1. Cave Troll
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    Cave Troll Bite the bullet, do your own thing. Contributor

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    Seeking insight into a Plot twist.

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Cave Troll, Jan 3, 2016.

    Well here goes. I have been thinking about adding a twist to the second half of my two part (i hate to say it, series). I was wondering if it would be doable to have the true 'villain' be somebody who is close to the anti-hero.

    Rundown of events from the first half:
    Anti-hero is 'abducted' by an old adversary, while in cryo at a military installation. Anti-hero is thawed out, along with two of his three closest officers. The third dies during the process. They are given a place aboard there abductors ship. Abductor gives anti-hero copious amounts of 'classified' intel without batting an eye. This brings the anti-hero into a passion filled rage of patriotic justice from what he finds out from the classified documents. Anti-hero assumes his role as a high ranking dog of war, and begins an exodus to free his planet. Starting from the outside of his solar system, working back to his home planet wreaking havoc on his factions military installations. As well as picking up a known vicious interrogator from a far off planet in the outer rim of the system. In the process leaving a mass of approx. 800 men from his faction to be enslave by the local inhabitants. Following up the new addition to the ship, the systematic destruction ensues. First planet to get hit, the anti-hero runs into an old girlfriend and fellow officer. She gives up nothing to the anti-hero as far as information, but subtly hints that he can find the answers in her desk. He tries to persuade her to come with him, but she refuses. He then has her kill herself, so he doesn't have to. Making her use his personal weapon to do it. Her personal console is recovered by her abductor. The base is turned to slag, after what is left of the refugees are rescued.

    Anti-hero is allowed to utilize interrogators skills to try and get information from a commander from his faction. This does not yield anything in the way of useful information. So anti-hero stops the interrogation and issues a lengthy threat to the commander, warning him of what the ant-hero's goals are and telling the commander that he is going to die the next time the two meet.

    The Abductor meanwhile is using his personal desk console to break into the encrypted console of the anti-hero's dead girlfriend. Finding out that the anti-hero did not have to do what he did. Though the abductor learns that she was under surveillance of a sanctioned mercenary group, using bloodline relation to keep her in line. The abductor feels that this will not be good to share with the anti-hero so close to her death. (This is the second instance that makes me wonder if the abductor is not what he seems, along with the all to willingness to offer up classified information).

    Anti-hero makes a pit stop at a private civilian science out post, and basically steals a civilian vessel that later gets a military makeover.

    Then said ship gets sent out with the the anti-hero's closest officer to the covertly enter a military science facility, only to be arrested shortly after arrival. Anti-hero and Abductor find out that it was by someone within their own ship, to betray the whole operation to the science facility. The traitor is caught and imprisoned. The anti-hero storms the facility, and goes in after the taken officer. Site is left to slowly succumb to the elements of space.

    Abductor gives anti-hero his dead girlfriends console. He takes it and stashes it for later after he takes care of some business on Mars.

    Into the second half: Anti-hero goes to Mars to negotiate travel through their airspace on the way to Terra. and so far things to be working.

    So if you are still her after all that. I was wondering if while on Mars, the Anti-hero starts to find discrepancies in the classified information his abductor has provided. Along with later finding out that he could have saved his girlfriend with relatively little effort and manpower. The big question is would it be a reasonable idea to make the abductor the actual villain, after becoming friends with the anti-hero?
    (Sorry it is so long.) :p
     
  2. tonguetied
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    tonguetied Contributing Member Contributor

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    First is your term "anti-hero" just another way to say antagonist, or is there some other implication intended? Second question you say: "Following up the new addition to the ship, the systematic destruction ensues. First planet to get hit"; is 'First' really the next planet, the actual first being where the vicious interrogator was picked up? And your question: "The big question is would it be a reasonable idea to make the abductor the actual villain, after becoming friends with the anti-hero?" calls the true antagonist (villain) a friend which just seems to run counter to their alliance the way you describe it, for me anyway, just confusion on my part I guess.

    Finally it is your story and how you end up twisting the plot is really your decision, I see no problem with the ultimate antagonist being the abductor. I have a harder time understanding how Mars would control route space (I don't like airspace for interplanetary travel) to other solar systems which is where the story seems to have started, again this maybe my confusion only.
     
  3. Cave Troll
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    Cave Troll Bite the bullet, do your own thing. Contributor

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    The Anti-Hero is the Protagonist. Mars only controls the portion of space surrounding it with in a limit, at any given point in time. This just happens to coincide with the direct route to Earth from their current trajectory.

    Sorry about the confusing beginning to the whole mess. Basically since they have become friends, even with the control of information from one to the other. Would it be possible to make them the bad guy, who no one would suspect since the protagonist and them are so close. Kind of like the long con for a different agenda, unknown to the protagonist. If only i could have come up with that originally.
     
  4. Toomanypens
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    Toomanypens Member

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    Examples like these came to my mind
    Captain America and Bucky
    Charles Xavier and Magneto
    Unbreakable's David Dunn and Elijah Prince

    Its done best if there is an absence or an unusual connection bringing them together.
    Its done worst when you keep everyone acting normal and just Deus Ex Machina it.

    Do not just Deus Ex Machina it, if you think the friend really is the villain, start developing those suspicions before the reveal so that a person can have an aha moment that has depth and that they can see embedded through out previous events. Think of it like a cheating spouse, you start to see them going missing sometimes first, and acting a bit differently.

    I think its very standard to use people close to the MC as the villain, so its just a matter of technique and having a think on whether it is the right move for you
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2016
  5. Cave Troll
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    Cave Troll Bite the bullet, do your own thing. Contributor

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    Yeah I agree. After sleeping on it, it would be a terrible idea. No point in making a like able character, then make them bad. That is like the ultimate cliche. Oh well. It was only thought, but now I see it being more stupid and not possible. Thanks you guys for steering me in the right direction. :p
     
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