said said said yawn

Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by doggiedude, May 9, 2016.

  1. doggiedude

    doggiedude Contributor Contributor

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    Yeah... I was trying to avoid the issue of asking about variations of "said." My question was more about how to make it grammatically correct.

    I realized after I saw some of your responses that I forgot one other situation.
    The line--
    William was surprised by that. “Really? They can do that?”
    Contains two real sentences that are able to end in a period.

    But what about something like...
    William shrugged and gave a nonchalant, “It wasn’t difficult.”
     
  2. Steerpike

    Steerpike Felis amatus Contributor

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    If people are giving you a critique that says you should replace "said" with a bunch of other tags (I'm not talking about where they want you to eliminate a tag or use a beat), they're likely to be inexperienced writers in their own right and probably not the best people to be giving a critique.
     
  3. Wreybies

    Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

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    A beat, tatala. A beat. ;)

    This example is a little tortured, but syntactically I think you've got it right. Gave a nonchalant is syntactically equivalent to nonchalantly said.
     
  4. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

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    Round about draft 74 we/or you might write:

    "They can do that?” said William.

    [Think 'white space power' or properly, power of the white space on a page, and picture me imagining William's handsome features. You don't need to tell me everything, because I am telling myself.]

    And always read your fine dialogue aloud - to yourself, and pets...

    At some point when reading aloud - sense, beats and rhyme hangs loose [in the English meaning of such] without a tag, so shove in a 'said' at this junction. Produce eight chunks of speech, two or three 'said' moments, like a sweetener really, or invisible sign posts - grasp the concept on the invisible highway..

    heh :/
     
    Wayjor Frippery and Wreybies like this.
  5. Wreybies

    Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Smoking a blunt with @matwoolf is totally on my bucket-list. ;)
     

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