoever wrote the article is just a jealous so-and-so.
     
  5. thirdwind
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    thirdwind Contributing Member Contest Administrator Reviewer Contributor

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    I guess I have a sad life because I find all ten of those things annoying. Thankfully, I stopped using Facebook 2 years ago, so I don't come across stuff like that anymore.
     
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  6. 123456789
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    123456789 Contributing Member Contributor

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    Dying, dude.
     
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  7. 123456789
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    123456789 Contributing Member Contributor

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    Especially in today's media obsessed society, it's natural for normal people to want to feel important, if that means posting pictures of a grilled cheese sandwich, or showing the world their anniversary picture with their boyfriend. I don't think it's really about marriage.
     
  8. jazzabel
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    jazzabel Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hahaha :D I've been married twice, my husband is my favourite person in the entire Universe, but I agree with every. word. of this article. Amen!

    I resisted facebook on and off and I'm back on now, mainly to connect with family (yada yada). Anyway, my brother in law got totally sucked in. Last weekend, him and his girlfriend went to a beautiful, posh seaside spa, for couple of days of pure bliss. Well from the moment they checked in, we've been seeing updates on facebook, of every single thing they did, including pictures. Including when they had sex (no pictures, thank god), every food and beverage they consumed etc. I'm considering staging an intervention.
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2013
  9. EllBeEss
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    EllBeEss Contributing Member

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    After reading this I started to think how none of this stuff bothers me on facebook, but then I realized it isn't an issue for me because none of my friends (being mostly seventeen) are married, which I think would apply to you as well Duchess.

    Honestly although couples on facebook mostly aren't this bad I still get annoyed at how mushy some of my friends get. I don't care if you've been together a week. If you tell me how many weeks it's been every week I will want to scream. If you're in a relationship/married fine, just don't bring it to our attention every minute of every day.
     
  10. Tara
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    Tara Contributing Member

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    If this only happened once or twice it wouldn't bother me, but if people do it all the time it gets incredibly annoying. I mean, seriously? A relationship is something between two people, not something between two people and the world. I think it's enough if people announce their 6 month and 1 year anniversary (if they really have to) and their 5, 10, (20?,) 25 and 50 year anniversary.

    But then again; I'm not the kind of person for romance and mushy stuff :p
     
  11. T.Trian
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    T.Trian Overly Pompous Bastard Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I'm afraid KaTrian and I are guilty of a lot of the things mentioned in the list (except for 7, at least). Granted, I visit FB so rarely, I don't really do much there nor do I ever update my status or post on walls but sometimes Kat does and you know what? If someone doesn't like it, we don't give a shit. If it bothers someone, they're free to ignore the updates and photos. If they refuse to do that, they can take it up with us face to face and then we'll deal with the situation in a way that leads to a satisfactory resolution.
    Peace and mushy love for all.
     
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  12. chicagoliz
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    chicagoliz Contributing Member Contributor

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    Eh, whatever. As far as #7, I don't know anyone who does that - maybe younger people do, and I don't have too many of them in my group of friends.

    As far as the gushing over a spouse, yeah, that is annoying, but those are almost always the people who have the worst marriages or are the most difficult people themselves. (Or the spouse is a psycho who will get mad if not sufficiently gushed-over.) I ignore those, but again, I don't have that many friends who do that.

    I think those inspirational quotes are ridiculous, but I ignore them. (I'd be more likely to join a group called "My husband is a jackass," rather than "I love my husband." I love my husband, too, but I don't need to be in a group. If you're married, you should love your spouse. Otherwise, why are you married?

    I love being on Facebook. I get a lot of news there. I find a lot of my friends are quite witty and erudite. Some of them travel to some very interesting places. Some of them have really interesting news sources. Some have written some really interesting articles or had some really neat experiences. And some have some useful information to share. I hid a couple who used to post constantly how many emails were in their inbox, what they had for lunch, what they had for dinner, and what their spouse cooked. I also hid one who loved to "vaguebook," which is posting a status about how awful the world is, but with no details as to what, specifically, was upsetting.
     
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  13. KaTrian
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    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Whoa, guys, why do you read status updates by people you know are gonna annoy the jumping jesus on a pogo stick out of you?
    An old friend of mine always got my eyes rolling with her wall posts about how everybody loves her, men continuously ask her out, she's got awesome job offers raining in from left and right, and how tiring it is when everybody wants a piece of ya cuz you're so popularz.

    Now I just ignore her posts, or if I accidentally read them, I try to be happy for her. Namby-pamby, maybe, but bitterness fucking sucks, and I've got enough crap in my life already, so being happy for others actually kind of helps me deal with said crap.

    On the other hand, these type of lists can be pretty funny. Suppose I might just write one to exercise my self-irony muscles. Can't take yourself too seriously, can you? And I know I'm one of those we this and we that -people. T and I do almost everything together and love it.
     
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  14. 123456789
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    123456789 Contributing Member Contributor

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    Well, I don't think I've ever seen anything more adorable than a couple writing novels together
     
  15. JJ_Maxx
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    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    Being that most of my FB friends are Christian I have quite a few couples with joint accounts. When they post a status, they sign it with an '-Alison' or '-Jerry'. It doesn't bother me in the least and my wife and I have talked about doing the same thing, it's just a tedious task to migrate all your existing stuff to a new account and close the other one.
     
  16. KaTrian
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    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Staff Supporter Contributor

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    You haven't seen a kitten forget to pull its teeny tiny tongue back in its mouth after a vigirous wash or a bowl of cream?

    We're damned adorable, but not that adorable :D
     
  17. chicagoliz
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    chicagoliz Contributing Member Contributor

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    Just curious why identifying as Christian leads to joint Facebook accounts.
     
  18. Tobin Tullis
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    Tobin Tullis New Member

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    Anytime ANYBODY tries to chime in on a social networking platform that promotes free speech, on how they SHOULD act and what they SHOULD post, only come off as petty and insignificant. The very synopsis of Facebook is for people to feel free to share how they feel, what they see, who they are....If they are feeling it they cant be wrong (outside anything clearly offensive) and should feel free to post away.
    The decision bounces back to the short minded person who takes the time to unofficially draft "rules". Are they going to continue to follow that person or stop to go judge somebody else for a while. Don't like that I love my wife and I want the whole world to know? LEAVE
     
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  19. JJ_Maxx
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    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    In some Christian marriages, the husband and wife believe very firmly in keeping themselves pure both in reality and in perception. They usually stay away from opposite-gender friendships and instead focus on meeting each others needs both physically and emotionally. They cultivate couple-based relationships instead. They believe that their marriage is sacred and should be protected from temptation and gossip. It's not about trust, it's more about understanding to not place themselves in situations where temptation could arise. ;)
     
  20. Writay
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    Writay New Member

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    ^^^ When they get married, what happens with the friendships they may have with people who are not married?

    As for the other things talked about here, it seems to me Facebook is maybe not for everyone.
    I quit it. It just didn't bring much to my life to read about what people had for dinner or how many laps they had jogged or what concerts they had been to. If they want to tell everyone who can read their walls about it, great. I'm just not that interested :D
     
  21. JJ_Maxx
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    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    Most friendships change after marriage in both secular and Christian relationships. You make a covenant to 'become one' and you receive all the emotional and physical needs from your spouse. If the friend is of the opposite gender, the friendship becomes more acquaintance and more considerations are made to remain pure.
     
  22. EdFromNY
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    EdFromNY Hope to improve with age Supporter Contributor

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    I respect the fact that you and your spouse view marriage this way, and every couple has to work these things out for themselves, but I would not say it happens in "most" relationships, nor would I agree that there is anything particularly "Christian" about it. I realize that there is a particular strain of practicing Christianity that views marriage this way and maybe feels compelled to speak on behalf of all Christians, but I find nothing in any of the Christian dogma with which I am familiar that would require this. Moreover, I don't happen to think it's either realistic or healthy. But that's just me.

    Christian marriage demands total love and complete fidelity. Nowhere have I ever seen it suggested that one must look solely inward from their wedding day onward, nor am I aware of anything that suggests that one should eschew friendships with members of the opposite gender. In 37 years of marriage, both my wife and I have had a number of friends of the opposite gender, some going back to our college days. One friend of mine, in particular, was wonderfully supportive when we first discovered our daughter had autism - we were working together at the time - and actually gave me some very good advice when my daughter's issues were putting a terrible strain on our relationship. It's fine to say you should receive all your emotional needs from your spouse, but there are times and situations when your spouse may be just as overwhelmed as you are, and then it's nice to have a friend you can turn to.

    I think it was Tiehard de Jardin who wrote that true love means that you will do whatever your love needs in order to help him/her reach her full potential. That might include seeking the help of a trusted friend beyond the marriage for what you yourself cannot provide, or encouraging your spouse to do so.
     
  23. TessaT
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    TessaT Contributing Member

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    I find most people's Facebook updates annoying. Then again, I don't need to know what you had for dinner every night, I don't need to know what underwear you're wearing, I don't need to know about that funny rash that you have in your nether regions, and I don't particularly care to know about your political view. Which is why I rarely log in to Facebook and hide a majority of my friends' posts.

    And I have to agree with the strangeness of the couple's facebook. Do you not have your own identity? Having a Facebook that both of you update doesn't make you any closer, nor does it make you a better wife/husband. The best husband/wife Christian duo that I know have separate FB accounts and they're constantly joking with each other. Thankfully they didn't migrate to couples only friends (that's weird too), as they're fantastic people.
     
  24. JJ_Maxx
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    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    I respect every couples right to define their own boundaries.

    What I have found is that it's better to be cautious when it comes to cross-gender realtionships because the enemy is looking for any weakness to take advantage of. I haven't seen any couples regret being overly-mindful of their associations, but I've seen plenty of marriages that wish they had set tighter boundaries.

    It's great that your gamble has paid off so far, and everything has worked out, but as you know that's not always the case. It *is* common for Christians to be more selective when it comes to their cross-gender relationships.

    I'm not telling anyone that they are wrong by having a more open relationship, but all the evidence I have seen has shown that there is a very real possibility of a well-intended friendship to become something neither person wanted.

    It was aksed why Christian couples have joint-Facebooks and it's because married Christian men and women shouldn't be having conversations and relationships with opposite genders that doesn't involve your spouse.
     
  25. Duchess-Yukine-Suoh
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    Duchess-Yukine-Suoh Girl #21 Contributor

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    This may sound weird, but from what I've witnessed, you need to be your own person completely for marriage to get off the ground. I probably won't be dependent on my husband for emotional needs (Probably more financial, I want to be a teacher) at all. I wouldn't change that though, I think it will be beneficial in the long run. I don't want to ever be dependent on someone. I am quite the caring person, but I also prize independence.
     
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