1. Raxxus Von Harken
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    Raxxus Von Harken New Member

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    Secret Organisation using Outer Space germs/radiation etc. on Human beings.

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Raxxus Von Harken, Feb 3, 2009.

    Hi, my name is Raxxus Von Harken, andc this is my first post.
    No, my real name isn't Raxxus..It would be pretty sweet though, aye?
    Anyway, i'm 14 years old, and i'm into alot of Scientific/Hero/Power type of books.

    Okay, this is just the first plotline I wrote for it, the names are still cheesy, i'll fix it. What do you guys think of the Plotline itself? (Resident Evil 2 intro. :p)

    'My name is Raxxus Von Harken, also known as operation VH-X001. I am a victim and a confirmed successful project by the VH Orbit corporation (Cheesy much?)

    You may know VH Orbit as the company that supplies Space products & useful equipment to NASA & European Space associations. They also supply research of outer Space biological cells to the Government.. for some 'unknown'reasons.

    What you don't know about the Corporation, is that they are another secret corporation, secretly collecting Protons and extremely viral biologic germs...
    Including their first discovery, they uncovered a frozen Gas on Pluto. It has been used in several Wars of the American Army, including the Vietnam War.
    This weapon is known as Flannexx. This Weapon is the most destructing weapon since the Atom Bomb in Japan. It hits you like a thousand tonnes of Cancer, except.. you die in minutes.

    How do I know all this?
    I created all of it.

    (Okay, long story short, the first person ever was experimented unwillingly with the viruses, which gives him an ability, i'll figure out one soon, so just tell me what you think of the plot?)
     
  2. NaCl
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    NaCl Contributing Member Contributor

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    I don't see any "plot" here...just a hodgepodge of loosely connected ideas. You should study Cogito's post about plot creation:

    http://www.writingforums.org/showthread.php?t=10677

    Also, if this post is a representation of your writing ability, then perhaps you should focus your time on learning to write with clarity and proper grammar. You can develop such skills at the same time as you craft your story, but be prepared for lots of "corrections" from reviewers as part of your learning process.
     
  3. Raxxus Von Harken
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    Raxxus Von Harken New Member

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    Sorry, i'm just using a really old monitor, and it's very hard to see through it. My grammar is fine, it's the screen itself.

    But the plot is there, It's a secret Organisation using space protons/viral weapons, testing on Human Beings.
     
  4. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    A story concept means nothing. I can tell you now, it has been done before. What matters is how you write it, the characterization, the flow, the imagery, all of it.

    There's no point to asking what other people think of the concept! They'll either say,"Sounds great," or, "it sounds like a ripoff of..."

    If the idea stirs you, write it. Then ask people what they think of the final story. After they tell you what they don't like about it, revise it, usually several times, until you're happy with it or until you throw up your hands and say the hell with it.

    Please read this thread about What is Plot Creation and Development?

    (and yes, this is a template post, which should give you an idea of how often this comes up.)
     
  5. Mcarpenter
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    Mcarpenter Contributing Member

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    It sounds like a fun idea. Saving humanity from certain doom, sounds like a good plot. Having super powers sounds exciting. The disease/virus thing sounds horrifying. :) Get started and have fun!
    Great name, by the way--it's daring, noble and cool (Raxxus Von Harken). I don't like the name Flannexx. It makes me picture a flanel kleenex, lol!!! :D I suppose that would be dangerous though...
     
  6. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    that's not even close to being a 'plot'... it's only one element of a potential plot...
     
  7. garmar69
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    garmar69 Contributing Member Contributor

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    I apologize if this sounds facetious, but how does your monitor effect your grammar?
     
  8. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    She gets a headache from it if she can't find her bifocals. ;)
     
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